April 1St

[ShanN]

On top of my husband being in a nursing home and all that entails, the anniversary of my Mom's murder is quickly approaching.

Honestly, I'm just sobbing tonight. I couldn't save her. I wanted to so badly. Even though Leo is suffering... But not gone as my step father took away my Mom... I still cannot "fix" him. And I feel so lost. And I literally ache for my Mama's calming voice, warm embrace, and guidance that that monster robbed me of for almost 24 yrs.

I'm just crying. Alone. It's immensely hard. It hurts so bad.

I know most here have losses very recent so I feel "silly" complaining about 24 yrs. But I need her, I love her, and I miss her so much it aches.

I feel her spirit, if I didn't, I wouldn't have the strength I do possess. That strength is so very thin right now though.

Oh my heart.

[kayc]

Shannon,

You can't fix anyone, no one can. We can only be responsible for ourselves and children/pets entrusted in our care, and even then in a limited fashion. Things happen in life to those that we love, that we can't stop. You can only do your best...and accept your best.

I'm sorry you're suffering so. I wish you could have some peace and rest, so your body can know respite.

[ShanN]

Thank you Kay

I know I cannot fix... But my heart just has a hard time accepting that.

[kayc]

I know. (((Shannon)))