Guest Jen Posted December 19, 2005 Report Share Posted December 19, 2005 I lost my mother two years ago when I had just turned twenty years old. She was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was five years old. My father physically abused my mother even after she got sick, and so when I was a teenage my mother separated my father. I was going to university, but things took a turn for the worse and so I moved home to take care of her. I continued to go to school while taking care of her. Everything seemed to get better, I was doing well in school and we finally found a chemo that started to work. I was always so close to my mother, she loved me so much and never let on to how much pain she was in or how sick she was. Everything got bad again very quickly, and one day we rushed her to the hospital and within a few days she passed away. The whole SARS epidemic was raging in Toronto, and tho days before she passed away, we weren't even allowed to see her because she was "still okay" and hospital access was severely limited. By the time we were able to see her, she didn't speak again and then passed away. My sisters were hysterical, and so I just held it all in. I had nightmares for so long about everything that happened and that I saw. I had never lost anyone in my family before, it was such a shock when my mom died. It's two years later, and I have tried going back to school to get my university degree, but end up withdrawing from the term over and over because I can't deal with stress anymore. I get piercing headaches and give up on everything so easily now. I am so forgetful I can't remember anything I learn, and I was once a good student. My mother made me promise her that I would finish my education, but I can't seem to get my life together enough to do that for her. My sisters are doing okay and have been able to cope with everything and I think they wonder sometimes why 2 years later why I am an emotional wreck. I have completely shut down and am unable to function some days. I never thought that anything could ever happen to my mother because she was so strong and brave. I look back and see how I didn't realize how sick she was and how I didn't take good care of her. She always took such good care of me, but when she needed someone, I wasn't even able to help her. I don't know what to do. I am worried that I am never going to be able to get over this. If anyone could please help, I would appreciate it very much ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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