Never Gets Easier......

[Steve]

Hi, all,

Im thankful to find a group like this. My name is Steve, and I lost my mom when i was 17. She had a history of health problems, but always toughed through the days. She died December 20th, 1989. My brother and I were supposed to meet her after school after her office, and go to a Christmas party at a nursing home.

She wasnt at work, and driving the way home I got a very scary feeling re: why she wasnt there. She hadnt called and no one at the office knew where she was. When we got home, we found her laying in her nightgown and something told me she was already gone.

I called 911 though, and the worker helped me perform CPR on her until the EMS and police arrived. But it was too late.

Very difficult to say the least. Any my dad never even offered some form of counseling. And he was a so-called respected therapist in a private practice.

It's a very long story, but I realized after a job layoff, that I have been on the wrong track my whole life, trying to recreate something that was almost unattainable, esp. with my personality. All these realizations made me see I;ve had my head in the sand on a great many things, esp. the impact of my mom's death. College was difficult for me socially, and I;ve always had a problem in groups, mostly due to my size- Im tall and also on the heavy side, something I did work on tremendously- dropped 75 pounds in three years prior to being laid off.

Anyway, Ive decided to go back to school and get into a less stressful and more rewarding field. I had followed my dad in getting an MSW, but I find it too painful, esp. when dealing with death, and see that I didnt address her death as a teen. It's cost me alot in life, but I intend on gaining a large part of that back.

Thanks for reading.

Steve Y

[eaglesoaring]

Hi Steve,

I am so very sorry that you have lost your Mom and in the way that it happened and then to not get any help or support.....so very sorry. You are so very right about the effects (that last a lifetime) stay with us. I am glad that you have found your way here to this group, as it is a huge help to me.

Take care, Debbie

WHEN SILENCE IS BROKEN DOES NOT THE SOUL BEGIN TO HEAL?

[Steve]

Hi Steve,

I am so very sorry that you have lost your Mom and in the way that it happened and then to not get any help or support.....so very sorry. You are so very right about the effects (that last a lifetime) stay with us. I am glad that you have found your way here to this group, as it is a huge help to me.

Take care, Debbie

WHEN SILENCE IS BROKEN DOES NOT THE SOUL BEGIN TO HEAL?

thank you very much. i find just talking about it to be helpful. my dad even has the balls to say "i always wondered what impact your mom'd death would have on you and jeff." at the same time, he waits less than three months to so looking for someone new. and what's worse is i went into the field of therapy myself. Im moving on to better things hopefully, witha better ethic in the process I hope. I still worry about my brothers, but in the end I know I will be in the best position if I get my life on track first.

thanks for the kind words.

Steve