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Loss Of My Best Friend

Guest Ali

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Today is day 5 after losing my dearest best friend, my baby Mighty King Joe! I have been grieving since Thursday morning and my vet recommmened this to try and help cope. My Joe is still in my heart and will always be there.

The whole story started about mid November, after seeing two lumps under Joe's chin. I wasnt real sure what it was but being the mommy I am, I took him to see a vet, first we went to a mega vet place(I wont say any names)and my dad and I where advised that if we loved Joe that we would pay $1500.00 to run tests. However the vet told us that it could be tick or valley fever or lymphoma. I told my dad that I love Joe but we where not paying that to run 3 different test after paying $200.00 for the visit. Please do not get me wrong I love my Joe, but I felt that I was getting taken for the love of my pet.

That afternoon I called friends to find a vet that they may recommend. Joe and I had only been in the valley since June'05 so we hadnt found a vet yet. Soooooo a frined recommened Dr.B he was so nice and Joe loved him right off the bat. Dr.B ran one test after looking at him and it came back positive for Lymphoma. My first thought there is no way that my Joe could have Cancer of any form..... No way!

Dr.B put Joe on steriods right off the bat and WOW what an imporvement he was happy and feeling good again....... We made it thru Thanksgiving, then thru Christmas and New Years... Well the night afte Valentines he began to go down hill over night... he became sleepy all the time and not eating to much...... The invetitable was coming... Wednesday after noon he started throwing up and got sick in the car on the way home from dads(he never had been car sick). So I watched him after getting home he turned his nose up for dinner and got sick again. It just kept coming.... about an hour later we called Dr.B(the saint that he is, always taking my calls after hours)he told me to watch him thru the night and what a long night. By morning Joe was barely able to hold himself up and we went to see the vet. Dr.B told me that it was that time... Joe wouldnt even hold his head up for Dr.B, I cried and cried!!!!!! It wasnt fair, it wasnt time for my Joe to go he is suppose to stay with me!!!!! I didnt want to share him with God!! How could he take him from me????????? I am not angry with God, I know that my Joe isnt hurting any more but mom is.

They say that there are 2 kind of personalities when it comes to sick animals. First is the type that will go quitely in there sleep when no one is around. Second is the one that will fight tooth and nail not to leave you as well, with the feeling that you need them. This was Joe!!!!! I let him know that he taught me how to love again and that it was ok to leave mommy. She was going to be ok with him watching over me with all the other doggies in Doggie Heaven. Also that I would never forget him and he would be in my heart forever!!!!!!!!

How do you deal with this??????????????????????????????

Someone please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I miss my Baby Joe and crazy as it sounds I sleep with his "wobbie" blanket at night just to feel him close to me. I never thought that I would ever be this lonely???? Am I suppose to feel this way? When is it alright to start looking for another friend....... not a replacement but a new friend. The love that a pet gives is sooooooooo unconditional, how do you find that again?


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My dear Ali,

I’m so very sorry to learn of the death of your beloved Mighty King Joe. I can see from his picture what an adorable fellow he was, and I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you to let him go. How empty your home and your heart must seem now, without your faithful companion beside you! These dear little dogs have a way of weaving their way into every aspect of our daily lives, and the love they give to us is absolutely unconditional and irreplaceable.

It is obvious from your tragic story that despite everything you and your veterinarian tried to shrink your Baby Joe’s tumors, his body was failing him. I'm sure you would have done anything to prolong his life if you could have. Making the euthanasia decision for our cherished companion animals is one of the most difficult things we ever have to do, and I know this must have been terribly hard for you. Yet I'm sure your precious Joe knew how very much you loved him, and I have a feeling that he would have understood that this was your final act of love for him.

I don't know if you've ever spent any time on my Grief Healing Web site, but if you go to my Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers page,I think you will appreciate many of the writings you'll find there and I hope you'll find them helpful. See especially Rita Reynolds' beautiful piece, Euthanasia, The Merciful Release. See also an excerpt from her beautiful book, in which she describes how she coped with the death (from cancer) of her beloved honey colored terrier, Oliver: http://www.blessingthebridge.com/excerpt.htm"]Blessing the Bridge: What Animals Teach Us about Death, Dying and Beyond.

I hope, too, that you will give yourself permission to mourn this loss and to experience your grief for Mighty King Joe as legitimate and real. Unfortunately many people tend to underestimate the pain of losing a cherished pet, but only you know what this precious little dog meant to you, and only you can measure just how very much you have lost.

Sometimes it helps just to do some reading about this different kind of grief, as it helps you feel less "crazy" and alone. See, for example, my article, Coping with Pet Loss: Am I crazy to Feel So Sad about This? (Links to much of what I've written about pet loss are listed on the Articles and Books page of my Grief Healing Web site; see also my Pet Loss Links Page, and click on the category labeled PET LOSS ARTICLES.)

Finally, I want you to know that, if you live here in the Valley, there are many pet loss resources available to you right here in Phoenix, including our Pet Grief Support Telephone Helpline (602-995-5885) and our monthly Pet Grief Support Group, held at Hospice of the Valley’s central office in Phoenix, on the first Saturday of every month. See the Pet Grief Support Services page for further details. You will also find a great deal of empathy, comfort and support among the wonderful people in this forum, all of whom understand from their own personal experience the agony of pet loss.

No one can take your pain away at this sad and difficult time, Ali, but I can assure you that you are not alone. Please know that we are thinking of you and holding you close as you embark on this journey of grief.

Wishing you peace and healing,

Marty T

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