Guest Vivian Posted March 4, 2006 Report Share Posted March 4, 2006 I am new to this website and am not entirely sure about how it works (I never go into chat rooms or anything like that) but felt compelled to write. My husband passed away a few months ago having been bedridden for over a year, diagnosed with a terminal illness. Although I knew the end would come, nothing really prepared me for it. When people tell me that I must be relieved that it's all over they're wrong; I would go back to a year ago and take my husband that way if I could. We were married for 23 years and he was my love, my best friend, my soul mate. I am crying as I write this.What hurts nearly as much as the loss are the feelings of guilt that I have. Did I do all that I could for him? Did he know how much I loved him. I told him but did he know. He didn't speak with me about the inevitable though he spoke with others (apparently he didn't want to say 'goodbye to his wife') I respected his wishes then but now I feel guilty about not pouring out my heart. I feel guilty amd angry and in so much pain, it's ironic that to my friends I seem to be 'doing so well'. Vivian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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