Does Being Away Help?

[Guest Guest_Shubom_*]

It's been 2 months since my mom passed. I took a road trip and have been out of town for about a week. I didn't want to go at first, but was talked into it. I didn't want to leave home because I kept thinking my mom wouldn't know where I'd be. Well, it was hard at first, every city I visited, every hotel I check in at, before I went to sleep, I want to pick up the phone and call my mom and let her know that I made it safely. But then I realize she's not there to call. No one is, both my parents are gone. Made me cry myself to sleep every night. It's been about a week and it's gotten better. It's refreshing being away and visiting new towns. But now it's almost time for me to return back home to my old life, and I'm so afraid. I don't know if I want to go back. What if all the crazy feelings and emotions come rushing back to me at the same time, and I can't control it?! What will I do?! I hate my old life, I hate my mom not being there ! Has anyone been in this situation where you've taken a trip to get away? What happened when you returned? Did the feelings come back, etc?

[sereph]

i dont think it matters where you are, the feelings will always be there. better they come out in somewhere familiar than somewhere that you wont know anyone and nothing will be comforting.

i am really sorry about your mum, and mabey a trip was a good idea but ultimatly you cant keep running to new places.

you must remember your mum is with you and can see you. she isnt in a house or a place but in you. look at the lines of your hands or the shape of your nose. something about you came from her. and she is always going to be with you. she will always love you.

i once took a trip to get away from things a few years ago.

the moment i left my house i felt better with all that had to be done but ultimatly i missed home. you need the comfort of familiarity, i think.

what i mean to say is, your mum is always going to be with you but for your sake i would go home. to somewhere where you can let out some of what is building up inside you.

best of luck honey and i hope it all works out.

[Guest Guest_Shubom_*]

Thanks for your advice. I miss my mom so much, the more and more I think about going home, the more nervous and anxious I get. I do miss home, but I'm really dreading going back to my old life and realizing that she's not there again. But that's right, no matter where I go, I still miss her. While on my road trip, I visited family on my father's side who had not seen me since I was a few months old. It was weird seeing them and hearing stories about my mom and dad that I never knew. It sort of made me feel good that people remembered my parents and were willing to share stories. It's been about 2 months, and at home, no one talks about mom and dad anymore. It's like they've forgotten or don't care. Probably why I don't want to go back !

[Maylissa]

Shubom,

You are truly blessed to have at least some people in your family who will not only share stories about your parents, but who can even provide you with those different, and precious, other aspects of them that you may not have known about previously. This can enable you to add to your memories of them and lets you know more about the entire people they were - a precious gift! You may even be able, later, to recall some of this new-found knowledge, to draw upon as your own life unfolds, and you may even recognize more of them in yourself from doing so - another gift. I would have given a lot to have had someone, anyone, like that to turn to in my grief, but I only have one aunt who I can talk to, on my father's side, and who wasn't around us much, so there was precious little she could add - I know more than she does. However, she did mention a couple of things from before I was born, and also told me how very much my Mom adored me when I was born and how proud she was to show me off, and for that.....I could have kissed her ( but this was on the phone, long distance )!