second year / Mama flew away

[Charitylaurel]

Hi:)

 MY Mama died in January of 2015. The first year of my grief was so different than now. I have this "lack of joy" that just sits with me all day everyday. My self esteem is just so rocky. MY body is always tight and stiff. I feel like I will not be able to forge a future without my beloved Mama. I am a very positive and deeply spiritual woman so this new dark is so tough. I do see a grief counselor and I think I am grieving well. I just wanted to hear from others that are past their first year. I feel pretty alone in all this so any words are welcome. thank you all..hugs

[kayc]

I'm sorry you lost your mom, mine has been gone 1 1/2 years now too.  I'm glad you're seeing a grief counselor.  I think the depth of the relationship determines the depth of the loss, how much you were in each other's everyday lives, how close you were, as well as individual coping ability.  You are not alone here, there are several who have lost their moms and I'm sure they'll post soon.  In the meanwhile, you might want to read through some of the threads here.  There's a lot of "helps" on this site as well if you care to explore it.

[MartyT]

My dear, you are in good company here, as so many of us are mourning the death of our mothers right along with you. My own mother died many years ago, but that doesn't mean that I don't still miss her each and every day. 

Just so you know, people often find that the second year is harder than the first, since all that initial shock and numbness is gone. You might find this article helpful: Grief In The Second Year: Finding Your Way. (Take a look at some of the articles listed at the base, too.)

[Charitylaurel]

Thank you both....I was/am so connected to my Mama. She was everything to me....my grief is as deep as it gets....hugs

[Charitylaurel]

I am so sorry for your loss KayC and MartyT....our Mama's are forever in our hearts...

[Mom's angel]

I'm not yet at the first year mark but time just doesn't matter, sometimes it feels like all the things happened yesterday and sometimes it feels as if like it has been decades from the last time we saw them.

I thought I won't even  be able to spend 4-5 days without my mother but at this moment so many days have gone by without her.

It's good that you're seeing a grief counsellor, I still can't find one, just constantly revolving around my grief and my notes.

Just as kayc said " the depth of relationship determines the depth of the loss."

Marty suggests great articles.

And yes, mothers are forever in their children's heart.

 

Mom's angel..