Everyone else is moving on

[Guest]

Seven weeks.Its been seven weeks since my mom passed away,and everyone else is moving on.I don't sleep,force myself to eat,and have nobody that I can talk to anymore about my mom.If I post something online,it is not acknowledged by anyone I know anymore.I was the closest person to her,with the least amount of support.I just want the pain to go away,to get back to some semblance of "normal",whatever that is.The only person who could ever make sense of anything for me,is gone.Why can't I be like everyone else?.

[Widowedbysuicide]

You can't be like everyone else because you have a huge heart and because you had a great relationship with your mom.

None of us really know what is going on in the minds and hearts of other people without being told by those people.  Many people see me and have no clue that six months ago my husband killed himself.  Those that do know and think they know me well, they don't have a clue either.  Some of us hide our grief very well in public, it is a different story when we are alone though.

You don't need to compare your feelings and behaviours with how others act.  You are what and who you are and the best thing you can do is to be yourself.  Most of the people I know and have associated with haven't bothered to call me or post on my FB comments.  Maybe they don't know how to deal with how they think we might be.  While on this grief journey we all need people who understand what we are going through.  You will find that here.  If you need more try contacting someone for counselling.

I am sorry that you are feeling so badly and you have lost your mom.  I'm glad you are doing your best to care for yourself with eating and being aware of your lack of sleep.  When you know these things you can find help to do something to improve it.  Look after yourself.  

Marita

[Guest]

I am so sorry about your husband.We have lost two people in my family to suicide..my grandmother when I was ten,and a second cousin,who was just 42 when he passed.When mom was sick in hospital,I asked her what she did when my grandma passed.She said she got mad.I think that's the only way she could get through the pain of not being able to help her in the end.You are right in that people don't know what to say or do.Im sorry that you've  had people do similar things.You sound like a very strong person.Thank you for taking the time to respond to me

[kayc]

Kristin,

I'm sorry you don't have support, that's all too common.  It's also possible people on FB don't see your comments, it seems rather random what we see and what we don't.  If you want a response from someone, I would try contacting them directly rather than through FB.  

[Widowedbysuicide]

 

Just thinking of you today and hoping you are feeling better.

[Guest]

Right at this moment,I'm ok.I managed to do some much needed grocery shopping and a couple of other things.Bought my youngest child the shirt that he will wear to my mom's burial on July fifth(she was cremated and we have family coming from the U.S,I'm in Canada),and I made the arrangements to be buried with her when it's my time.Neither of us had spouses anymore,so that's what we spoke about in the past.How are you doing?.Thank you so much for caring:).

[Widowedbysuicide]

Hi,

I'm muddling along.  The last few days have been ok.

I'm in BC on Vancouver Island.   We have had some hot dry weather so with the rain I think that has helped me.  I'm not very good with heat.

I have my Dad's ashes and my husband's in my bedroom.  Dad has been gone 13 years.  I was hoping to take his ashes to Scotland where he was born but I don't think that will be possible now.  I'm not sure what I'm going to do with my husband's.  I'm thinking about mixing some of their ashes together to put in the locket that has some of myDad's whiskers and a hair from my horse's mane.  

Im sorry you are going through all this grief.  I will keep you in my thoughts.

Marita

[kayc]

Take your time deciding.  It took me two years to spread my husband's ashes, and that was before I'd heard of them making diamonds out of ashes, I would have had something made out of part of them if I'd known, but now it's too late.  I do still have the box they were in, so there's probably still some dust from them in it, I don't think I washed it out.