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I couldn't find the exact story you were talking about. Just alot about peoples theories on the weight of the brain before and after someone dies. I did look up more on this by goggling it and found a few things. I found different takes on it. Some that have experienced it and feels that it was their loved ones spirits that have passed through their body and others that believe it has a scientific explanation like the brain just coping with the overwhelming situation that just happened. While this makes total sense and I'm sure you could come up with some studies on this that claim certain things that support there theory their is no 100% proof that this is what is happening. So what this means is this is just a theory in the end. Just the same as this being explained as the spirit leaving the body and going through a loved one. So the spirit leaving the body is just as viable an explanation as the scientific explanation. It may be argued that certain activity happens in the brain when someones loved one dies but there is so little really known about the brain so who knows what this brain activity really is. As far as proving the feeling the spirit running the body theory, how are you going to prove that? Well the same goes for disproving it! I'm more of a person that looks for scientific explanations for things but after looking for absolute evidence of scientific explanations for things like this I find all kinds of holes. It could be said that people that believe this is the soul leaving the body and entering the loved one is just someone telling themselves what they want to believe. Well when you have no solid evidence otherwise isn't that exactly what the so called scientific explanation is? Since my Mom passed I've rethought alot of things and have opened my mind more. If there is solid evidence to disprove things like this and other spiritual things than I'll believe it but if not then my mind is also open to other explanations. It doesn't mean I necessarily 100% believe in the alternate explanation but just I'm keeping that possibility open until proven otherwise. As far as what happened to me I choose to believe that it was my mother that passed through me. It would make sense because of the close relationship I had with my mom. Yes partially I choose to believe this because it makes me feel better but what if I choose to believe otherwise when in reality it actually was my mothers energy running through my body? What a loss that would be!

Thanks alot loulou! I'm going to go look that up now!

Thanks for the reply Susan and Marty! My Mom and I have talked many times about how I may have sleep apnea when she was here and she told me to mention it to my doctor. My doctor just shrugged it off and didn't think I had sleep apnea but what does he base this on? I came in explaining that I wake up with headaches, feel tired alot, wake up multiple times each night and every once in awhile actually wake up feeling I may have gagged. He just suggest I exercise! Doesn't it make more sense to take the sleeping test to rule sleep apnea out? I'd like to find another doctor but I'm limited in my choices of who I can go to and I have no idea if the next guy is better then the next. Everyone I've talked to that have given me names of doctors I end up finding they are not in my network. Anyways it's an odd thing but maybe that was really my mom still there helping me out! I still feel close to her. I'm always talking to her. I don't know if she hears me but I'm always telling her about the days events and other things like that. Don't get me wrong I'm not yapping to her constantly all day but when something happens that I think she would love to hear about I tell her. I don't know if it's a denial thing but I don't think it is. I just feel like she is still with me in my heart and having these conversations seem to help me alot. Instead of feeling sad and depressed I talk out things with her or tell her some thing that we would both get a kick out of. Then although there is still some sadness mixed in I can smile and maybe even get a little laugh. Who knows maybe at certain times she might be there laughing with me. Miss you Mom! Anyways a little off subject but thanks for the responses back! Even though some people look at me like I'm a lunatic when I tell them what happened I'll stick with the thought of that was my mom helping me out! Thanks!

I'm so sorry to hear about you loosing your mother Kandy. I lost my mom about three months ago and I too was extremely close to her. I didn't have a last moment smile like you are describing but I did have something a day or so before she passed. She slipped into what I think was a comma in her last days. Her eyes were open but no response from her when we tried to communicate with her. My sister at one point closed her eyelids. I was alone in the room with her, standing by her and holding her hand. All the sudden she moved and opened her eyes. She saw me and a big huge smile came to her face. I just said " Hi Mom" and she looked so happy that I was there. I bent down next to her ear to tell her that I was there and if there was anything she wanted to let me know. When I got back up she was back into the coma or wherever she was before. She had that blank look in her eyes. I kind of wish I hadn't bent down and had kept eye contact with her longer but I'll always remember that last smile. She never came too again. Another thing that happened at the end is I actually told her that "She had fought hard enough and whenever she was ready to leave it would be ok" A couple hours later she passed away. When she passed my father and I were holding her hands. I all of the sudden felt a surge of energy that when from my arms all the way up through my head. I equated this to possibly my relief that she was not suffering anymore because it was similar to the sense of relief when something that was really bothering you is resolved. This was much more intense though! I went for one meeting with a grief counselor from hospice and she immediately said that what I felt was her energy leaving her body. Since I'm a skeptical person when it comes to these things I stuck with my first theory. Then I started to think about it and why couldn't it be what the counselor said? There is just as much a chance that this is the explanation as what I had told myself was the explanation. If this was what really happened than what an incredible thing it would be that I actually have felt my mothers energy as she left her body. It makes me feel even more closer to her than I already had been. So although I'll never be 100% sure if it was simply a sense of relief or actually feeling her energy I choose to believe it was her energy! Unfortunately I don't think anybody has an answer for sure to your question. My thinking is that it's just as likely that your mother actually smiled at you as any other theory anybody will give you so why not go with that? What if it really was a smile for you and your searching for another reason. Go ahead and accept it as a smile and cherish it as a special memory.

Ron I also find strength from my mom now. I've had a few instances where I wasn't sure what to do in a certain situation and I immediately thought of what my mother would have told me I should do. Somehow, even when I resisted and though she was totally off base, she would in the end be 100% right. As they say "Mothers always know". She is still with me,helping me become a better person!

Sorry to hear of your loss Susan! I'm going on 4 months without Mom now. This has been a tough journey so far. The rays of sunshine peak through every now and then but it gets cloudy again pretty quickly. Today was the most emotional day I have had so far since my Moms funeral. I don't really cry to often but today I got hit multiple times. Not sure exactly why but maybe it was just all built up. I have just come to the reality that these times will come to me for the rest of my life but as time goes by they will be less frequent. I try to cherish the little things that make me laugh or brings a smile to my face. When the grief comes up I just have to work through it as tough as it is. I try not to avoid it. As they say " one day at a time". I try to keep in mind that if I can make it through this horrible gloomy time there will still be rays of sunshine breaking through just ahead. Kind of corny but it keeps me moving forward. I've learned so far that there is no way around this horrible time in our lives. You just have to muster up the courage and strap yourself in for the ride. Even though it's a crappy ride that none of us ever wants to get onto.

After feeling pretty down things started to get a bit better this week. Of all things a series I used to watch made me laugh. I hadn't done that in awhile. I ended up ordering the dvd set. This gives me something to look forward to each night. Then this morning I woke up and felt pretty down. As I got up I looked outside and it was dreary out. I just felt pretty depressed. I then went to the pharmacy to pick up some medicine I needed and the lady behind the counter asked how my mother was doing. I told her and she was shocked and very saddened. Luckily this was when I was ringing out because I was about to loose it. I shed a couple tears when I got out into the car. It's something because I had visited my mothers grave and felt I had made some real progress with coming to terms with my moms death. I even told her I'll be alright. I do feel I'm making baby steps forward. I also realize that I'll have days that will be better then others and I have more hard days ahead of me. I guess for me I'm trying to suck in the good, or bearable, days for as much as they are worth. When the bad days come I'll just have to deal with them. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that although today is not a good day for me I saw some hope last week. Each laugh or good thing that happens along the way is one more glimmer of hope that things can and will get better in time. I hope tomorrow you'll find something that will bring a smile to your face and bring a little hope to you!

I'm usually pretty skeptical about things like this but this is pretty weird. I suspect that I may have sleep apnea. When my mom was here she said I would snore alot. I would end up waking up gagging and with headaches and things like that. The other night I was dreaming that I had our cat on my back and the cat sort of pushed my left shoulder. Then all the sudden I got a hard push which woke me up. When I woke up I was on my side and I had a headache. I also have allergies so my nasal passages where clogged solid. So there was no cat around and when I woke up I was curled up on my side so no cat was on my back. Again I'm a bit skeptical about this stuff but I have to say it does make me wonder if I wasn't breathing and my mom somehow was there and gave me a couple pushes. The second push felt very string and real. It was very strange!

So sorry to hear that your Aunt died at such a young age! I can't imagine what it must have been like for your Grandma. I don't have any kids but the only thing that I could imagine that would hurt more than losing my mom is to loss one of my kids. I would be blown away if I lost one of my nephews. I just don't know how parents get through a loss of a child. I'm glad you are keeping the memory of your Aunt alive and I for one don't think you are crazy. It's easy to dismiss things like you are talking about but who is to say that it isn't true. Hold onto what you believe and cherish it!

Thanks guys! Nothing much that can be done really. It's just one of those things that we all have to deal with one way or another. Just venting! Thanks alot for responding! Just knowing there are people out there that care is a great comfort!

I was sitting here in the living room at a time where I would usually be sitting and talking with my mom. I imagined for a few minutes what it would be like if my mom was still here. The pit in my stomach disappeared and the depressed feeling was gone. Of course unfortunately this is not the case so it came back again. It sucks to know the one thing that would make me feel better is never going to happen. I know things will get better but I don't think that same feeling I used to have and I imagined will ever be back again. That's kind of a sad thought to think about. I feel I'm a pretty strong person so I'll be able to deal with it but it doesn't change the fact that it sucks. I really wish I got married and had some kids when I was younger. I think it would help to have some kids to pour my love into but it's just me. I do have my dad here but it's just not the same. My mother and I just had a very tight bond!

Yea, that was getting me on the way home from the concert. The few times I would go to a show she would still be up when I got home. She would have to wait until I got home so I could help her go to bed but she stayed up till around 2 am each night anyways. I would also tell her about the show and gab a little. This time coming home and not having her there sucked.

I guess I'm in the bad days with less bad days and I've had about two ok days so far. I'm not a big crier but the lack of ambition and the depressed days really get exhausting. I imagine this gets more bearable as the ok days increase. It's kind of funny I forced myself to go out to a concert the other week. As I said I'm not really a crier so I don't cry much. A balled comes on and it starts to remind me of her. There I was, a guy at a hard rock concert and I'm trying not to cry. I know you should let yourself cry when it happens but there are certain places where for a guy it's just not the place. Being at a hard rock concert and crying when your watching the band is not the place. It was a good night except for the last song which kind of bummed me out. So anyways thanks and hopefully my ok days will increase pretty soon!

Well these weren't the life inspiring answers I was hoping for! lol Seriously though I guess it's a matter of just pushing on with a routine and doing things instead of sitting and doing nothing along with the reality that some days it's just not going to happen. I thought I was pretty good at handling life's challenges and I never thought this would be as hard as it is. I've had some hard things I've been through through my life but this has definitely been the hardest!

How long has it taken you to get your enthusiasm for doing things back? I've made improvements from feeling depressed all of the time to having what I call good days. This is just basically not feeling completely depressed. I still have to force myself to do things. The things that absolutely need to get done I get done but when it comes to things I would normally want to do I can't get enthusiastic about it. For example I play guitar and I try to sit down and play but I'm lucky if I can play for a half hour where I used to go for multiple hours before. I'm just not into doing it at all. I have forced myself to go out to shows or to the park and I don't really feel like being there at all. Most of the time I either sit and vedge on the tube or surf the net. I try to get myself to do things but it's such a chore. Even just taking a shower is a chore. I miss the feeling of being excited to do things or being excited because I just completed something. Even the things that would have me smiling ear to ear before my mom passed does absolutely nothing for me. I have no joy in my life anymore. Did it take awhile for at least a little bit of joy to creep back into your life?

I'm sort of in the same boat as you as far as not really sharing my grief. I do have my father here which was a help in the first couple of weeks but we don't really talk much about it now. My sisters don't really talk much about it at all either. Since I've been constantly taking care of my mom for the last 5 or 6 yrs I lost touch with any friends. So I pretty much grieve on my own. A support group would be a good idea but I have not got around to that. It think what has helped me alot is educating myself on grief. I have read a few books,read article online, read a bunch of post on this site and learned what I'm going through. Through alot of trial and error I have been trying to face my grief head on. I've made some mistakes like trying to force myself to cry, I had some problems with this, but I have learned to just face it head on and whether I feel like I have to tear up or I feel depressed I just go with it. I never know what tomorrow will bring as far as my mood with this all but I know that good days are ahead. There will be bad days but we are not doomed to every waking moment being bad ones. When I have these bad days I don't try to run away and distract myself. I run though whatever thoughts I have going on in my head and I guess as a sort of a reward I try to remember some happy thoughts of my mom which makes me laugh or smile. As a matter of fact I just came from my moms gravesite and I was down a bit and just coming on here and writing this has helped cheer me up a little. It's good to let it out even if it's just coming on here and posting. Everyone here is very supportive!

Hello 123 I do the same as niamh. I'm always talking with my mother. I have a picture in my bedroom so I say good morning and goodnight to her everyday and I got this dog tag locket with her picture in it with some stuff engraved on it. So I have my mother with me all the time. I'm always telling my mother about things or laughing about certain commercials or other things we used to enjoy together. Don't get me wrong I'm not walking around talking to my mother in front of everybody. It's my own private moments between my mother and myself. Is she there listening? I don't know for sure but it helps me keep connected to her and keeps her still in my life. Even if she is not there all the time I choose to believe she stops by once in awhile and hears what I'm saying to her. It doesn't take the pain away but it does help me get through some of these tough days. kawaiinicole people say stupid things. They either haven't experienced real loss themselves or if they did loose someone maybe they didn't experience full grief. A comment like what the person gave to you would make me a bit angry also. I was the 24 hr primary care person for my mother. One of the best things I've done in my life by the way. Anyways when talking about my mother this guy says " look at the silver lining, you have free time to do stuff for yourself now." I know he meant well but I think I would take my mother being here with me as opposed to having some free time for myself. The thing to keep in mind is to not take what people say to seriously. Especially online! Besides places like this were it is safe to let things out there are alot of places where people feel a need to attack others. These people get brave because they are not there in front of you to face you in person. In real life they would probably be to petrified to say a word to you. Pay no mind to these ignorant comments! Someday they will experience the same thing and realize how stupid their comments were. Again they are either just negative people that are not worth time inside your head or they are just people that just don't know what to say to you. Just let this stuff go in one ear and out the other.

I also lost my mother a little over two months ago. Like you she was everything to me. I was also there holding my moms hand when she passed. That was tough but I'm extremely happy I was there with her till the end. I couldn't stand the thought of her dieing alone. It's an up and down thing. I start thinking things are starting to look up and bam I get nailed with a couple real hard days. I talk a little with my father but my mother was the one I shared everything with. This board gives me and outlet to let loose some of my inner thoughts. I imagine we will always have bad days here and there but we are in the early stages and it will take time for the good days to outnumber the bad days. It's a very rough confusing time right now! I guess all we can do for now is hang onto the good days and focus on the good thoughts of our moms!

Sounds like she was a great woman and someone we should all strive to be like! Hope the day is filling with good thoughts and helps you get through today ok!

I haven't told anybody but I took some of the hairs from my mothers comb and put them in an envelope. It's kind of ironic. A few weeks before she passed her friend came over and cut her hair. There was a big chuck of hair on her shirt that I discovered later. When I went to throw it away my mother said joking around "don't you want to keep something that is part of your mother for when I'm gone?" I laughed and chucked it. I now wished I had kept it because it was a nice even chuck of hair instead of a ball of strands. It's ok though at least it's my mom's hair. Some may think this is strange but I don't really care what others think. This is for me!!! So no you are definitely not strange! Or maybe we all are but who cares!

I feel so bad for you! It must be tough. I unfortunately didn't have any kids and most likely won't because I'm getting a bit old to start a family but I would say to try to cherish your kids. My mother and I used to watch my nephews all the time so I do know how tiring it can be but maybe if you can think of some fun things you can do together it could help the both of you. As far at your husband it's not right that he makes comments like that. You should be able to grieve as much as you want to. He may just not understand. Has he lost a close loved one before? Maybe if you asked to sit down and have a talk with him. First think about everything you want to say to him and then explain how you feel asking him to try to help with the kids as much as he can and to please give you some time to grieve over you mother. Maybe you could even give him a couple articles on the process of grieving if you think he would read them. Basically asking for his support and telling him comments like the one he made really hurts you. Hopefully this may help! I hope this all works out for you!!!

Yea, whenever I have a student that does something funny I would come up after the lesson and tell my mom about it. Now I come up to a deafening quietness. It's going to really hurt when I have something serious that I need to discuss with someone. She was my mom, best friend and therapist wrapped up in one. So yes I also have those times when I forget but because this is new for me I imagine I'll have alot more as time goes by. I'm always telling my mom about things that happen to me in the day but I also wish I could just hear a response one more time!

My mom used to take breathing treatments and she had these little plastic containers about three inches long that had the medicine she had to use in it. We use to throw those things back and forth at each other all night long. It got so we would collect about 20 or more. We would call it our stash. We would warn each other to watch out or I'll break out the stash. Of course we would keep pushing on each other until the one with all the containers would attach with full force. It was so fun! Of course my dad would get mad because he would vacuum the living room and suck up the ones we didn't pick up. We would just look at each other a laugh! She used to joke all the time that when she died don't be surprised if I get woke up in the middle of the night from being bonked in the head by one of the plastic containers. When she passed I put one of the containers in the drawer of her coffin and told her "Throw away Mom!". If I do feel something hit my head sometime I'll know what it is!

I try to keep an open mind to things like this but I always try to look for a logical explanation. That is why I instantly went to the relief of her suffering explanation. I have to say though that I felt it halfway up my arm, to my chest area and onwards up through the top of my head. Sort of like a wave. I would like to think that since I was so close to her I was actually feeling her leaving and on the start of her journey. Sort of a last gift my mother gave to me! Thanks for sharing that Babypod!

Thanks Mary!