Kira

Laskew, what a horrendous story, and I am so sorry it happened to you! She was your rock, but believe me- you were hers too. You have every right to be angry, and your advocacy has actually done something to prevent it from happening to someone else. Don't ever believe that nothing good ever comes from something bad, because your passion for it washes that theory right down the drain. She is looking down at you (for lack of a better term, and depending on your beliefs)- and she is SO PROUD of you! My comment has to do with your addendum post. You say you had so much to say to her...so SAY it! Speak to her, because she is still with you in every ounce of your being, in your heart, in your head...and that will never change. You may not feel that she can hear, or that she is with you- but do it anyway- I swear it'll make you feel better. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you find the counselling you feel you need to get through this difficult stage. I hope you find some comfort here, where there are others like you who are in a great amount of pain and are not sure what to do next. I am also new here, and still on my journey through grief. I think that in some ways we will never recover, but we are very much alike- looking for fellowship, for others that feel the way we do- for peace. Keep sharing, please.

What happens when you bury grief? Or does it dig a grave of its own? Do you have to dig so deep, That in the process you lose your soul? Will it rest in peace, will it die a death As painful as it’s made you? And with its final dying breath Will peace finally come to you? What happens when you bury grief? …will it call you on the phone? In the voice of a friend, or the hand of a thief Will you deal with it all alone? Will it come back to haunt your dreams For as long as you shall live? Or will it finally rest in peace- Will it finally learn to give? What happens when you bury grief Does it simply disappear? Will it ever seem so brief That you hardly shed a tear? Feb 16, 2009 KIRA

Mary- I loved that. You are an amazing writer! I can't wait to share some thoughts with you and get to know you better. You should be proud.

Hello, everyone. I signed up a while back when I was struggling to get a grip after a small setback in my healing journey. My name is Kira and I became a widow when my husband Mark was killed in 1997. It was sudden, tragic and a very traumatic event. What made it worse, was I was living in a foreign country, away from my family and closest friends. Thankfully, my circle of friends there helped me along for a few days until my family could fly down to be with me. I thought I would never survive the loss of the love of my life. I was a mess. There is a lot more to the story, which I hope to share once I know some of you here, but I think the reason I have come to this forum is to help others know that they are not alone, and that in the face of tragic loss, sudden or otherwise, time really does heal, and I am living testimony to that. I am back in Canada now, working, writing, healing and finding my way to my "new normal". I hope that I can share your joy, pain, memories and loss. I hope that you will welcome me here to tell my story, and share my grief poetry and that I may make a few friends here that I can relate to. It is overwhelming to read these threads and see the different stages that you are all in. I have been through all of them. It brings back a lot of memories, and I hope that my posts will help some of you that are new to loss realize that some day you will look back on the early days of your grief and realize those days are gone...replaced by a renewed strength, will to live, to make your loved one proud, and to make a difference. Peace to you all, Kira

Hi Korki, I am new here, but I am not new to loss- there is nothing quite as gut-punching as a sudden death. One has to wonder why some are destined to leave this world before us. I hope that like me, you are reading some of the threads here, feeling your way, and able to find the strength that these next few days and weeks will take to get through. Hold on to those that you love, those that loved him and embrace your memories- they must be held dear- and your tributes to him will ease the passage of time. Every tear you cry is therapeutic and important right now. Don't be afraid to tell your loved ones how you feel, and in turn you will be able to grieve his passing together. Hold on, and be well. Kira.

What a beautiful poem. Are you still writing? Thank you for sharing it.