missing him

kayc, George was there with you and I am happy to hear that you became stronger and stand up for yourself now. Thank you for your support. Much needed.

Anthony - You and Celene look great together. What a lovely woman. I'm just forcing myself to go to work. That is all I can do How does one go on when they lost their best friend, soul mate, everything? This will be the most difficult thing for us all to go through. I listen to songs he sang to me and just break down and cry. I listen to them over and over again, constantly looking at his pictures and re-reading everything he wrote to me. I to know my baby would want me to be stronger, it just is so hard. Missing him is what hurts so much.

I am having such a hard time. Crying so much. It feels like it will never get better. So hard to get out of bed. I hope you continue to heal.

Thank you. Walking sounds like a great idea - wish I had the strength to do it. I will have to force myself. I hate how I feel every day, all day. I feel sick to my stomach all the time and my entire body aches. Maybe this is me going into a depression.

I have the exact feelings. I feel like I can't breath, my chest hurts, tingly sensations all over my back. I think what you are feeling is normal and it is how you are handling the loss of your Arthur. I don't think there is a right or wrong way to try and get through this horrible situation. People told me I would experience anger with my husband, I haven't (yet). I miss him too much to be angry with him because he is no longer here. Breath and take one day at a time.

amw - I belive it too. I guess I am being a little selfish because I want him all the time. I hope you have more signs from Jim. I appreciate all the support! My heart aches constantly so it is nice to know I can come here and talk to you and the others.

I needed to hear that - I'm crying (again). Thank you

Lina - I think those are such comforting signs for you. Today I had a yellow butterfly come to my car as I was turning down our street. I have never seen one before. This is so hard. I don't know how to keep going without him. He was my life. Today is 1 month exactly that he passed and it still feels like yesterday. I'm very sad today and everyday

Sorry about your loss. Lost mine on the 4th. Worse day of my life. I have his pictures all around me - every room I go to. I am always reading the letters, poems and cards he wrote me. I understand why you had to put the pictures away for awhile. Nothing wrong with that. I had 1 dream about him this past weekend and it was so comforting to see him again. Thank you for writing and you will be in my thoughts.

I thank you all for your advice and support. Means a lot to me. AMW - you are so right about the signs. I keep hearing a song on the radio and I know it is him. I wish it could be everyday that I get signs from him but know it can't be that way. I am being very hard on myself - all the "what if I did this or didn't do that". This is the worse thing in the world to go through and I know when people say it will get better, I don't know that it will be better, but it will be "different". I know he doesn't want me to hurt so sorely but it's like I can't control it. I am going to a grief counselor on next week and I hope this helps. I have looked around for support groups near me and most of them are in the mornings or when I'm at work. Disappointed about that. I talk to him all the time, tell him how I'm feeling and read cards to him that I am getting, but it just isn't the same as having him physically next to me. I will continue to talk to him. I miss him so much.

I lost my husband and the love of my life almost 1 month ago. It still feels like it just happened. He was only 40 and went in his sleep. He had COPD, high blood pressure and severe sleep apnea. We only had eachother. He was my life. He got laid off from his job and his health kept getting worse. He was in and out of the hospital since 2009. I was doing it all - working, taking care of him, the house, our dogs, taking him to doctor appointments, etc. He was such a good man. Would give his last dime to you if you needed it. He always made me laugh and knew what I was thinking. I have never experienced death before. This still hurts as bad as when it happened. I feel like I'm doing worse. I have no energy and my limbs feel like they weigh a ton. So difficult for me to get out of bed. Me going to work is all that I'm forcing myself to do and I don't even want to do that. All I want to do is stare at our pictures, re-read all his letters, cards and poems he wrote to me and cry. I want signs that he is still with me (spirtual/energy). I'm filled with such heartache and I don't know how to continue to go on without him. I love him so much!

amw: Thank you... This is the worst thing to go through. I don't know how to carry on w/o him. He was such a good man and always made me laugh. Me going to work is all that I'm forcing myself to do. (I don't even want to do that). We have 2 dogs - if it weren't for them, I would go insane. I just don't know how to cope with this. It hurts too much.

I know exactly how you feel. I lost the love of my life 3 weeks ago too. We just had eachother. Best friends. I can't stop crying. He went in his sleep. I have never experienced death before. This is the closest I have ever been and it is the worst feeling in the world. Nothing can take the pain away. I am learning that people just don't know what to say. I know those that love us do not want to see us hurting so much. I am looking for a grief counselor.