lorikelly

I did the memorial page for my Spanky. i have to load pictures of him on so everyone can see how handsome he was. thank you for sharing this site with me. Lori

Maylissa

My wonderful Spanky will be gone 1 yr on Sept 22, i will never forget that date. i lost my two best friends last summer my mom on july 3 and Spanky on Sept 22. I know my life has been forever changed. i think of my Spanky everyday and still can't believe he is not here with me.

I do have a new dog , Bentley he is 10 mos old and will be a yr in oct. the same month Spanky was born. i do love him but my heart says it will never be like Spanky, i don't think that will ever be replaced. i am happy we were able togive a home to another dog from a shelter and Bentley is treated like a king but my hearts yearns for my Spanky doodle ( i use to call him this and sing him a song, i hope you don't think i am crazy.). i just took in a foster kitten 3 weeks old that has to be bottled feed. i will have her til she is 8weeks and then go up for adoption. i have 5 of my own kitties. she is so sweet and part of me believes Spanky made sure i got her at this time to help me through the 1yr mark. call my nuts but i believe it.

Our furbabies live on forever in our hearts and even when i am 80 i will never forget him. My mom taught me this and i know she is smiling down on me happy that i am the person i am.

thanks for listening. Lori

Thanks for sharing . I think he is laughing very hard. Lori

I am so happy for you Shelley. You are wonderful person to take care of the animals and in turn they will be helping you. This will give you freedom and independence, keep me posted on how it goes. Lori

Shelley

I am so sorry about Brutus. it is so hard to see them suffer when all give is love. i have worked for a vet for almost 15 yrs and see this all the time. alot of times animals will seen to bounce back then only to get worse, it is all part of the dying process. just as some people seem to rally right before they die. it is hard since they can not speak for themselves and tell us how they feel. this is why we must not be selfish and think of them and when it is time to put them down humanely and will there loved ones around. i wish for Brutus a peaceful passing. Love Lori

I think it is normal to doubt our faith and be angry at God. i do that He know that and understands how we feel. I finally realized the times that i felt better were the times i gave it all over to Him and realized i can not do it alone. i say everyday, Lord help me to follow your way not Lori's way. it makes me smile now b/c for so long i wanted it my way, i wanted to control what happened and i realize i can't , i am not God. this is just my beliefs and i hope it helps you. Lori

I know for me the first 6-8months were some of my darkest. It really hit me around the 5th month which happened to be around Christmas. I remenber laying my head on the table christmas night saying i will never make it. i truely believed i could not go on. I did and each day seemed a tiny bit better. i still have really horrible days but know i am able to recognize them, deal with them and be able to push on. the other months i could not do that, i was just exsisting. i will be praying for you. Lori

Poco

I understand how you feel and you can always come to this site and tell us your feelings. We all understand.

I lost my mom in july 06 and understand how you are feeling. I also lost my family. We have not spoken since. i have 4 siblings and have no contact with them. They don't even really speak among themselves. I lost my mom and my family. it makes this grief journey so much harder. i realized , i can't do much about it , except pray. i pray for them everyday and ask God to help me deal with this. i had to give it over to Him b/c it was consuming me. i am now better able to deal with my feeling pertaining to them. I miss my mom everyday and still can't believe she is gone. Our moms were such a big part of our lives, they shaped who we are. i still have days when i feel totally lost, like what it this all about. I then have ok days where i feel like i can make it. i have come to realize that this is a roller coaster of a ride and i just hang on tight. i am happy for the good days and when i am feeling really low, i tell my self i can and will make it through.

Keep coming back we are all here for you. Lori

Teny

You are all in my thoughts and prayers. Please let us know how things are going. lori

I will be praying for you. These type of days makes us feel crummy, it makes me always think of what i don't have. I hope you can take time for just you today. My thoughts and prayers are with you . Lori

Walt

I think you have alot to offer all of us. I hope that you continue to read and post. Lori

I am so happy that you Derek and Kay still come back to this site. Also for all the other here b/c with out all of you, i might of not made it. it is so nice to see a post from someone who is longer on this journey then i, it gives me hope. THANK YOU to all of you , who have helped me. May God Bless each and everyone of you. Lori

Teny

Find a doctor that really listens. i found a wonderful one. he is my regular dr but he just let me cry and really listened. he asked me to tell him about my mom, what happened and how i felt. he kept a very close eye on me. when i could not eat , sleep or think. he said i really needed to try something. this had been 6 mos since my mom had died and i was in a black hole. i finally gave in b/c i had lost so much wt and my husband was scared. i tried the light antidepressant and it has helped greatly. i was terrified of going on one but i was seeing my therapist and she also agreed. i still go for therapy and see my priest for spiritual counseling. all of these things have helped me.

i will pray for you , i pray everynight for everyone on this site. i am going to ask God to give you the strength you need. I am here for you. Lori

My mom is gone 13 mos and i still some days don't believe it. the other day i was thinking about it and i had to say mom you dead b/c part of me somethimes tries to foul myself. i think if i don't say it then just maybe she will really still be here just in the hospital. it is the worst feeling.

for mothers day this yr ( it was the first without her) i found a card i had given her , i read it to her and then put it on top of her urn. it gave me some comfort and made me feel good that she had kept it.

i have learned that i do what ever i need to , to cope with this. somedays i say if i die when my mom did then it will be 40 yrs since i have seen her. crazy but that is the way i look at it.

take one moment at a time and be gentle with yourself. God Bless Lori

Erica

I was the same way. i was like a robut for so long just did what i had to do. it took so long to be albe to concentrate. i use to love to read Danielle Steele books and now i can't pick one up. i only read things about real life people, usually about surviving grief or crisis. i just finished reading Love It Mean It by 4 widows from the World Trade Center. i just do what i can. i am praying for you and you keep praying, He will get us all through. Lori

Thanks Kay for sharing. I am so glad that you decided to live. i know that you still love George and he will always love you. God Bless Kay. Lori

Annie

I am happy that the house closing is done. I am sorry about your dad. i know that this must be so hard for you. i believe he is peaceful and just getting ready to go. i had to believe that with my mom. i think our loved ones come to meet them and they want to get everything in order before they go. it may not make sense to us but for them it is comforting. i wish we knew the whole picture and knew what happens to us. For me this is where faith comes in and i just have to believe. God Bless Lori

Dawn

Thanks for sharing what you wrote about your mom. She raised a wonderful daughter and sounds like a great human being.

My mom is gone 13 mos and i still don't want to believe it. some days i lie in bed thinking this has to be all wrong. i want so bad to hear her voice but i know i can't. i talk to her everyday and pray that she is listening. i took care of my mom but i wish that i had listened and talked more. I wish that i didn't get mad at her at times. i have learned this is all normal but i have quilt about it. i hope and pray that she forgives me and loves me. i would just give anything to hear her say it's ok lori, i love you always. she did say she loved me the day she died but i so desperately want to hear it again.

i am sorry that i went on and on. i just want you to know that i understand how you feel.

lori

Thinking of you. Lori

I am so sorry but heart goes out to you. i will be praying for you. Lori

Teny

First i want to say that you should be proud of yourself that you made it 4 days. take each thing as a accomplishment. You went and tried and that is good in itself.

I also think for me the 5-7 month were horrible. i have come to realize that this will happen , the good and the bad. i just go with it , if i am sad i cry and i let it out. i still go for counseling and am in a support group which meets once a month, this also helps.

Remenber one moment at a time. Lori

I will try to ask the girl at work her boyfriend owns a realtor but every state may have different rules. i live in NJ. I think you should call the board who regulates Real Estate and ask them the ques. also pick a realtor not in your town and just call up and ask that ques. i don't think it can hurt.

i am sorry you have to go through this. i know how cruel people can be when they get gossip. Just hold you head up high and remenber your mom for who she was . we are all here for you. lori

Dawn

My mom passed in jul 06 and i miss her terribly. i can't believe she is gone. Your words said everything that i feel. i to was also my mom caregiver for 18 mos. i would give anything to hear her again. i knew mom was dying but never wanted to accept it. i thought if i never talked about it( she never wanted to) then it would go away. i thought she could pull through anything. how wrong i was, i wish i had said more, listened more and not be so terrified. i talk everyday to her and pray that she hears me. I love you mom forever.

thanks for sharing the pictures of your beautiful mom. Go ahead and cry i still cry everyday. Lori

I agree you never get over it , how can you when you love someone???? thanks Walt for sharing. Lori

Wow, thanks Marty for sharing. lori