Leann

Hi, everybody....

One thing that absolutely terrifies me is that, as the years go by, I'll forget what my Dad's presence feels like (does that make sense?). I won't let my brother change the answering machine at our farm because it has my Dad's voice on the message. I was wondering....what strategies are you all using to keep your folks close to you?

Hope you all have a good day.

Wishing you comfort and peace,

Leann

Hi, Shelly and Lori:

Thank you so much for your replies; I just logged on and read them. Evenings seem to be the worst time for me. My days and nights are all mixed up. When I can't sleep I get up and read or I journal. It is so nice to read your responses tonight....it's so nice to know someone doesn't think I'm losing my mind or that I should be starting to "get over it" by now.

My mother is still living and I know I'm driving her crazy. I call her about every evening just to hear her voice. I'm just so afraid of losing her now, too. And I know, in my head, that that day will come...but it doesn't help.

I was sitting out on my back step a few moments ago, crying to my Dad. I said to him, "I wish you were here so bad." Just as I said that, this one star suddenly started blinking brighter than all the others. It blinked three times this way. I'm pretty sure that was my Dad.

I'm looking forward to talking with you both some more.

Leann

Hi, LoriKelly:

I'm new to this group, so I appreciate the opportunity to join you. My Dad passed away unexpectedly on June 18th (Father's Day). Some days I miss him so much I can hardly breathe. We talked on a daily basis about everything. The other day I went to pick up the phone to call him; then I remembered.....

I was just over at the CVS pharmacy next door to my apartment building to pick up a prescription a few minutes ago. I happened to walk down the aisle where shaving items, etc. were. I happened to glance over and see the Old Spice products. I started to cry right there in the middle of the store; my Dad used Old Spice. I'm told this is normal; one minute you think you're doing ok, then the next minute the tears come crashing back over you. It is very confusing....

I'm very glad to know there's someone who feels much as I do right now. Hopefully, it will comfort you likewise to know that you're not alone.

Wishing you hope, comfort, and peace,

Leann

Well i thought i was having a couple of okay days, i only cried a couple of times and thought i was holding up ok. tonight i feel real sad, my 7 yr old told me i am doing good, he said you haven't cried in a couple of days mommy. i just miss my mom so much and i keep thinking i am going to forget her. i keep looking at the last picture of her with my son and i cry. i just wish i could talk to her one more time ( i know that this can't happen). i feel sad and sometimes i get afraid that if i don't think about her i will forget her. i just feel so alone and i look at her pray cards or her urn with her death date and can not believe it really says that, but i think if i don't look at it i won't accept that she is gone. sounds crazy doesn't it. i feel numb inside like i am not sure what to do next i feel like i am justing going through the steps and that i have to seem a little better to everyone or they will think something is wrong with me. i wish i could wake up and feel so much better, its scary waking up and not knowing how the day will be. i still can't play the radio in the car, i am not sure why but it bothers me. i wake up with such anxiety attacks that it makes me sick. i wake up to all those thoughts racing through my head. i pray that tomorrow will be a little better. thanks for always listening.

lori