mkroberts16

Its Bailey's Mom agian it is Wed 9/17 OK it has been a little over 2 weeks and some people thinkg I should be "OK" Well I am still over whelmed w/ grief Coming home is awful getting up in the morning is just as awful these are the 2 critical times Bailey needed me...Yes I have seen a grief counselor 2 X now but does it make it go away NO. I still can't sleep thru' the night, as I listen for Bailey stirring..etc I am still so sad w/o her presence.....I get sick to my stomach when I think about handing her over to the ER vet tech. and saying goodbye Did I do the right thing??? too late?? too soon?????? OMG I am so unsettled in grief.

Thank you...tonite is really difficult as is all others in these last 2 weeks....I can't imagine going on w/o her....she was so much of my life oh bringing home ashes on Sat was awful.....I went thru the same thing w/ my husband's ashes only it took me 5 years to disperse his ashes....and people thought there was something wrong w/ me for waiting so long.... Thank you for your thoughts....it helps to know there are some who understand.....

I have so many pictures of Ms. Bailey, I could indeed do somehitng like that......I'd like to write about her and our lives together. Her breeder sent me a message the other day saying"I'm so glad she got to share her life with you!".... Coming home and waking up in the am is still the worst...2 times of the day, I was dedicated to her...and her needs during the week and of course, listening at night to see if she was ok............. Today is 2 weeks OMG can't believe. I'm not accepting this, I guess........ Thank you all.....for helping me get through this day by day

Ya know..I can't just get past the fact Bailey is not in the apt.. in the kitchen it's awful....I see her everywhere here the mornings are the worst when I would get up and go to her immediately to take her out..make sure she was ok and then feed her and give her meds. And cuddle her and kiss her before I lift for work and say a prayer over her..... Oh God this is so hurtful

Thank you for caring so much......I have have a lot of mourning / grief to cope w/ in my life...and this one is among the most difficult but you know, when my husband died suddenly, I was only 31 and it took me 5 years to totally clean out his clothes and scatter his ashes...........people could not believe me..they called my crazy..... I am a sentimental softie and this stuff is not hard wired in my brain or heart..... I am a little bit hopeful my breeder will find me a little girl on the 9/27 weekend maybe by the holidays I will have a new "someone" even tho' the holidays will be difficult. Bailey had her own little tree w/ the appropriate ornaments and of course an custom made stocking which is still hanging. I vowed last year to keep it up for her!!! I am going away for the first time in ages to visit some friends in VA for 3 days....I got 97.00 R/T flights and said...I need to go I was always home to care for and be here for Ms. Bailey..my vet said take a little break before bringing home a new girl so this is my "break", I guess Oh God.....pleas esay alittel prayer for me and Bailey...

Thank you all....today is very difficult home all day trying to do things...but can't still have Bailey's things in the kitchen I can't bear to move them..... You know, I have a lovely portrait of her in the living room done a few years ago and I can look at it now..but I can't move her stuff from the kitchen. I would never tell someone going thru' this" what to do"...I would love them and accept where they are.....maybe a GENTLE suggestion.....but strong opinions...no....I would let them know they are "OK" Marty, you are correct that's how I feel about the breed.....I know it, I love it...sure..maybe a rescue may meet me at the right time and spot and all will change but I have to have a plan and that's my plan. I need something to hang onto right now!

I never had children...so my pet was many many things to me.......NO one never stops mourning just as I think about my husband whose birthday would be Oct 3.....and I will cry and talk to him..or my sweet Mom...... I was talking w/ someone and they are not happy that I would want another Border Terrier. They think I should get a rescue. Which is fine...but it's my choice and right now that's what I want....I don't take vacations, I don't drive a fancy car,,,and I no longer own a home so with my money, I wish to find another BT breed. Well, they went on and on w/ me about cost.....etc..... Some people always buy a Cadillac...or BMW or whatever.....so I choose to bring another BT into my life... Today is hard..tomorrow is 2 weeks...can't believe it Yes perhaps having her ashes home with me will give me some solice eventually she's safe w/ me...... OMG this is so difficult.....I keep having to leave my apt....because I see her everywhere!!!

Thank you. I miss her so much.

Thank you for your understanding and acceptance of where I am "coming from" My breeder here in CT is "working" on finding me a little girl to love..it may not happen right away She is attending a regional meeting next Sat and will ask her fellow-breeders about a little girl for me, or who might be "expecting" soon....It's the only answer for me, I believe. I love Bailey so much I am bursting at the seams w/ caring, nurturing and being "needed" I can't get another husband, or long-time boyfriend just like that..but I can find another special 4 legged friend to share and love with. Bailey and I had a very active life..we did almost everything together when I was not w/ the boyfriend......which I now realize, Bailey made me feel happier than he did. Today has been a tiring day I have had a headache and heartache all day...But I am somewhat more peaceful that Bailey is once again back home w/ me tonite..altho' in a different way....OMG

Thank you, Mary. I really appreciate your help. It is a heavy heavy weight on me everyday...because I catered to her every need, even while trying to work full time, etc. She is the center of my universe, because everyone else has left it. I have spoken several times w/ Bailey's breeder..she has only little boys right now...but is attending a large BT meeting in 2 weeks and will speak w/ her fellow-breeders about a little girl.....for me to love again Starting w/ a new pup is going to make some people think I am CRAZY at my age (60) but I think it's the only way for me...

This is Bailey's Mom again it is Sat 9/13. I just brought Bailey home again this morning. I picked up her urn. OMG I can't describe the saddness I feel it has been 12 days and I am still very devastated. My apt is so empty, even tho' I have a fairly new cat (resued 1 year ago) not having Ms. Bailey here is a huge void. I hate being home now. I have lost dogs in the past, but this time is the worst.

Ok so people think after 1 week all is good......The crematorium just called that I can bring Bailey home this Sat..OMG I get sick to my stomach whenever I enter my apt....or walk past where she slept I hope I gave her every chance she deserved...I could never live w/ myself if I ever short-changed her of anything Was I stupid thinking this one would be different?/ would live on and on???? Or is it just because I am now 16 years older, lost my husband 32 years ago and had a long term relationship w/ a boyfriend that ended last thanksgiving and now I realize I AM ALONE

It has been 1 week since Bailey left me. I am still very devastated. coming home is awful . I still think of Awful Labor Day that I brought her to the emergency hospital..never to have her at home again She was my whole life..I have no kids, family and broke up w/ a long-time boyfriend at Thanksgiving..so Bailey was my everything I put all my love, energy, and focus on her needs. I miss her so. We had so much fun together, she was by my side always. I hate this big hole.

Thank you. Marty. I am so torn right now. The breeder of Bailey told me to call her anytime I thought I was ready. Some of my aquaintances will say I am silly to do it yet again...others are saying GO FOR IT...... My life was lonely enough and now its even more lonely! OMG I don't want to hurt Bailey's memory or her huge comtribution to my life. It's only been 5 days...and it seems like an eternity already

Oh no I won't stop grief for Bailey but there is huge hole in my life altho' I also have a cat who came into my life about 1 year ago it's not the same as a dog.....because I have nothing else...yes..I work but .... I am too alone Bailey gave me reason to get up everyday,,take her out, walk,,,,,,etc..... Bailey came into my life soon after I lost another dog named Parsley. She also was 16. and back then my vet said...find someone soon and I did! I am still feeling awful about being at the emergency vet on Labor day and making that horrible decision. I thought I would die first.

Thank you! Yes she won a blue ribbon when she was 2 "Best in Show" but after that I never showed her...she was my companion We did everything together always she even came w/ me on business trips and stayed in the hotel and then in the office while I worked This is why I am so devastated on her loss......she was my world and I am sick i can't even feel comfortable in the apt where I took care of her these last 2 years when she really needed me. I can't fathom she is not here......... I am going to talk w/ a grief counselor Monday because I know I am so grief stricken...... In a way I want to go to the breeder tomorrow and get a new "Love".......... I am not doing well

This is my "Browne Beauty", Bailey. I had trouble posting this picture could not lake it bigger

Thanks for help w/ pic. I will try later As for this weekend, I am really worried it will be the worst She was like a "person" in my life,,,,,,,a sister,,a daughter she was always included in my plans....................

Good morning, I was unable to post a picture of Bailey....anyone tell me how? I am very upset as this will be the first weekend w/o Bailey I don't know what to do w/ myself she was my world..my daily schedule centered on her. When she was feeling better, we went everywhere together. I have been widowed for many years, with no children, or relatives left....I just went thru' a breakup of a long-time relationship, and Bailey helped me with that, too..so I am LOST I can bearly make it thru' 1 day at work. I think there is only 1 thing for me to do and that is open my heart up again to another someone to love and shower.... I am having a difficult time with having to oput a pet to sleep, altho' I have had to do it a couple time before in years past Oh this hurts so much

Her Name is Bailey. She is a Border Terrier I call her my Brown Beauty. (among many other loving terms)...she came into my life 16 years ago (after the loss of another terrier), We met at a breeder's farm about 1 hour from here. The breeder was going to keep her, after meeting me, they decided to let her live w/ me. Everyone who met Bailey said she is special!!! I remember when I first took her to my vet...he said "She's a real keeper!" I have stayed in touch w/ breeder this whole time. I spoke w/ her late Monday, after this happened. She said that Bailey and I had a wonderful 16 year love affair. And that I was a wonderful MOM. OMG I can't believe I am using past tense. I will return later on today,,will try for a photo insert

Thank you. I will post more about my sweetheart this evening after I return home. Some people are already asking me why I am grieving so strong and long. It's only been 3 days!!!!!

Thank you for your knid thoughts I am having a most difficult time with this loss that I had w/ other dogs She was a special creature. Yes I have some photos My vet says I am blessed to have had her share my life for many good years. It's a huge hole in my heart. I can't even make it thru' a full day at work this week.

On Labor Day 2014 I lost my sweet Border Terrier, who had been my constant companion for over 16 years. i am devastated and sick. Not knowing how to cope. thoughts??