Copperpot

Haha!!

Skyedoggers.. Its a great nickname. We called Chester a bunch of things, Cheddars being a favorite :-) Tonight I pulled out the kiddie pool that Chester used to love & set it up for (our new pup) Finn's first swim. It was pretty emotional. I remember just a few months ago having so many summer plans we were going to enjoy w/ Chester. I still feel this deep sorrow about how short his life was. Finn is so very different in every way and its confusing because we love his layed back, gentle nature, but we also desperately miss our wild man! Even so, it was fun to watch Finn romp around & remind us that there are still good times to come.

Thanks so much to everyone for the wonderful comments about Chester. Kayc - I love that name, Skyedoggers! He sounds like he was a real character too. ?? Carrie, it does really warm my heart that you & your family think about Chester )) Im glad to hear his antics can bring some smiles as I know you are all still grieving for Callie. Thats one of my favorite photos of Chester, he just looks so happy!

Chester used to love water. I remember taking him on his first swim. We all thought he would want to swim to us and then take a rest, but he would swim right past you and keep going and going. When he was a puppy he probably drank his body weight in pool water because he couldnt resist biting at his own splashes. We had a little baby pool he liked to romp around in to cool off during our long arizona summers. I still get a bit sad when I see it. I so miss how much fun he was! Always ready for anything.

I am so sorry for your loss. Its perfectly normal to feel all that you are feeling. Its going to take a while to process everything. I am still crying every day about the loss of our dear Chester. Even so, there are many times now that I can remember the good times and feel a bit of closure. I didnt think I ever would! You will too, in time. I also believe the Lord is caring for our loved pets and that we will see them again. It sounds like Malibu had an excellent family that adored him. Praying for peace & strength in this difficult time.

I completely understand what you mean when you say missing him keeps him closer. I have felt this so much over the past month or so. I want to heal, but healing means I have to move forward, without him. I had a recent dream about him & in the dream I knew he wasnt supposed to be there. But he kept coming to me, giving me Chester hugs. It was like he was saying goodbye. Weirdly enough, as painful as that was, its seemed to help me. Like he was giving me permission to let go a little. One day at a time right? Hang in there. (Hugs)

I love thinking about Spooky opening his heart to his people. ??

For a while Chester loved to hide in the closet. It only lasted a few months, but I used to love seeing his big face in there.

Yes, guilt is a part of the grieving process. I have struggled a lot with guilt. I felt guilty about not doing enough, or the right things to save Chester. Then I felt guilty about how I got so wrapped up in trying to get him diagnosed, I didnt spend enough time comforting him. Even though I spent every night up with him..I still feel guilty. I then felt guilty about not going to see him in the morning before they put him under anesthesia. Even though I couldnt have known he wouldnt wake up. Its just a big ball of guilt that I am trying to understand and move past. You will do the same. In time you will remember all the things you did for Spooky and not these percieved failures. Its overwhelming early on to accept that they are really gone. I have to assume it gets easier with time. I know I went through it once before with a my childhood dog, but it was a long time ago now. March through your day, even though it may feel like youre a zombie. Staying busy can be a wonderful salve and can help you embrace the change.

Looked up all those doxie colors, because I had no idea. What beautiful colors!

I agree, the more deeply you loved, the more deeply you grieve. It is the risk of loving I suppose.

Carrie, I cant believe you signed up for 1 doxie & got 3! How did that happen?? We also got our new little pup from san diego :-) I think we are quite set on keeping the ashes for now. He is in our room & it just feels really right. Having the little one around is a lot of fun, but may have brought some hurt to the surface.. I had a dream about Chester last night. In the dream I knew he wasnt supposed to be there and I was always checking to see if he was still there. I kept thinking, how can I keep him here? He came up to me & I was hugging him so tightly and at the same time telling my husband how much I missed him. When I woke up I cried for such a long time. Just felt like I lost him all over again. I prayed all morning about it. So glad I work from home today. I am a wreck!

I have had similiar reactions to my grief about the loss of my dog Chester. My parents, who adore dogs, are always surprised when I say I am still crying about him. When he passed someone actually said to me, "well, youre just back where you started". I know they didnt mean anything by it, they just didnt know what to say. We only had our Chester a couple of years, but he had become an enormous part of our lives. I work from home, so I spent more time with him than any human in my life. There are so many layers & levels to grief. I have lost people in my life, I have lost pets. This loss has been by far my hardest. Its been over a month and I still hurt every day. I do see some progress, but it is slow. Be patient with yourself, even if noone else is. You will absolutely find understanding on here ? This site has been so helpful to me (thank you everyone!) I have done a few things that seem to help as well. I made a memorial shadow box for him. My husband and I took his ashes to the beach (though we couldnt bring ourselves to scatter them), and I have been logging some memories about him on here, like an online journal. I also pray and ask our Lord for strength for me & everyone else currently hurting on here. While I am not 100% sure, I choose to believe He is looking after my Chester and all of our beloved pets. We are here to listen ?

Me & Chester ?

We are not 100% sure, but right now we are calling him Finn. We will see if it sticks. He is so sweet & very gentle by nature. We are really enjoying him! Chester is a particularly hard act to follow. His zest for life was unparalleled. Its Impossible to accept that something so bright could fade out so quickly. The ashes are both a comfort & a burden. He feels close when they are there, but thinking of him there, in a small box, sitting in deafening silence, is such a reminder of the big personality we are missing :-(

I have been stress eating since I lost Chester as well. I am very into fitness & usually fairly decent with my diet but I have a sweet tooth and if it is in the house I have little restraint. My husband, why is really struggling with this loss too, just keeps bringing home the best things! Its a tough balance like anything in life. Thanks for the support about the Chester memories :-) his personality seemed larger than life. It feels like such a shame that all of these incredible things about him should just fade away. So I feel a complusion to share..

Hi Mia, I know what it is to connect so deeply with a pet. For people that leave themselves open, they truly become a part of your daily happiness & identity. I know that you will get to a point of understanding about the loss. The excrutiating pain will ebb & flow. It is completely normal to feel like you cant go on. I can say I have felt that way at some point in the day every day since my dog passed. There are times I can remember him with happiness. We are here to listen in those moments when you feel overwhelmed. But you can also share the good times when/if you feel up to it. I have found some comfort in that. I hope you can find comfort here as well.

We did go to get our pup today. It was a long road trip & we are just now home. Its so very emotional and I have been questioning myself all day. Our pup could not be any more different than Chester. In some ways it makes me miss him even more. I wasnt even sure that was possible. I know this will be a blessing & he is a wonderful little dog. In so many ways Im just still so hung up on chester.. ? but I will try to embrace this new journey with strength and optimism.

I wish you could somehow skip over the pain part too. I wish I knew a way around it myself. We know what we believe, we have our resolve. But our emotions in the moment can cloud that clarity. I am glad you have support around you. Its so very important.

I am a bundle of nerves tonight. I am still in such grief about Chester. Nevertheless, my husband and I have decided to get another pup & we are picking him up tomorrow. We didnt make the decision easily & I know our motivation & the timing is right. But it still feels terribly bittersweet. We are going to take Chesters ashes with us and go to the beach. Since we promised him & never got around to it. I dont think we will scatter the ashes as we once thought though. I just cant let go of them yet. My emotions are all over the place about this trip. Taking him there this way and not being able to see him romp in the waves. Its already killing me.

Chester adored the car. He loved to hang out the window. We installed a special harness to make sure he was safe. He used to stand on the center console between my husband & I, looking out the front window with such joy & wonder. Every time I get in the car, I miss him so much I could scream. We still have his little smudgy noseprints on our back windows. I havent been able to clean them yet ?

I know what you mean about the prints. I never thought I would want ashes or a print. But we got both. It was terribly difficult to see the print. But it really is a beautiful clay print & has his name stamped in it. It makes me sad thinking of missing those big paws of his, but sometimes It feels nice to see it or even touch it. We thought for sure we would want to scatter his ashes. Now that we have him in our room with us, I cant even imagine scattering them. I hope you can find some small comfort when Callie is home. Maybe someday even in the paw prints. I am not completely aware of the other things your are facing with Jerrys health, but I will be praying for healing.

It is so sweet (terribly sad) but sweet how carefully you have handled every aspect with Callie. Even the cremation. I did not know anything about private cremation etc. we said our goodbyes to Chester & just left him there. I know exactly how you feel about forgiveness with the vets. I am still trying to get there with our vets & even with myself. I liked your words about grief, anger and fear being an evil trio that will mess with you for a while. Very well said. perfectly sums it up.

Carrie, I am so so sorry for all that you have gone through with all of this. You have done right by your doggie & I believe she is with Ashely & my Chester somewhere wonderful, chasing her laser light. The Lord is with you, he grieves with you. We are here for you, whenever you want to share. Many tears for you tonight ? I am praying!

Todays memory. Chester liked the West Wing ?