Copperpot

My heart literally aches for you. Those tender moments you shared in the hollow. Its enough to tear anyones heart to shreds. So, so many tearful prayers for you tonight..

Sometimes I can watch it with a bit of happiness in my heart, but usually, it does bring some tears. He was so unique, as they all are & I still cant believe I wont see him do another of these sideways leaps again (

Here is another Chester video. Its supposed to be in slo-mo, but i am not sure if that feature will work for everyone.. Its one of his famous leap catches ? trim.7B256015-BFA9-4FBF-95A4-079B63CA4CF4.MOV

I dont mind that facebook sends out thise old posts & I always love seeing my boys face. But it did throw me off guard. Just reminded me of how fast it all went. Its funny Marj that you should mention kissing his nose. He was actually the only dog of ours that would permit it

Today is 1 month to do the day since we lost our boy. I wish I could claim more growth & peace about what happened. But to be honest, my pain about it is still as raw as it was in the beginning. There is a feature on facebook that pulls up things you shared on this day in the past & puts them in your feed like a memory. Strangely enough today it was of Chester as a puppy with the most darling look of innocence on his face that I had posted a couple years ago. Of course we know he was rarely innocent, but always, always, always insanely cute. It was so bittersweet to see. Just a sharp reminder that he already gone, so soon. . I find myself grieving now for all of the life he will never have. Here is the photo that I had posted 2 yrs ago

I am so sorry to hear Callie had a rougher day. I know these treatments & the worry have to be wearing you all down. The rollercoaster can make you feel like you are going crazy. At least it does for me. I am so glad you still have the blessing of being able to hold her. These moments mean so much in the long run. Sending you healing prayers tonight..

What a truly gorgeous cat! I love photos, but videos can be even more special. They paint a more complete picture & help solidify our memories. I know that having my videos of Chester has made me feel that I can more completely remember him. All of his mannerisms etc. i get anxious about the thought that I would forget him..or those special things that made him so wonderful. Like your GB. Thanks for sharing. :-))

:-))) couple of super cutey boxed cats! Thanks for sharing that memory with us. Glad you found those photos too! Ive been so thankful for every photo/video I ever took of Chester. Also, a 20 year old kitty. Whoa!

I am not sure what to say, I have never faced what you & your family are facing w/ Callies continued care. I know it must be such an emotional drain, even if it is one you are more than willing to bear. It sounds like Callie is really lucky to be surrounded by so much love & support. I wish her & you guys as many happy, carefree moments as humanly possible!

Haha! They look like they are having so much fun! Gorgeous dogs :-)

Chesters loved my cousins boxer. It was pure chaos with them together. In a good way. ?

Ive decided, at least for now, to not pursue further exploration on the disease & everything involved. Just doing a bit more digging on my own made me extremely anxious & didnt give me any peace. I may change my mind though, doing a lot of that these days!

How is Callie doing?

Its crazy because I remember that moment like it was yesterday. I guess it was really not that long ago. Maybe a year and a half. He went through quite a digging phase. His coat at the time was really fluffy & soft. Still a puppy coat really. His fur became much more curly a little later. Oh how I miss everything about him!

I dont know if video works on here, but if it does, I thought Id share a funny Chester moment. We will see if this works.. trim.E2B0A527-A282-4927-9D43-ED852D12A60C.MOV

Chester was a smiler ?

i am having the toughest time moving past guilt/questioning right now. Sometimes I think Im almost obsessed. I am sure its worse today because i had my grandpas funeral this morning But I just still have so many questions about Chesters death. What caused the encephalitis? Was there anything we could have been more cautious about? I still dont know why it spread so fast, why there were no signs in his bloodwork, why he miraculously snapped out of it & presented almost no signs on our first visit to the neurologist. If his brain was swollen, why did it seem to get better sometimes when we would take him out and then he would decline rapidly at home? I look up things about encephalitis, but they just dont answer these questions. Do you think its important for me to know more about this disease & how it works..so that I can accept the series of events more? Just curious if that has been helpful to any of you. I feel like I dont have full story and its driving me batty. I cant get his "help me mom" face out of my mind. ?

Marj, i know what you mean about the little songs we sing to our pets. I have a song for each dog. My husband & I sort of come up with them. When I sing the Chester song, or try to, I fall apart. I do sing it sometimes though, just so I dont forget. Routines are such a part of a living things life, animal & human. its funny how you think your other pets will be able to fill in, but you still feel that huge void in the daily activities. My heart goes out to you tonight. I personally have a much tougher time at night :-(

:-) thanks guys, for sharing with me. That Ruby story is priceless (bad joke). Today I finally worked up the strength to delete the videos I had of Chester when he was sick. I took them for diagnosing purposes, but I havent been able to delete them. I guess since those were my last moments with him ? anyways I am going to try & focus in on these happy moments now. We will see how it goes. Here is a quick fun memory I have of Chester and how he used to sleep in these cute positions. He loved to put his feet up against something. Always made me laugh.

Ruby sounds like she would have been best friends with my Chester! Ive always been a poodle person myself. Grew up with them & I have two now. Even though Chester was 75% poodle, his personality was all golden, and who doesnt love a golden retriever? I remember being very smitten with my aunts Irish Setter when I was growing up. They are great dogs

It was another rollercoaster day. It feels good to be able to come back here and share another Chester memory with everyone. In a way, since his life was so short, individual memories seem to have extra importance. Maybe in some small way its helpful to think at least these memories will live on. I dont know. Todays memory. Chester loved to fetch. He didnt just love it, he lived for it. He would literally speak what sounded like semi words when he felt it was time for a throw. He was particular & loved bouncy rubbery balls. He didnt just chase the ball, he flew through the air. He did insane leaps. He loved to spin his body mid air, almost like a sideways flip. It was so crazy to watch. He wagged his tail every time he would give it back to you. We would throw until the level of saliva was "beard consuming". Then he would get a super sloppy drink & pass out on the floor, unable to keep his tongue in his mouth. It was a nightly ritual & one of things I miss so much, sometimes I can barely breathe. Even writing this was really rough, but I hope you all can appreciate the story anyways.

I have been on a serious negative note the past few days. So in an effort to try and lighten things up, here is a great memory I have about Chester. He used to LOVE to chase bunnies. He would wait in front of the door & his entire body would vibrate in anticipation. He was super fast, but they were always just a little faster he knew all their hiding spots. Even the one under our gas grill. He would search the entire yard every time he went out. Made a mess of my planting beds, but I really didnt mind. It was so fun to watch.

Oh my. Gorgeous doggies. Thank you for sharing those.

Thank you lady carrie, I know you know how I feel regarding a lack of closure. I am not sure I will ever feel completely right about what happened with Chester. I dont know why, but for some reason it was like the vets just couldnt see what I was seeing. Until he was completely unable to move, they just didnt take it seriously. I have these questions about whether it was the right choice to put him under anesthesia when his brain was that swollen. Was there other options? Could a spinal tap have provided some answers & been less risky?? I dont know that I will ever have these answers. All I am left with is that this beautiful dog, that so enriched our lives, is gone forever. It seems like nothing was done to save him. Its not a mistake I plan to ever repeat. Carrie, the things you learned from your previous pets has taught you how to better advocate & care for the one you are caring for now. May not seem like a win, but maybe it is what we are supposed to learn. Healing thoughts for Callie today

The care & concern you have shown for your cats is simply amazing. You are putting careful consideration into all of your actions, which is something I personally think a vet cannot always provide. We really know more about what is going on with our pets, because we are on the front lines every day. As you know what I went through with Chester, I understand completely that you need to feel that you have explored all options. I wish every day that we would have had the chance to help Chester and give him the full life he deserved. I am praying for strength, discernment and "peace that surpasses all understanding" during this agonizing time.