Andrè

MargM - you made me laugh now - but in a good way - I can really "hear" you - when you would srup iso syrup - lovely - when I talk English, a real Englishman will immediately know - our Afrikaans speaking people over here have a sort of "flat" pronunciation of certain words - I guess it also comes form the area where I grew up - My Margaret was very good in both languages - she could switch seamlessly between the two - she was a theatre sister in nursing (as we call them over here, when a registered and qualified nurse) and her study-material was 90% in English - I learned a lot too, because I "assisted" with her studies - those medical terms and language - when she and our daughter (also a registered - in ICU) talked about the happenings in their respective hospitals, I could listen for hours and hours - the stories they have to tell - I miss THAT so much!!! Anyway - thanks MargM - God bless, take care and be safe! Regards.

KayC - aaaaaaahhhh, thank you for THAT - but really, I'm no "master" at it - I just have a lot of patience in doing them and thrive on learnig new things - I'm never really happy with the result but somewhere I have to stop - actually THAT (and related stuff) is ALL I wish to do - I became a true procrastinator (now THAT is a nice English word - hahaha) - important things fall along the wayside - and it will land me in trouble one time or another - like my returns to our local Receiver Of Revenue (I think you call it the IRS in the US), I'm 2 years behind - but who cares? - as I said, I became a champion procrastinator - completely the opposite of who I was before. Thanks again KayC - much appreciated - take care and be safe! Reagrds.

BRAD - a part of my fabric indeed - a huuuuuge part - and wrapping myself in those memories is exactly what I do - many a day it carries me. Great to hear you also did the backpack thing - then you will know EXACTLY how it was for us too - whether it was our 120 km Naukluft hike in Namibia, for 8 days next to the Namib desert or if it was in the lush rain forests on our 5 day Outeniqua hike, they all were special - very special - we were so blessed to be able to do them together - it teaches one a lot - about yourself, about life and what really is wheat and what is chaff - you should've seen My Margaret in the mountains - an iron lady indeed - extreme toughness hidden under her beautiful outward appearance - she was pure iron!! Thanks Brad.

BRAD - thank you - I don't know about the "artistry" bit but I'll take it - thanks - I have photography and post processing the images as a hobby since 2002, but a "pro" I'm not - perhaps a wannabee though! My mother tongue is actually Afrikaans - but for some reason all Afrikaans speaking people over here are seen as "Boer" - "boer" is the Afrikaans word for farmer - I'm not farming but still I'm seen as one of the boers - our language has Dutch roots coming from the Netherlands - we have 11 (yes, 11) official languages in our country and Afrikaans being a so called minority group - so, when "talking" on the net, I do so in English the +/- universal language - I'm sure my English grammar and tenses give it away that English not my mother tongue - as long as I can make myself +/- understood, despite grammar errors. Anyway - you're correct - these images of mine, of all our hikes, I treasure and visit them all the time - we were sooooo blessed, to have one another and that we could do these hikes in our lovely country - so blessed - you can imagine how many stories and reference I have in my head - of all our adventures together - you will know I'm sure, that a lot of "things" happened and being encountered during our 62 long distance hikes - precious memories indeed. Thanks again Brad - take care and be safe!

Please allow me to share if I may: in April 2013 - My Margaret and I have done a 5 day hike (the world famous Otter hike in our beautiful country, South Africa) which, little did we know, was her final hike - on our way there (it is 1000 km from home), we've overnight at one of our favourite guest houses in a small town called Prince Albert at the foot of the Swartberg Mountain - this was on 22/4/13 - on her first birthday-date (9/7/14) after she passed (she passed away 7/2/14), I was again in this guesthouse - I went through the guest book and found this entry by My Margaret when we were there 22/4/13 - it was written in our home language - fully translated it says "Lovely, just wasn't here long enough - Andrè & Magriet Wheeler" - it immediately struck me that her words were prophetic indeed, without us knowing it at the time - yes, SHE wasn't here, in this earthly life of ours, long enough. I photographed the words in her own handwriting and can be seen on the composite image below. This means such a lot to me - and as I said - little did we know that 6 months later, she would be diagnosed with stage 4B cancer of the pancreas with mets to the liver - terminal - and 4 months on, her earthly journey would come to an end - My Margaret, my iron lady, my everything from us being ages 10 and 9 - I will carry her in my heart and love her, to my own last breath. Co-incidentally (or is it?) this was her FINAL hike - The Otter Hike - which was also her very FIRST in December 1991 - in between, we've done 60 long hikes - but the Otter was her first and also her last.

Thanks to ALL for the very kind words - much appreciated!!! Enna - yes, My Margaret surely loved the outdoors - we've done 62 long backpack hikes of 5 days + in our beautiful country - and could never get enough - that is where we found peace and true tranquility - we've experienced so much together - so many stories to tell - not a day went by in the 22 years we hiked, that we didn't reminisce over our experiences and memories - 90% of hikes we've done, was just the two of us - bliss!!! To a large extent, these memories now carries me - I will cherish them forever. Thanks again to all - take care and be safe!!

Marty: Thank you - for the kind words - much appreciated. I echo the wise words of Darcie Sims - indeed!!!! Thanks again and regards.

WolfsKat: Thank you - for the kind words and for clicking on the video - glad that it also meant something to you - peace to you too - and take care.

Marg M - thank you - I read a lot of your posts and can associate with all that you pen down - I don't listen to music or read poems that often but when I do, I listen or read with MyMargaret in mind - sometimes it helps me on this journey we're on and other times it brings tears and the longing for her, is killing me. I have so many questions, that cannot be answered - why her?, why not me?, why did she have to suffer the way she did? - after all, she was a nurse (registered - operating room) who for forty four years, helping patients who's in pain - she? - a legend in her working environment - why her? - why? why? The most painful tears aren't the ones from the eyes, but the ones coming from the heart - it takes over your whole body and soul. We were together since ages 10 and 9 - how can I say goodbye? - it just is not possible!! You not "looking forward to live that long" ? - I know the feeling - I from time to time feel exactly the same - and then I have this extreme feeling of guilt - because I promised My Margaret, that I will go on with living our dream, for us both - a promise I have not fulfilled yet! Thanks again Marg - take care!

Cookie: thank you - I cannot see that it will change - they will be with us, forever - and I will walk this path, for My Margaret and me - at least she was spared THIS journey - I will do it for us both. Say goodbye? - not possible - many times I heard people saying (not to me though) in certain situations "at least they had time to say goodbye" - well, we had 4 months since My Margaret's diagnoses and we just couldn't even THINK of "saying goodbye" - because THIS was not happening - now 26 months on, I still cannot say goodbye, I will not say goodbye and echo every word of that song - as well as the words in "Gone too Soon" - as I said, certain songs takes on a whole different meaning now - and become alive. Thanks again Cookie - take care and stay strong.

I read through some posts here - about triggers and grief-bursts - music specifically - when I listen to music the past 26 months, I discover that I listen with a different ear than before - certain songs have a much deeper meaning to me than previously - and those songs come alive - when it's THAT type of song, I immediately download it and make a short video, using it as background to images of My Margaret - like this one - I'm not sure where I heard it, it could even be here. Here is my little video, if I may share: Regards from South Africa Andrè

Thanks Kay - truly appreciate it - yes, the song's lyrics just take on another, much deeper meaning - when it is listened to by someone who lost so much!! Thanks again - for listening - and the kind words. Regards from South Africa!

Thanks a million Marty - thank you, thank you and thank you - and - I still cannot say goodbye - as a song says "i will laugh, i will cry, shake my fist at the sky - but i will not say, will not say goodbye!!"

Thanks Enna - appreciated. All pics from our many long distance hikes - a huge part of our lives - what memories I have - a treasure indeed. Thanks again.

Thanks Marg - appreciated - my thoughts exactly!

Thank you Gin - appreciated - YES indeed, they ALL were gone too soon - too soon!!!!

Just more than 2 years now - feels like yesterday and YET, it feels like VERY long ago! My Margaret - how I miss her!

Thank you for the visit and kind comments - much appreciated!! Regards from South Africa

kayc - thanks - for your visit and kind comments - and also the good wishes - much appreciated.

Interesting to read what is said by each individual above - it shows that there is not a "right" or a "wrong" here - different strokes, for different folks thus. My Margaret and me, were at our happiest and felt most "alive": when we were on a long hike (anything between 100 and 300km) of 5 days or longer - in our beloved mountains or even in deserts - where our company was each other only, and then the forests, the birds, the crystal clear streams, rivers or waterfalls - just the two of us - out there, we could be "ourselves" - away from the madding crowd. Nothing was better or nicer, than to just be with one another - and taking a break at one of the many magical spots, brewing a coffee on our small hiker's stove and just "be" - telling one another how blessed we were - about these hikes, we were like children who's looking forward to see the ocean for the first time in their lives - looking forward to all of our hikes, like children - we always said, if we do something or plan to do it and we are not excited like children, then we ought to stop doing it - blessed to say that through all our 22 years of hiking, we were like children about it - and that is what the quietness and solitude gave us - total bliss and serenity!! So - if you long for the same as what we had, out there - think about doing hikes - but looooong hikes - it will change your life - promise!! Below I would like to share (if I may) just two of the countless spots we've came across on our hikes - when I look at them, I can still hear the hissing of the small stove and smelling the coffee - the feeling of peace is total - TOTAL! - and the feeling that "all is well in this world of ours" - far, very far, from the madding crowds. You will discover a different YOU - for real! I'm thinking of you all - you're not alone! PS: I am, God willing - leaving next Saturday (29/8), travelling +/- 1 000km, to do a 101km hike over 5 days - in our beautiful Overberg region - without My Margaret, it can never again be the same for me - BUT - I promised her - I'm doing it for both of us and she will be with me in spirit - edging and encouraging me on - especially on the difficult sections - c'mon you're doing well Andrè Wheeler (as she called me a lot), just keep going and enjoy!

Thank you all so much, for the visit and kind words - appreciated!!!

Just a little story, I wish to share - if I may: Here 2 earlier photos – of My Margaret and me, just to share. Technically the images are not so good (scans), but it’s the 2 BEST images I have – because of it being priceless – I don’t mind it being technically not so good. These 2 shots were taken by our friend Izak – who has done the Otter Hike with us – with an old film camera (couldn’t afford digital at the time – too expensive) - anyway: It was My Margaret’s very first hike (December 1991) – the very famous “Otter”. I was a young 41 and she a youthful 40! It was day 2 of the 5 hike – about mid-morning, one cross the Elandsbos river – it is +/- at the mouth into the ocean – the tides thus move in and out, affecting the river’s depth and flow – you cannot just cross anywhere – where the narrowest, is usually best. We decided to cross at this very narrow section because it will be “EASY” – after a while, oooing and aaahing about the beauty all around us, it was time to cross – very narrow section, but still one cannot just jump over – still have to take off the boots and wade through. I told Margaret (all proud and brave) – today you are doing this crossing without taking off your boots – OK and how would I do THAT?, she asked – say I: “ I take of MY boots, take our 2 backpacks to the other side, I come back and CARRY you over and it’s not so deep – eazy peazy – that will be a treat yes, she said. Our two backpacks already on the other side, can be seen in the shots. OK – she got on my back and I started the “crossing” – with every step, I (we) sank in deeper, because of the soft sand – laughing like children, while sinking in deeper – we were about a meter from the other side, when I sank in to above my knees – stuck – uncontrollable laughing – Margaret tried to straighten her legs, to avoid the boots getting under the water – I cannot move – to deep now – but she hangs on, literally - and kept on laughing – what now? – the only option was for to fall forward – with her still clinging on my back – we fell bodies half in the water and half on the drier bank – we laughed so hard, that tears were running. I crawled out from underneath her and she was half in the water and half on the drier sand – just kept on laughing, couldn’t get up! Izak wasn’t sure whether he must keep on laughing or what, but he kept his cool and took these 2 shots – unfortunately it was the last 2 frames on his film, otherwise we could also see how Margaret got up and out – on the opposite side, I’m doing a sort of reel-dance while Margaret is still in the water – soaking wet – clothes and boots – convulsed with laughter! – after a while, she “allowed” me to help her. Needless to say – she never wanted to “allow” me to carry her across and stream or river – talked about it a lot, for years and just laughed again. Now, 24 years later, when I close my eyes – I can still feel her clinging on by back - hear us laughing, I smell the ocean – I feel the wetness of the water on our skins and clothes – ALL of it – like YESTERDAY!

Thank you Karen, thank you Kayc - what a beautiful waterfall that is - reminds me of the many waterfalls we encounter on our Amatole Hike - there is just "something" about waterfalls, not so? - I can stare at them, for hours on end - soothing, calming, healing! The little "story" about Margaret's message/note on the image I posted above: Translated it means: 22/3/13. Lovely, Just wasn't here long enough. Andrè & Magriet Wheeler. Last year (2014) on 9 July, I (and our daughter Karen) went to a little place called Prince Albert for 3 days - 900km away from home - this day was My Margaret's birthday date and I just wanted to be at a place which we came to love so much - anyhow, when we arrived at the cottage which My Margaret and me used a couple of times, Karen asked me whether mom has perhaps written something in the guest book - I told her to have a look at +/- the last part of 3/13, because that is the last date that we were here, en-route to hiking the Otter Hike (which came to be My Margaret's final hike, without us knowing it at the time) - Karen then had a look and found the entry, which I immediately photographed - the "lovely" she wrote, obviously refers to the cottage itself - BUT the message to me, became prophetic words - written by Margaret herself - that LIFE was lovely and SHE not being here (in life) long enough - indeed prophetic and true!!! - to others these are merely "words" but to me? - priceless! - 6 months later, she was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer and 4 months on (7/2/14), she reached the end of her earthly journey. Since her passing, I came across several such (at the time) small, everyday things, that now became BIG for me and priceless - like a 30 second voice recording of hers - when I discovered THAT, it felt as if she's next to me and being "home" - I'm listening to it about everyday since - a bit later on, I found another HOUR long recording, where she was the special guest on a local radio program, telling listeners what happens and what they can expect in an operating theatre (she was a registered OR sister), dispelling myths and general untruths - these voice recordings, I treasure. Thanks for "listening" to one of my many, many little stories.

The other night, I missed My Margaret soooo much (like all the other nights too) and made this little slide show - for that's the way I feel. I used some of our hiking pics and an appropriate song as background. I wish to share here - if I may. I'm not sure if the slideshow is viewing smooth - could be a bit "choppy" because our internet connection not so solid - if choppy, please let me know, I will then reload another day.

KayC - thank you - I already get the feeling that you are one (one of many?) of the much valued members of this group - and you know how to string your heartfelt words together - I thank you - appreciated. Another "climber" on the site? - that is great - although we (being backpack-hikers), are not "climbers" in the true sense - would be on the lookout then, for the climber. I'm busy preparing for another 101km walk in our Overberg mountains - starting off on 1 September - not a backpack though - just a super walk over 5 days - through yellow Canola fields, some whale watching en-route and then some. I would love to share some of our hiking stories or "adventures" with you all - just not sure WHERE - mostly under "Remembrances", I think? For instance - the above composite (sort of) image of My Margaret - you see the handwriting at the bottom? - it is HER'S - there's a story behind it - not a BIG story but a story nevertheless (BIG for me yes!). Thanks again and regards.