Marie Lee

Hi Annew .I feel.....we are all different...I have dined alone...not my fave thing to do...

I have gone out by myself, again, not my fave..

I think ....You will do what you need to do when you're ready :-)

Be kind to yourself, Hugs..Marie

Darrel, we love your posts...and guess what? We are all a mess...lol...thanks to this lovely journey of grief.

Gwen ...I like that YMMV...I will tuck that feather in my cap to remember...

George, I suffer the same malady...my own worst critic...

Kat, our security definitely grows weak...that's a good point. I already have some issues in that area...maybe this will help make me stronger..I think it may...because I am really NOT caring what other people think or say these days...They don't pay my bills and or live my life....

Kevin - that's a good idea to journal dreams...

Love to all, Marie

That's a lot of pressure AB....I hope you get some relief soon. A high pressured job and grief...take it easy...

People are....interesting ....hmm, maybe I don't want to move closer to people ...lol!!!

They say the darnedest things...

Hugs, Marie

Bless their hearts...right on, Marsha.... :-)

Gwen, you said it... I was trying to explain to my son the one million little things I have to do..alone...without my Rock ...my trusted partner...his wisdom, his love, his support is gone forever. All I have left are the memories...

To complicate things...my son and his family are staying with me...not always a walk in the park.

I hibernate in my room quite often. I am leaning towards letting them have the house at a very good deal...and relocate to a condo somewhere with activity, etc. I love the country ...but my whole life has changed...turned upside down...I guess this is a new book I am on. Rest and relaxation is a bit too much right now...now if I could just get a life ..lol!!!

Upside down today,Marie

It does help indeed..glad you had friends that came together for you.

Take care, Marie

43 minutes ago, kayc said:

You mention opinions...it's funny how you were a responsible adult, capable of making good decisions, then your husband died and all of a sudden everyone treats you like a nincompoop!  They are free with the advice, even though unasked for and even when they have zero clue about your situation and what you're going through.  I still get unwarranted advice even after all these years!

Right on Kay!

-Marie

Hi Dave, Hope your day is fairly good today.

Just thinking of you.

We are all playing out the scenes of grief in our lives and hearts....

Missing our other half ..living on different planes....

With much love for everyone as we partake in this lonely dance, Marie

Wow Janka...so powerful....thank you.

<3

Beautiful way to start a day...sad, poetic ...but beautiful.....I can just see Kev coming and dancing with me...

Thanks Janka,  Marie

Ps I must add.. My daughter went to Slovakia as a foreign exchange student in 2009.... It's very much a part of her heart.

She still stays in touch with her " family" from there :-)

I feel like a boat without a rudder.....lost. Drifting aimlessly, trying to find an anchor or a shore to land...belong...etc...

I have family, yes.

I have food, clothing and shelter, yes.

I have a few friends..I have so much...and I want to help others who are also hurting but I feel I don't have the energy...

I lost my love. My person. I came home to and shared the mundane daily little things with...

That cared and shared all with me...

It seems everyone has an opinion in my world on so many things in my life...Ugh, I just want to go back to our little haven and not care.....I never knew so many people had such strong opinions about things....

I ordered a dumpster to start cleaning the clutter ( the garage especially) and my daughter is upset I didn't give her time and she wants to be here ...I am like. Why? I am getting rid of stuff that should have been thrown away years ago...my late hubby was a bit of a hoarder and trained me not to throw away ..etc..I am working on breaking that cycle..

I am 50.. I think I know what to keep, Really?....? This is an issue?...

I go out on a date. It feels good for me to put on a nice outfit and shoes.,,makeup ...feel good, maybe even sexy...

That is such a big part of losing a love....feeling beautiful, adored, loved, all those things....

People think it's too soon. Well, what am I supposed to do while they move in with life? Sit in my rocking chair?

Off soap box..,trying to move on and get over the opinions, Marie

Hang in there AB.....I don't know how we do it, but, we somehow keep plugging away....

Enjoyed the music... Yes, music is a language we all understand...and can be a powerful tool. 

Humming a melody, Marie

So Lovely....

Clematis, I so agree...Kev was trying to get my attention with a turtle on our porch...not sure what the message was...I have thought he was trying to tell me to pay attention...as he often complained about my tunnel vision...not really sure though...

That big turtle was in our back porch...never before or since...we had a history with it though...and the dog  was barking...

I looked out, fully expecting our neighbor to be standing there...but no one was there...finally the dog drew my attention downward...and there was the turtle. He just looked at me and walked away. I thought, oh..,so you got my attention....but what is the message?

? Puzzled still, Marie

That is comforting...

Hi Marg, lol...I hear ya...thinking gets me into trouble!

Here's  to another bump in the road...Marie

Love it...Tks!

I don't have a particular day...but places we frequented are hard.

Yesterday I went to a golf course for a drink and nosh....the last time I went was with Kev...a place we went often ...as it was always a nice place to sit and enjoy a beautiful day...there is a lovely porch overlooking the greens..

So...a few drinks later...some texts to frds,fam about the craziness of life, I drove home rocking out to Def Leppard....and took a long hit bubble bath to drown my sorrows....

Still in this crazy grief train.... Marie

You got this Darrel, :-)

Its good for us all to take better care of ourselves...this grief experience can do some damage.

High five, Marie

Dear Dave, Oh my....How very sad....I am so sorry for her and for you...

I hope it gives a measure of comfort knowing y'all reconnected and found loving feelings still there.

I can't imagine how hard not knowing her date of death must be...what her last  days, moments were...

I pray for Peace and love for you at this time.

Welcome to our forum...it's a sad reality that draws us together ..

there is much love here. Perhaps a reminder for me to extend the same kind of unselfish love and acceptance to the people left in my life to share my journey...as we never really know when it will end for any of us.

Hugs, Marie

Marg, I understand your feelings. I won't post my " soap box" issues with religion in general....but suffice it to say, where are the shepherds taking care of, looking for, helping the " lost sheep"?

Too many big buildings and not enough love..human interaction....

Watched the bishops wife this Holiday...always a fave ..I mean, what's not to love with Cary Grant???

The message was just that...the bishop was so focused on the  big church they wanted to erect that he lost focus on his beautiful wife and family...

Coffee time, Marie

13 hours ago, iPraiseHim said:

13 hours ago, iPraiseHim said:

this area.  a scripture I read recently, said that I should enjoy my food, my work, family and friends and even a little wine (paraphrased).   I

 

Hi George....this is one of my faves...it reminds me that God wants me to enjoy the fruits of my labor and my family...what else is there? 

Thanks for your thoughtful comments.

Peace, Marie

Blessings are such a beautiful reminder!!!! Love it...keep positive!,,

Enjoying the prospect of a new day, Marie

I am not sure what I believe...I read once that we are spirit beings on a human journey ....that made sense to me...

The great unknown....I do think Kev sends me signs....I believe very much in God and am a Christian...the world is so complex...life is ornate....the universe is mysterious...the search and the pondering...do good and love I guess is really the point of it all.

I know Kev wants me to move on and enjoy life the best I can. I just don't know how...to do that....

Marie

Hang in there Darrel....Grief makes us all a bit quirky...or in my case quirky (Er)... Lol

You posts and comments are always thoughtful.

Still riding this crazy grief train.....Marie

My body knew today was seven months...I was so down and relived the morning of again and again...in my mind....

My breathing seemed to be harder as it did early in grief...

I had PT today so I had to get up and go this morning. I am thankful as I most likely would not have otherwise...

just scheduled a dumpster to clean out garage,..late hubby tended to hold onto everything...

Trying to move forward, even if it's just an inch of progress...

Cheers? Marie

Sending much love your way Joyce....

hugs, Marie