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Marie Lee

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Posts posted by Marie Lee

  8. Delayed guilt

    in Loss of a Spouse, Partner, or Significant Other

    Posted

    Dear Autumn....Sendung much love...

    Marge, I love your sense of humor....So, you gave Billy a 10?! Lol

    Yesterday, was my 10 month mark. I met up with a couple of ladies for a happy hour and then joined a meetup for karaoke...

    It was good to socialize...but, yesterday morning ..of course, all of the events that day were running through my mind...

    Had a nice meeting with a gentleman ten years my senior.p the other eve. He lost his wife in 2009..it was refreshing to speak with someone that could relate to my pain...and listening to his story...

    Well, as you said Autumn..love and cherish while you can...

     

    Hugs, Marie

    • Upvote 2

  9. Delayed guilt

    in Loss of a Spouse, Partner, or Significant Other

    Posted

    Hello everyone, There are days I wish I had gone in that  instead of Kev...there are days I wish I could join him...but, that's not the hand life has dealt me. After having a partner for 30 years, being alone leaves a  if void.

    But you all know all this....so...Big hug everyone...I am still trying to navigate this new life of mine...

    With love to all, Marie

    • Upvote 3

  11. Delayed guilt

    in Loss of a Spouse, Partner, or Significant Other

    Posted

    Embracing imperfections? Seeing the beauty in our scars? Maybe that's some of this awful journey?

    Sending a Big Hug ..Cookie...

    I am over here....Wondering what on earth I am doing, so glad I am not alone.....and have you all to share the ups and downs ....

    It might be beneficial to me if I could stop second guessing everything I do, say...etc...

    Time march on...Marie

    • Upvote 4

  15. Dating After the Loss of a Spouse

    in Loss of a Spouse, Partner, or Significant Other

    Posted

    I have dated and will date. The first person I dated, it was too soon for me..but it helped me through a dark time and we are very good friends now. I am going to counseling, mostly to heal wounds in me, not just the loss of Kev...but the things I have gone through in life. I want to become stronger emotionally to avoid the mistakes in the past and to live life as fully and richly as I can as a healthier human being.

    I read the article, I thought it was good. I am thinking, what is a relationship ? What am I looking for?

    I miss intimacy and companionship. I want to share the little things in life again with someone. Kev and I were in a good place in our marriage. We had forgiven each other and had grown from past mistakes, made some better choices,etc.

    Spending the rest of my years with Kev is no longer an option. That fateful day in June changes everything.

    He was and always will be the love of my youth. The father of my children. We grew up together, and made it for a 28.5 year journey of marriage..through the good and bad....

    Dating again after 30 years, has been interesting to say the least. I am still learning how to do this in the modern world, lol.

    I am taking it slow. I want to build a good foundation of friendship and companionship...I also wonder, as I get used to my independent living, do I have what it takes to be with someone else? We are not going to be younger, lol...

    I don't know the answers...but eating alone, vacationing alone and not having that human touch ...are things that motivate me to date again...most likely I will be in another long term relationship....not sure about marriage this go around...my needs are different  and I may want to keep some of my newfound independance...Time will tell.

    Good luck to us all on this journey, whatever our choices...

    Marie

     

    • Upvote 9

  24. Cha Cha changes....

    in Loss of a Spouse, Partner, or Significant Other

    Posted

    So everything has changed...Everything.....My life has take a 180 spin and now I go in an entirely new direction..All by myself.

    I am young, I am unsure whether to return to work...who knows..

    I did start a counseling session. It is for grief but also for some other things I have needed counseling for ...

    I am trying out a gym for a seven day free pass....might join up...it's nice to get out of the house and have many physical fitness options...

    I have invited friends and family for dinner...I am trying some meetup groups..

    I live in a rural area ..I am thinking that needs to change. I need activity close by.

    Yesterday was the nine month mark of the wreck and Kev's passing.. :-/

    I think I am accepting this now. He lives in my heart and I cherish the memories ...somehow I must move forward.. 

    I am not a Tree...

    I still have three of our pics together  beside my fave chair in the tv room...and I look at them often..

    I wish he were here ...so many decisions I have to make on my own now..

    In a couple of months, we will celebrate Evelyn's first birthday...our lovely granddaughter ..he said she was a petite little flower when he held her in his lumberjack arms....so tiny...I miss those strong arms...but that's nothing new...

    I have dated, it's awkward...I feel like I am making a mess of things....I overthink....maybe the counseling will help me with that..lol...

    How is everyone doing?

    Marie

     

    • Upvote 5
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