Mom died when I was 12, my brother was 18 months. It seemed that Dad died with her. He buried himself at work, he is very rarely home. At the time he IS home, he locks himself in the study and I was told not to bother him ever. The house staff took care of me and my brother. We had the toys we wanted, we never lacked anything or starved (except for his affection). Dad missed birthdays, Christmas, and everything. Oh there were gifts signed "from Dad" (probably picked out by his aides), but other than that nothing. Worse, Mom got put in a box: her photos are stashed away (except for some that I smuggled and hid in my room); her rings and necklaces are in a vault, her dresses and things were auctioned or donated. Dad forbade me from framing her picture and putting it among the family photos in the house. Five years later, nothing changed. Dad is still buried with work, but my brother and I grew up. I'm 18 now and he is 7. He is asking questions like "Does Dad love us? I assure my brother that Dad loves us, but he is sad about Mom's death, and work is his way of dealing with it. But my brother goes "If he does, why can't he tell the people in his office to work so that he can come home? He's the boss right." I have tried begging Dad to spend some time even with my brother only (personally begged and through his aides), but I got nowhere except getting an earful and being grounded. I understand that it hurts so much to lose someone you loved so deeply. I know my parents adored each other--my memories prove that. But I also wish that Dad won't shut us out anymore, or at least my brother. My childhood was rotten since Mom died but I don't want that for my brother. The only advice I get from adults is "Understand your father, losing his beloved wife is not easy." I don't know what to do anymore.
