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olemisfit

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About olemisfit

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    spouse
  • Date of Death
    1/1/2016
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    N/A

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Male
  • Location (city, state)
    Miami, Oklahoma USA

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  1. Robin, my sympathies go out to you. Like you, I also saw the butterflies---and other "signs". I don't get those visits from my Cookie nearly as often now, and I have no choice but to be okay with that. I know she is patiently waiting for me to join her in heaven. My faith tells me that we will one day be reunited for eternity, when my time to join her comes. I don't mean that to preach. We all have our beiiefs. My wife passed away on new years day of 2016, so I'm not too far ahead of you in my time alone. I still miss her every day. 2/3 of my life was spent with her being part of it (41 year
  2. Galveston Island and the Gulf of Mexico is only a 23 mile drive from my door!!!
  3. Thank you Dee and CairnLady for the nice thoughts! And yes I do a better piece of mind already. Actually, solace is the appropriate word CairnLady. But I have already been re-introduced to the allergy problems here. But that's a small price to pay for being back home. One foot in front of the other... Darrel
  4. I do hope everyone is doing well. I left Oklahoma on Easter Sunday. It is such a wonderful feeling to be back here. This is where we lived when Cookie passed, and our last few years of memories happened here. So all is well. I'm back where I need to be. The first chance I have to drive down to Galveston I take a selfie standing on the seawall with the ocean behind me and post it. Again, I hope everyone is well. One foot in front of the other... Darrel
  5. Thank you dear for your kind words. I'm sorry that your moves didn't work out well for you. You are right...we can't run away from ourselves. Later this month I will actually be moving back "home" (as in "home is where the heart is"). After I retired to be my wife's caregiver we moved from Okla. City to the Houston area, to get her to a milder winter climate. And because she loved being near the ocean. While she was still with me she loved it when I drove her down to Galveston island. I would park at her favorite place on Seawall Blvd. She loved to sit there and just watch the waves coming in
  6. Gil, I welcome you here but at the same time I know that here is not where you want to be. I'm so sorry that you lost your mate and now find yourself here. Congratulations to you for finding this forum. Like you I wandered around keeping everything bottled up during almost the entire first year without my wife. I took her off of life support on New Year's Day, 2016, and didn't find this group until Christmas Eve of that year. Looking back, I don't know how I made it through that first year without that proverbial shoulder to cry on. If you decide to become a regular here you will find tha
  7. I moved to this small town in northeastern Oklahoma from the Houston area shortly after hurricane Harvey wreaked its havoc there in Sept. 2017. My wife and I tried our luck with living there 2 different times. Both times we had to endure a hurricane. My wife wasn't here to "enjoy" Harvey. She had already passed, so I enjoyed Harvey by myself. I spent most of my life in Oklahoma and have never seen a tornado up close and personal. I now have an opportunity to transplant myself one last time in the Houston area. The same town I left after hurricane Harvey. League City, Texas, which is abou
  8. Hi Johnny. I like your pup. The bandanna is cute. I counted up one time that my wife and I were owned by 15 dogs over our years together. 13 of them were rescues. One that we shared our home with was a corgi/german shepherd mix. Try to imagine a german shepherd without legs! hehe I'm very sorry for what brought you to this group. I'm sure you are already finding that you have an inner strength that you never realized you had---and of course wish you didn't have to dredge up. It sucks though, right?! All my best to you, my friend. One foot in front of the other... Darrel
  9. I'm not real keen on that "PGD" label. I think most of us here were lucky enough to have a spouse that we were crazy about. And of course when we lost our anchor, it couldn't help but affect us the way it has. Grief is not a medical condition. There is no surgical procedure that will remove it. Nor is there a (legal) drug that can be taken 3 times a day until the disorder goes away. We aren't freaks of nature either. We are simply people who have lost our reason for being, and have been devastated by it. The fact that we get up each day and find a way to continue putting one foot in fron
  10. Thanks for the kind words. They always help. I think I can say that I don't get knocked off my feet by as many triggers these days, but the big ones still manage to broadside me. I see in your profile you are in central illinois. I was born in the metropolis of Centralia. Interesting bit of unimportant trivia---Illinois has a town named Metropolis. And yes I do have a pet. A rescue dog that we got in Dec. 2010. This wonderful little critter has kept me somewhat sane these past 3+ years. v One foot in front of the other... Darrel
  11. I haven't been able to sleep tonight. I stretched out on the bed about 10:30 and dozed for about 45 minutes or so and then gave up on sleeping. Too many sad thoughts on my mind I reckon. A tough trigger day to get through today. Cookie and I started our life together 44 years ago today. March 7, 1975 was the best and happiest day of my life. We were each other's soul mate in every sense of the word. Our love for each other only got better and stronger as the years went by. We never expected perfection out of each other, but we both were perfect in each other's eyes. I always felt so proud an
  12. Cookie and I used to enjoy watching the oscars but I haven't watched it in several years. They all lost me when they started turning it into their obnoxious political sideshow. All of those sorts of expositions are really only for themselves and their over inflated egos anyway. But I do wish I had me one of those tuxedo dresses to wear tomorrow when I go to McDonalds for breakfast. Man would that be a head-turner!
  13. All is as good as can be expected here. My days and routines don't deviate much. I just look for ways to keep myself occupied. My "triggers" have even fallen into a routine. They now seem to revolve around dates or events that were important to Cookie and I. The date of her death-my birthday-our anniversary-and her birthday. Our anniversary will hit soon (March 7th) and then I'll get a lull in it all until her birthday in August. We can all start thawing out soon. March will soon be here and winter will soon start to fade away. I was stationed at an air force base in North Dakota for 2 ye
  14. Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts. My next trigger is coming up on March 7th. Our 44th wedding anniv. I still look upon it as an ongoing thing. I still wear my wedding band. It hasn't been off my finger since she put it there in 1975. I will be cremated with it on if that is possible. She still owns my heart and always will. My love to everyone here. One foot in front of the other... Darrel
  15. 70 years old today. It doesn't seem possible. When we were kids our grandfather used to tell me and my sisters how much faster life leaves you behind as you get older. Being kids, we didn't really understand it. But it is so very true. I woke up this morning feeling sad. And for a silly reason. Cookie used to make me a scratch German chocolate cake each year as my birthday cake. Everything from scratch, even the icing. She would get an early start and spend an entire morning making that little piece of heaven. She only had one reason for doing it. She knew I would enjoy it. And did I eve
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