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Grief Healing Discussion Groups


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About Gwenivere

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 11/25/1955

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
  • Date of Death
    October 29, 2014
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Aegis Dementia Care, Seattle WA

Profile Information

  • Your gender
  • Location (city, state)
    Seattle, WA
  • Interests
    Nursing home volunteer. Reading. Dogs. Philosophy.

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5,436 profile views
  1. See? More examples of a whole different lifestyle. I thought The Help was an excellent movie and was appalled how those women were treated. In New Mexico I’m sure there were housekeepers, but it was Latino, not blacks. Such different times. I’ve noticed I repeat myself often too. I've noticed I repeat myself often too. 🤪
  2. I got a donated cookie at a church food program from one of the primo downtown restaurants. It’s chocolate chip and almost a meal itself. Broke it into 4 pieces for 4 desserts. If you’re an M&M addict like me, check out the fudge brownie new ones. They give my fav dark chocolate ones a run for the money. Love the caramel ones too. Wish they would do coconut, but I guess they’re too small for that.
  3. I’m always interested reading your families stories, Marg. You lived in a whole different world than I did. I was so young when a lot of my family's dramas were playing out. But I was involved in a few. One hiding an aunt from my abusive uncle. She got liquor delivered (she was an alcoholic like several of my relatives) somehow and was unresponsive one morning. Had to call 911 and my cousins back east. I was glad to get away from the drama. Only stayed in contact with the sane members of my relatives. Spent most of the afternoon on my insurance. It was like playing whack-a-mole.
  4. I wonder if I let my back go too long that anything will significantly help. Along with the regular pain he’ll, it feels like sciatica has kicked in too. over the counter and.CBD aren’t big guns enough in our situations. I know you were going to a sooner than later assessment. Did you get a possible surgery date? Back on the phone for me with insurance and RX messes. My rep couldn’t help at all. Haven’t heard from my shrink on new meds tho the logic of existing ones still eludes me. I’ve been doubled billed too. Customer service is a joke as it’s a different story every time. W
  5. Arg! This Medicare thing is consuming my life! Premera billed my credit card for a full payment and I have never paid them on that. It’s supposed to be from checking. Looking at that it is cancelled but the new rate for November is scheduled. So I’ve paid for both plans. Left numerous messages for my rep about what the heck is going on. Found out I have to get my shrink to send in new anxiety meds as they are 'controlled substances'. Being in worse pain I’m losing my mind with this. I went to Walgreens to pick up a partial RX and thought I might not make it. Doc is breathing down my
  6. Your words speak volumes. Especially about new old friends. So very true. Having run into new people since Steve died and my old friends disappeared, nothing has really stuck. They often have their own old friends already. I’m not an age that has much time to invest into a long standing history. We’d like to think new people will be close quickly, but that’s not how it works. I so miss the people that shared much of my life. I like meeting new people and learning about them. How deep that can go is iffy. I keep trying and that is about all we can do without getting obsessed about it.
  7. Lost my husband October of 2014. I understand how you feel. People outside this think it gets easier. It doesn’t. It actually feels harder the more time I have lost with him. A day that was normally celebrated is now a day to remind us of that life altering void that cannot be filled. My heart goes out to you. 💔
  8. I understand dreading December. I have the same Halloween thru January. The holidays plus our birthdays and anniversary and the date of his death. Unlike you, I am not even thinking of another person. There will never be one and that is an acceptance I knew from the start of this journey. I don’t know why you are more remembering the bad times. I think I remembered both and they all hurt. They still do now but I can talk about them more easily. I’m not screaming in the shower or crying myself to sleep much now. But I carry the weight of his absence every single moment. I have nothing
  9. Yes, they will. The cost is phenomenal. Even with a doctors note it’s still outrageous. They are changing to a different pharmacy in January,but that won’t affect their tier program. It might actually hurt more as my thyroid meds in this one are brand despite being labeled generic. It’s the antidepressant that comes in as over $300 a month. I miss our generator. It’s there but I don’t know how to get it going. Steve had a system with cords he would snake thru the house and kept it full of gas. I’d love to have something that switched on automatically to the most needed places.
  10. I spent 4 hours on the phone today trying to get my prescriptions ordered for 90 days while I have no copays til the end of the year. Had to use mail order to bypass all new orders. Found out my 2 name brand ones I will have to hope will work generic by the copays that will kick in in January. Also found out my insurance will be changing to another mail order one then. So many told me I would like Medicare. Maybe I made a mistake by picking my coinsurance. Now I have the mail order set up and can’t even think of talking to another company. I have a call into the rep who sold me this say
  11. Welcome, James, to the club no one wants to join. I’m so sorry for you loss. Everyone here will understand all you feel in your grief. I’m sorry you had to move and are so isolated. That can make things worse. This is a safe place to release your feelings and I hope that helps a bit. We are like a family and I hope you will feel that if you stay and get to know us. I don’t know much about autism. I do know how it feels to lose your 'job' as a caregiver. I was one for 5 years and for 5 years after feel very lost. I miss my best friend and love. I’ll never be OK again after the loss, s
  12. The rule of thumb is reputable sources do not call you. If anything you may get a letter. First they went after our computers. Now it’s SS and credit cards. SS never calls anyone. They only communicate by mail and you calling them. Wish everyone knew that. I found out my credit card was locked by my bank for fraud when I tried to use it one day. I had to call them. These scams are aimed at the 'elderly' assuming they don’t have wisdom. Unfortunately me fAll into the webs because they aren’t computer savvy about robocalls. i don’t have the motivation now, but Steve a
  13. It’s so very hard when a day that once was a joyful one becomes it’s exact opposite. Never did we think our anniversaries would be less that reason to celebrate another year with our best friend, whatever tradition or surprise it would be. It’s bad enough we have to add their date of leaving to our lives. I wish I knew one magic words that could help. 5 months is so close. Mine is 3 months after Steve left. A week before his birthday as well. I don’t remember what I did that first anniversary, but I’m sure it involved a lot of crying. Sometimes I go numb on those days and they hit me bef
  14. Times are so changed. IF I were looking to date it’s almost the only way to do it. What happened to meeting people thru work or friends? I’m talking younger ages obviously. Us older folk don’t have work outlets or a bunch of girlfriends to go out with to check out the guys. I’m going to count myself very fortunate to have gone thru that the old fashioned way. I met Steve in a bar where my roommate worked. Other guys at work, either coworkers or someone at a place we were installing a phone system. One was a roommates brother. I want to see the real deal. Feel that attraction.
  15. I’m so sorry, Tamera. You are still asking the questions there are no answers for. No one here or anywhere can predict what your path will be. At barely over 3 months, you are in the thick of it that consumes everything about your life now. Everything has changed and will never go back to what you once knew. I know you desperately want it to. Also what happens for one person may not for others. We share our experiences keeping in mind ours will be uniquely ours. We’ll find connection with some but not others. The benefit here is we can share anything and people respect and validate it
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