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Gwenivere

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About Gwenivere

  • Birthday 11/25/1955

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Wife
  • Date of Death
    October 29, 2014
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Aegis Dementia Care, Seattle WA

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Seattle, WA
  • Interests
    Nursing home volunteer. Reading. Dogs. Philosophy.

Recent Profile Visitors

23,521 profile views
  1. I am here. Going thru pain patch withdrawal and very messed up. Writing this is tremendously hard. Thank you for caring. Dee and I are not getting along either, worst ever.
  2. I’m Was a dark night here so opted to play a , here. I fell last night and did the ER tod at. Didn’t fracture anything. Onl good news.
  3. This sleep walking is getting out of control. It’s been happening with Eee for about 4 nights now. She’s going ballistic insisting it’s 6:35 in the morning, not in in the evening. A friend came and took her to the ER. I don’t know if they will admit her. I don’t think t(ey can iff if she doesn’t say she i. She knows better than to say that. I thin. I can’t believe this is all happening. Supposed to have a shower and counseling today. Can’t watch watch any DVD's with this screwed up DVR remote regarding sound. Have to do everything at the TV. II have a new appreciation of remotes’. I did kcall Direct TV again to verify a remote can create such havoc. IIf it’s't that, the DVR itself I I'll mso much recorded over the years. They can’t move programs from one m.machine,. To m another. Force me into an internet,’ model witch means a new TV. That doen't guarantee all I have is streamable.. ,.Well this typing is getting all screwy here as usual. Probably not making sense today. Sorry about that. 💕 to all.
  4. I have to go to bed. Too much Bee. I'm thinking too grief and maybe . Demen5ia💕
  5. I wrote my pain clinic about how bad this this is getting. I tried sleeping on my good side and and that backfired. I have to call the dentist and ask to be seen my eye assessed. Set up more appointments. 'M losing more balance as time goes by. Better get to That sleep thing first. 💕
  6. Found out I didn’t get billed by the other contractor. AC is in and working so well we’ve turned it off. I have a remote which makes everything sooooo easy Found out Dee has been taking her nerve pain med early in the evening as well as at bedtime. That much always makes her all weird. She didn’t lash night and is doing better. I still don’t trust anything but this was a much better day. Watched A Man called Otto with Tom Hanks last night where he was a widower and did an excellent job. Shower was tough. New week, new pain patch. B12 shot too. Need to drop more oxycodone. What little bit I'm on is more than I should be. 💕 to Al.
  7. I can’t think of anything I'd travel that far in a trip unless it was included in a vacation. I got antsy sitting in a doctors office! That’s dedication, Kay! Today is such an empty day. So much depressing reality. I've tried calling a company I considered for the AC install that I paid to use but didn’t. Every time I get connected with agent to get my money back, voice was so gabled we couldn’t communicate. I just called Apple to fix my keyboard and thought they did, but it reverted back. I hate chasing crazy problems. I’m also angry about money I may have lost. Dee is becoming impossible to live with. No news there but it’s getting worse. Hope to get thru a shower today and stay relatively sane. Exhaustion and stress stole so much sleep. I did ge5 my iPad fixed and now have AC! Have to get sed ito it coming on and off. Find the right temperature and redo curtains around the window. 💕 to alll.
  8. Steve wasn’t a perfectionist, but he knew I liked things in place. They didn’t have to precise. I appreciated he cared. Dee does too. The only thing I don’t do now is make my side of the bed because of the rain of getting in and out. Counseling was a let down again yesterday. We decided to focus on one topic next week which is put off til Saturday. 11 days. Dee talks t her doctor today so we’ll have more info on what to expect coming up for her. Seeing her in so much pain is taking a toll. On us both. Have to talk to my doctor this week too. Always assisted living. Off to sleep. The fake stuff I get. 💕 to all.
  9. Marg, so sorry about your car. Best let the insurance companies duke it out. Get a car right away so you aren't stranded. I haven't been in a wreck, either, since my 20’s. What a pain. I rode my bike as I don't think I had the rental car part. I am the most happy you seem OK. Heck of a place for a bruise! I couldn't live with a male in ca roommate situation. Did that for a bit when I left home and didn't care for it. Most guys are messy and you can't run around freel as you can with women. Had to cover up all the time. Laundry was complicated. Other women around. Marriage was freer from those situations. First week peaking on higher dos pain patch. Been feeling sick all night since. dinner. Movie Time was a fiasco with an extreme depression movie about altshiemers. Not enough time to start another one. Counseling today. 💕 to all.
  10. I don’t know how to explain our relationship. Especially since the software has messes up what what I type. There is noo misspelling when I post it. It perfect sense. The next day it’s all jumbled. One more time. She’s written the us bot letters not to drink that day for us and to get her liver treatments. She wants to be with me. That is what LI want. We love each other. Can’t turn that off. But, yes, it can turn to resentment. Trying to prevent that. Also trying to adapt to the stronger pain patch as I feel the side effects more towards the doctors that created the addiction. I get the work to undo it. This could have been done over a year ago if they would have done it right. Had a decent nights dinner from CC center. Kielbasa and cabbage for my Polish side.. Grateful dark chocolate is good for you. TV time so so. Should e hearing from a dentist soon. No nitrous tho. Love that stuff. Morning and night all. 💕🌞
  11. Thank you for all your thoughts, email and concern. It has been a very tought week. Happened again last night and now she, her self, is talking about leaving. I certainly don’t think want to be In nights like that anymore. I now face how much I love and depend on the sober her. The great nights we’ve had. How much more powerful this addiction is than me. The way my life is changing is that *my heart and my head and my head face another crisis out of my control. We were on the brink yesterday. She did a lot of thinking non it and came back to me with a promiisory letter to not drink anymore. She’s never done that, ever for ever.. One for me and one to carry for her. This is still a one day at a time thing. I also started my stronger pair patches. Feel weird. More later. Thank you all for making me feel I matter.❤️
  12. AC contractor came ut and everything is set up for installation next Friday provided the unit arrives in time Wednesday. Dee melts down every night when. It gets dark, sober or not. I’m going insane with it. Sleep is taking a toll. The housekeeper comes today. Extra half hour on them today. I've got to decide on the pain patch strength for Saturday. Shower day. Off to all the fun. Can have a few hours on unconscious void for a bit. 💕
  13. I thought about the sterile thing, Kay. I'll just have to do the best I can. I don"t even know if it will hold.eating again. Fortunately they slip right on. Not a skill I wanted to hone. Your post was very interesting, Marg. I s e a bit of PTSin Dee. Also a lot of borderline personality too. It’s like a whole different way they see the world. It’s not realistic. There is a lot of anger, most misdirected. We become targets. Contractor coming today o scope out AC. Have to pay for that even if I don’t use .him. INot a good selling start. 💕 to all.
  14. I know when I lived in Phoenix ow dangerous heat stroke was. I took jobs at night to stay out of the sun. But even during the night it was very hot. Ate a lot of popsicles on smoke breaks. Having a sports car, it always over heated during the day. I wanted to pay for a battery. Dee needed but she turned me down. Now she says she never did anD I didn’t. I offer. I had about her heater and she turned that down too. It’s much more complicated to but I haven’t the energy to spell it out. It also involves my shrink and Nina. How SHE remembers things that were said, not what actually was. Just how she did. Another bad nigh5. They just keep getting worse. She says she’s sober. If that is true, this is going to end soon. ‘Everyone' says she should be getting paid since we aren’t a couple. That’s one person she has identified. Her father and her sister she doesn’t talk to about this. Now I'm cheap for not buying her car’s battery. I offered months ago that and her heating. But she says she doesn’t ask for money.??? I don’t know how to find a caregiver for my hours, guess I better start looking. Gotta do that sleep thing. Have counseling this afternoons. I'll see what I can find out for the tooth ting. Thanks Karan.💕
  15. JI don’t want a live in caregiver. Been having horrible night sleeps. Having to get up twice a morning now. Got a letter today that my insurance might stop coverage with UW which all my doctors and hospital in my neighborhood are. The pain clinic i s with them. It’s the largest provider in the area. This is nuts! All the other places are at least 10 miles, low estimate, away. Some are in other cities and you have to take public transport downtown. No cars allowed unless you have parking provided by your employer in a building. Dee is all upset because my shrink said something about her. The guy isn’t worth getting upset about. I hated talking to him but *lad it’s over. He wasn’t exactly showering me with caring sentiments. Talked to my insurance about an almost 2 year old claim from an ambulance they screwed up. Got the info if they bill me again. They left out a zip code and &filled it past the deadline. They have to do it again r they want another shot. My insurance said ignore this bill. So that is what I will do. I’m too busy doing my own stuff. Talk to the pain clinic today. Worst of the heat days today. Dee turned on his fan over my bed. Feels good. I don’t usually like air blowing on.me. Getting desperate. Dinner is going to be a cold sandwich and Fritos. Always chocolate. A buddy played pickle ball in this heat and walked her dogs. I consider that crazy. They have some kind of furnace that heats and cools. That’s where I',d be staying. When I sat down for a light dinner, I lost 2 crowns on lower front teeth. Had them for over 50 years. Was supposed .to get a bridge put in decades ago. Don’t know what I'm going to do now. Being home bound is bad enough but add in more complications. I don’t know how to get them at least glued back on. Another day in paradise. Have a move out for tonight. The Zodiac Killer. Very long so only half. Have to have time for my Sinner series. 💕 to all.
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