widow'15

4 hours ago, kayc said:

Usually robocalls you can't talk to, not sure what they get out of it, you know they won't give out their real number or identity.  Had to take my phone off the hook a couple of days!

kayc:  I hear you.  I disconnected my landline about a month ago in preparation for my move and haven't missed it one bit.  Of course, I don't have lots of contacts, (friends or family) so usually only got robo calls.  I would let the answer machine respond and I'd screen.  But could be annoying with the early a.m. calls waking me.  Dee

8 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

 I’m so sick of Medicare and it’s influence over my supplemental plan.

Gwen:  Yes, sadly Medicare is in charge of our healthcare.  If Medicare doesn't approve, supplemental won't pay.  This is what we looked forward to in our "golden years".  Sorry it is such a battle for you.  Dee

Marty:  Happy Birthday.  Thank you for being here for us.  Dee

50 minutes ago, Gwenivere said:

 I can still see him standing at the bedroom window before bed to blow smoke outside to help him sleep with the pain.

😢 Sad memory Gwen to have to watch your love in so much pain.  Sorry.  Dee

2 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

 You gong to find an annoying place to put them in your new home?    Sounds like tradition.

Oh funny Gwen.  Bob would laugh at your remark.  Another quirky, annoying silly thing he'd do that I miss.  I always accused him of waiting until I had put all dirty dishes away and then out of somewhere he'd bring me more dishes to wash that he had probably "forgotten" alongside his fish frying **, or barbecuing outside cooking area.  Accusingly I would say, "you waited until I finished, didn't you ?"   He'd just smile at me.  **(I was strict about keeping that fried seafood "aroma" out of the house).  So much missing in our lives anymore.  The smiles, the teasing, the laughs of what used to be a whole happy couple is now only memories.  Hugs, Dee 
 

14 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Today I go see the back surgeon.  I’m so dreading this.

Gwen:  Just sat down for a rest from packing and read your news about your back surgeon appointment.   Hoping the appointment went manageable for you.  Hugs, Dee

8 hours ago, kayc said:

Didn't hear back from doctor about Covid test (surprise, surprise) so called them, negative as expected.

kayc:  Good news on Covid test, but maybe they thought they were doing you a favor.  Lol.  Dee

17 hours ago, Marg M said:

Yet, when I open them it is like I just remember Billy being gone.  Cannot explain it..  I do know it is not real but my heart doesn't. 

Marg, you don't have to explain to anyone, especially me, why you keep your memories of Billy near you.  I totally understand the comfort those last things our love touched or wore is comforting and reminders of marvelous happy times and too, even some sad reminders.  Bob had a habit of laying his cap, a baseball cap, with his sunglasses nested on top, on the counter between the kitchen and living area.  I would often remind him that wasn't the best place to leave his hat.  He'd just ignore me of course.  The awful night in 2015, almost 6 years ago, when I took him back to the hospital due to an infection after his bladder surgery had reared it's ugly head, the hat and glasses are still there where he last took them off, only moved when I dust or clean the counter, then replaced where he left them.  When I take my last walk out the front door of this house I will find a place in my new home with all the other reminders of him.

16 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Id hate to make furniture decisions, Dee.

 My two kids have already taken some of the larger pieces for their use, and the garage and wood shop items. The pieces we will move this weekend are smaller pieces and only those I can make use of.  I will struggle with maybe not being able to take some wall units that belonged to my Mother.  I might not have enough floor space for them plus doubt I will use what is stored in them.  My entertaining days are in my past.  

9 hours ago, kayc said:

Dee, hoping all goes well with your move!

 Thanks kayc, moving is not an easy task and understand how each one of us has a different road to walk.  I wish I could stay put until my days are over, but don't see how it is possible for me and my circumstances.  I do appreciate everyone's best wishes. 

Thanks all.  Dee 

4 hours ago, Marg M said:

Dee, did you ever get moved into your new home?

Marg:  No I haven't moved just yet.  I have been sorting, purging and packing 50+ years of "stuff" since a year ago.  If everything goes as planned this weekend my son will bring over a Uhaul truck and take the first load of smaller pieces of furniture.  I  made him promise that he will have to do it my way so I can get myself organized gradually in my little "Gramma House".   Thanks to the pandemic, a 6 month plan lasted a year.  Weather and permitting problems have only added more problems.  But, am gradually seeing some light at the end of my long dark tunnel and I think I am still sane most days.  Thanks for asking.  I still think about your plastic tubs surrounding your bed and visualize that could be my reality before this move is over. Hugs, Dee

5 hours ago, kayc said:

I asked why and she said I'm asymptomatic.

kayc:  I can only add to what has been said by others; this is horrifying treatment.  And, this is what I don't understand about the meaning of being asymptomatic.  Can any ailment; i.e. headache, upset stomach, ache joints, etc., mean we are asymptomatic ?   I hope your medication will relieve you of discomfort so you and Kodie can settle back into a comfortable routine.  Thinking of you.  Dee

19 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Wow, you can lay in your back?  That sounds like a true luxury to me!

I try to sleep on my side sometimes, which used to be my favorite position or sleeping on my stomach was another, but now the body aches tell me to move to my back and eventually with pillow under my hip I fall asleep and don't change positions except for potty breaks.  

19 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Are you using a company?  no way do I want to find someone else.  This gal has treated us well and found things others missed.  I see it akin to finding a new doctor.  Not an endeavor we want to take on.  

The tax man I use is a CPA that Bob always used to do our taxes.  He is in a one man office plus a secretary of course, and is close by enough I can drive to his office with no problem.   Next year may be a problem because I will be living an hour away.  But, I won't think about that just now.  Next year will take care of next year.  😁  Dee

3 hours ago, Marg M said:

I said my boobs fall upward and suffocate me.  She got a kick out of that, didn't believe me. 

Marg:  You always make me giggle with your life descriptions.  Love You for that.  Dee

I am so sorry to read you have recently lost your husband and am hopeful you will find some comfort in joining this forum.  We here all have different stories but are all understanding of what you have lost.   I lost my husband almost 6 years ago and still have days you speak about wanting to just go to sleep and not wake up.  Agreeably the pandemic has only magnified the lose of your husband, your partner and your best friend.  It is good you have a support system.  The best advice I learned on this forum is to just get through one day at a time.  Keeping you in my thoughts.  Dee

2 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

I didn’t know you were a late night person.  You still have me beat by almost 2 hours.  Takes me so long to settle in with pillows and avoiding pain.  I try and get going earlier and do, but some way or another it’s the same time every night.  I’m so rigid in my schedule too.

Gwen:  I used to go to bed around 11pm but since Bob passed I have been going to sleep later and later, no matter what time I get into bed.   I know what you mean when you say it takes so long to settle in with pillows.  My pain is not anywhere as chronic as yours, but I find the only way I can fall asleep is on my back with pillow under left hip. 

2 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

 I don’t do FTF with money people.

I'm confident when I call for an appointment there will be instructions on being well spaced, masked, etc.  Goodness, if I had to search for another tax person at this point and time, it would put me over the cliff.  There is no way I could do my own taxes.  Aaarg.  😫  Dee 

7 hours ago, ipswitch said:

I have a new sleep aid. It's called an Echo Dot.

Not sure what this is, but sounds like you have to own an Alexa thing.  This old lady can barely grasp a smart phone so doubt I'd be able to set up an Alexa.  Good it works to get you to sleep.  My two adult kids both need to have fans blowing on them or they can't sleep. LOL.  Dee

1 hour ago, Gwenivere said:

 We have to do things like taxes that are such a pain.  I used to be so diligent and efficient.

Gwen:  Oh yes "taxes" are a real pain.  I used to just keep everything in a file throughout the year; receipts, property tax statements, etc., and just hand that file to Bob at this time of year.  He would pull it all together and go sit with a tax man with questions and answers.  He always knew how to talk taxes.  I have never been able to comprehend any of it no matter how much I sit and read and reread.  I spent yesterday trying to pull it together before I make an appointment to go sit with tax man wearing my dumb look on my face. 

9 hours ago, kayc said:

My son told me YEARS ago that my brain is cluttered and it takes longer to find things  in it, it needs a defrag (remember defragging computers?).  Sometimes I wish it had an off switch too, so I could sleep w/o problems.

Yes do remember "defragging".   Be sure to let me know when your son tells you where that "off" switch is, would love to be able to drop off to sleep before 3 am every morning.

On 1/29/2021 at 6:16 AM, kayc said:

My daughter is a night owl, always has been, her whole life, she struggles to sleep.  Melatonin seems to help her, unlike me, I have to take Trazodone but it's only good for 3-4 hours, if I don't get back to sleep and I'm desperate to catch up, I take a Benedryl.  That'll usually do it but I don't like to because if taken regularly, it can cause dementia (according to sister Polly that researches everything).  With my mom having had that, I do NOT want that so it's a last resort for me.

I tried Melatonin and it seemed to work until I noticed I was having some stomach/bathroom issues with it.  Googled it and sure enough some people have this issue with Melatonin.  Lucky me. 

Also stopped Benedryl after reading what your sister Polly said.   I would take a 1/2 Benedryl each night.   My Mother had dementia, too, and I hope and pray I don't follow in her footsteps.  I will try to just fall asleep as well as I can and maybe some day I will just wear myself down.  I am just thankful I have a nice place to sleep, even though it is alone.  I don't have a sweet Kodie or a Mel letting me know it's time to eat.   Dee 

20 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

i miss and love him so much.  

Gwen:  Unfortunately time cannot ever remove our pain of missing their presence, their love, the hugs, the beautiful and fun memories.  Your first wedding 38 years ago sounded like an experience and so worth remembering and so glad you shared with us.  Please know you are in my thoughts.  Hugs, Dee 

3 hours ago, Marg M said:

Just all y'all stay well.  

Thank you Marg for wishing all of us well.  You stay safe yourself.  Somehow I want to believe we will all get through this horrendous way to live.  Unlike you, who carries her faith so well, I do believe God will help us get through this, somehow.  Hugs, Dee.

59 minutes ago, Gwenivere said:

 Just hoping it doesn’t happen again.

Gwen:  Good Heavens that is for sure, we all hope it doesn't happen to you again.  I hope your back doesn't give you grief tonight after your hospital visit.  Just am glad you were able to get back home.  Take care.  Hugs, Dee

Marg:  Thanks for checking in.  I loved the way you solved the un-masked lady at the deli counter.  Great move.  Keeping you and your family in my thoughts.  Hugs, Dee

3 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

OK, Marg hasn’t been here since Friday.

Oh my goodness.  Hope she is well.  Dee

6 hours ago, kayc said:

The older I get, the more I understand my mom.  Wish she was here so I could tell her!

kayc:  At least once a day this feeling runs through my mind.  I hope my Mom hears me say how sorry I was for those times I had to make decisions for her care as her dementia symptoms increased.  I still talk to her when I'm not talking to Bob.  Oh, how I can now understand what her fears must have been.  Right now I am the age she was when she passed away.  I find myself doing some of the same physical movements, i.e., the way she walked, worked in the kitchen, etc.  Strange how life repeats itself.  Dee

2 hours ago, nashreed said:

She's very stubborn as well, and is not used to be anyone being concerned for her health, I guess. So, I feel like a jerk for just wanting her to not get sick. I can't win. 

I'm not sure of your Mother's age, but I am 79 and have some health issues, live alone, etc.  My daughter and I often get into it because she wants to make sure I am taking care of myself.  I am constantly telling her, please don't try to help unless I ask for the help.  Being stubborn is probably inbred in us "Mothers" and really is a good thing.  Just know you are a good son to notice she might need help.  Just thought I'd share my "old grouchy lady" opinion.  Please take it in a caring way.  Dee

10 minutes ago, Kieron said:

Yes.  i got call about it that was "scammy" sounding and offering me Medicare but I am too young for it, so, knowing what I know, I called 1800-MEDICARE and reported it a minute later. 

Kieron:  Good job reporting this annoyance.  You are so correct in saying elderly aren't tech savvy and don't always get it that this is a scam.  They only hear "if you don't respond you will be .....................  fill in the blanks.  👏 Dee

1 hour ago, kayc said:

Medicare called me at 6:45 am, didn't identify themselves, I blocked them.  WAY inconsiderate of them!  Why would they call me anyway?  I use Healthnet Advantage.  Can't think of a reason in the world they'd call and not leave a message.  Maybe someone spoofing them?  Who knows.  I'm always up by then but that's not the point, what if I was someone that got up at 9?

kayc:  Yep it was probably a "robo" call.  I believe Medicare would not call unless in response to your call.  I have shut off my landline in preparation for my move to my son's property and have really enjoyed not getting those early calls.  Many mornings I am one of those still sleeping at 9 am since my brain doesn't shut off just because I am in bed ready to sleep the night before.   Dee

6 hours ago, kayc said:

Yesterday I turned in my keys, I can't begin to explain all the feelings I have.  Slept four hours last night and my BS was the highest it's been in the last year.  Some things are not easy even if coveted.  I hope in time I sense the freedom of pressure, right now I'm feeling unappreciated and that hurts.

kayc:  Sorry you are feeling unappreciated.  Of course that is a hurtful feeling.  You, Gwen and other volunteers have to know you are all angels.  I think Marg has voiced that statement many times.  I hope within time that feeling, like other feelings will fade away.  Your health is your major concern right now and I hope your BS issues will correct really soon.  Take care and Hugs, Dee.