Laurensftb

Well its been awhile but i lost my dad when i was 11 never got along with my step dad which cause my mom and me to drift apart since he was taking his side to avoid conflict. Me and my mom were really close we would talk all the time talk about dad and how things were, up until she decided that it was easier to just let it have things his way. My step dad was very controlling and bipolar. I moved out when i was 16 then and am now currently living with my grandparents. Im 17 now and its soo hard to go through everything i've just kinda say whatever to things. My grandpa has cancer as well so thats a whole other story. I feel like im not supossed to have a family. I miss my dad and i wish he was still here. I wish i could be with my mom and brother and not have my step dad there... everything has just built up for so long i feel like im going to explode.

It'll be five years since i went through the hardest thing ever losing my dad on July 3ard. And now we found out my grandpa has cancer, and isn't doing good at all they gave him three to two years to live. He doesnt look the same hes yellow and sleeps all the time. I couldnt imagine losing him to. It was hard enough losing my dad at 11 when i didn't have tons and tons of memories with him like i do with my grandpa. I've always been grandpas little girl. So i try not to let it get to me or think about having to go through everything i went through with my dad. I just pray that he can fight this, and be strong..

I know exactly what you mean, my dad was killed when i was younger and i still feel like im going to wake up and hes going to call saying hes coming to pick my up...its soo hard i cant even say it gets better cause for me it hasnt and doesnt feel like it will...if you ever want to talk i'd love to

Thank you its good to know that atleast someone knows what its like that i can talk to..i do i have like the best friend in the whole world..shes always been there for me, shes actually the one that made me go to his grave for the first time since the day of the funeral which had been four years so

"I also feel very guilty because I didn't go to see my dad very much when he was in hospital, he had mental health problems and it upset me so much to see him that way. How I wish I could go and sit with him now, hold his hand, talk to him, but of course I can't." Wow thats exactly how i feel...my dad was only 32 when he was killed i was 11, i remmeber him laying in the hospital and going in there and just seeing him laying there just dying..i remember holding his hand and feeling like omg im standing here holding a deads persons hand..i wish i could go back to that day theres no much that i would have said to him befor he left us but i didnt i was to busy thinking about myself and holding a dead persons hand that i left the room and never got to say what i really felt...its been four years and ive went back to the grave once and that was cause my best friend dragged me and it was only like two months ago i went four years without going and seeing him i regret it... im also very sorry for your loss as well

Me and my mom arent really close anymore we used to be really close but her relationship with my step dad kinda has gotten in the way of us being close i really dont have anything to say to her or my step dad so its just kinda me by myself

I know whats its like...i hate when its around that time of year for my dads anniversary i wish i could say it gets easier but for me it hasnt and its been four years...seems like its harder and harder every year...if you ever want to talk just email me

My dad was killed four years ago, i was 11 years old, im 16 years old now. Its the hardest thing ive ever been through and the hardest thing i think ill ever have to go through. He was killed in a car accident, we didnt really have a close relationship but he was still my dad. My parents had gotten a divorce when i was 3 and my brother was 2. My dad moved on he kinda got a new life new wife new kids. I saw him every one in awhile when he would call or i would decide to call which i regret not calling more. Ive never missed someone so much and theres so many unanswered questions that i wish he was here to answer. I love him so much and havent really been able to talk about it and needed to let it out...