WendyJ

Marsha I have not been on much lately but I just couldn't pass up coming on and wishing one of the nicest people I know a very Happy Birthday !!! I hope you have a very special day, stay as sweet as you are my friend.

Love Always,

Wendy

Donna I am so sorry for the loss of your husband and I am also sorry that most of us did not see your post since you put it in the tribute section. Marty could you please also put this in the regular spouse section so that we may give Donna the love and support she needs? Donna this is a wonderful group of people that care very much and we are all where you are right now, of course we are all at different stages though in our grief, if you need someone to listen to you day or night please come here and we will help you through this. Again, I am so sorry for your loss and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Love Always,

Wendy

Mary Linda,

I just wanted you to know I am thinking of you today and sending (((HUGS))) to you on what would have been yours and Tom's 38th wedding anniversary. Time is moving so quickly yet it seems like it was just yesterday that they were still here, I am here today if you need a friend to talk to as you have always been here for me. Please do something special for yourself today and think of all the wonderful times you two had together. Tom, we are watching over your special lady until she will be with you one day again, she misses and loves you very much !

Love Always,

Wendy

Well Kay you don't have to sell me on how much love and companionship a dog ( or in my case 7 dogs ) can give you. My little ones are always by my side, surround me at night to protect me and always make me laugh, Japanese Chins are comical little dogs. Your Arlington I believe is a Husky/Shepherd mix he certainly is adorable ! Good luck with him and you better start puppy proofing..... the little devil ! LOL

Love Always,

Wendy

Wow Marty, I don't know what else to say but thank you...this is incredible and not only touched me but made me do alot of thinking within myself. Thanks so much !

Love Always,

Wendy

Thanks so much for sending this to me John, I will send it on to other members of the group that I am close with. This truly is beautiful, I myself am not completely in the color version yet at 2 years, I still have a "Touch Of Grey" in mine, but I am getting there. Thanks again...

Love Always,

Wendy

Marsha I agree with what everyone is saying, you have hit a rough time and the best thing you can do is listen to your body. If you are tired, then sleep, if you want to do nothing, then do nothing, we all went through the same thing and some of us still do here and there and maybe even more than we would like to admit. I think opening the deli will help to keep you alittle more busy as long as you don't over do it. Good luck to you and of course know that we are here for you.

Love Always,

Wendy

Fred I know you are right, but I think more than anything I am not only mad at his doctor who treated him for the problem with his leg but just the rat race in general. Everything is in such a fast pace anymore no matter where you go, his doctor seemed to have taken so many patients in that it was like he was herding in cattle, by time you got called in for your appointment it was over an hour later and you were lucky if you got 10 mins with him, why did he continue to go to him? He was the only vascular doctor in the area who took our insurance and in the beginning he was great, but then he just didn't seem to care and overlooked an obvious sign that we missed too. I wonder if things weren't always so crazy all the time, if we could have slowed down if we might have noticed and realized what might have been going on. Looking back the symptoms were so obvious, but they just said he had the beginnings of Arthritis, oh well, I can't change the past right? Gosh I wish I could.

Love Always,

Wendy

You are so welcome Vickie, hope you had a nice day and sorry I spelled your name wrong !

Love Always,

Wendy

Mary Linda,

I can tell you that in time, it does get easier, but I will not lie to you, it is not an easy road to get there. You need to go through the stages as far as in the beginning there is the shock of it, and I know at about 7-9 months the shock wore off for me and reality kicked in, I have to admit the 7-9 month stage was the worst for me. Then I seemed to go through an anger stage, angry with the doctors, the hospital and myself. Honestly from 1 year to where I am now which is quickly approaching 2 years I have had alittle of all of the emotions but with not quite the intensity on a daily basis but there were times that I hit rock bottom but then the next day would feel better. I find now I can talk about him better without getting as choked up or downright hysterical crying like I used to. There are still moments like last night one of my little dogs was acting real goofy in a way that used to make Steve laugh so much and it just hit me that he wasn't there to laugh and never will be again. I didn't realize I was going to start crying but obviously the other dogs did as they all started watching me carefully and all started to approach me as the tears slowly crept up. There is no easy way out of this grief, we just have to learn to take each day as it comes and go through the motions. But you can not go by my stages or anyone elses for that matter, I also had to deal with losing a Grandmother and my Mom's cancer and the loss of a love relationship that almost sent me over the edge. I am dreading the 2 year mark for me in March and what would have been our 30th Wedding anniversary in April but I do have to admit that the second year was easier than the first and like Derek will tell you the third year gets easier than the second. Tom would want you to go on that vacation and enjoy youself, so do it and we will be here for you when you return.

Love Always,

Wendy

Teny I too was thrown out of the room as my husband was passing, the one nurse practically picked me up to get me out and I will hate them for it till the day I die as I never got to say goodbye as it was so unexpected. My husband loved everyone unconditionally also, he was the first one there to help someone out but hated to bother people to help him so would do things himself or I would have to bring in the troops myself. We lived for making each other happy, of course like you said Kath there were the rough times, especially when we were younger and less mature but all in all we loved each other very much and would do anything for each other. I think there are always rougher times too when you are raising kids, I remember having some tough times with our girls which put stress on us but if your love is strong you get through it somehow and I look at my girls now and realize we raised them just fine. My husband could have taken better care of himself, could have been more insistent that the doctor find out why his leg was hurting too much to be arthritis and I blame myself for that too as if we had they would have found the clot and my childhood sweetheart would still be with me...okay that is all I can handle for now.

Love Always,

Wendy

Vicki I see that today is your birthday and want to wish you a very Happy Birthday ! I hope your day was nice and you did something special just for you ! Hope to see you here soon !

Love Always,

Wendy

Mary Linda you are not going backwards, you are doing just fine. I am quickly approaching 2 years and I still do the same things. This is not something that we can get over quickly, or at all for that matter, think about how many years you two were together. This is going to take time and all we can do is do the best we can with love and support from our friends and family here. This is probably the toughest thing we will ever have to do in our lives and we need to remember to also take care of ourselves along the way, so that vacation might be very good for you to get away. Try to think of getting away as a positive thing as it might just very well be. My thoughts are with you my friend just as you have been there for me.

Love Always,

Wendy

Kathy it is nice to see you back again as we have missed you. I am sorry you are going through a rough spell right now, I know all too well what that is like to have alot piled on you at once and believe me you will get through it somehow. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your sister right now and the rest of your family also. Please let us know how she is doing and the outcome of her tests. Please take care of yourself.

Love Always,

Wendy

Oh Kath I thank you and wish I had known about Bob's earlier this month I would have sent some love and prayers your way also, this is so tough to get through, we will all get through it though, one step at a time.

Love Always,

Wendy

Rosemary my thoughts and prayers are with you today and always.

Love Always,

Wendy

Erica It will be two years for my Steve passing on March 7th I had forgotten how close our dates were. We need to keep in touch when it gets close to that time, I don't know about you but I am already dreading the two year mark and it is hard to believe it has been that long since I have seen him. I am glad to see you posting again ! Jeanne you are so right, until someone goes through this which if they have not already they will at some point in their lifetime, they have no idea how much this pain hurts and how it changes you forever.

Love Always,

Wendy

Oh Lisa I am so very sorry for your loss, loved the pictures of you two, cherish them always. I lost my husband in March of 2007 and he was 51 and we had been together since we were teenagers. Come here as often as you like and cry and scream and vent, whatever you need to do and believe me we will perfectly understand as if you look back on some of our posts we all have done it. Welcome to our group although I wish it were for happier reasons for all of us.

Love Always,

Wendy

Is this a private party of crazies or can anyone join ? LOL I too at times find myself talking to Steve, but it is not usually on a normal basis it is when I get upset or need help with something that I can't do on my own. Does he hear me? Hmm..... well I always manage to get through it somehow so maybe he does, I certainly hope so.

Love Always,

Wendy

Thank You so much Jeanne that means the world to me.

Love Always,

Wendy

Teny , yes I think it is normal for us to ask for help and guidance from our loved ones who have passed, well I at least hope so as I do the same thing as you. Many times I talk to my husband and ask for his help or guidance in something I am having a hard time with. I do not know if they truly can help us but I would like to believe they can and I would also like to believe they can hear and see us. So if you are losing your mind, so am I and that means when I come out to Greece to visit we should get along just fine ! My thoughts and prayers are with you my friend.

Love Always,

Wendy

Oh boy Kay, thank goodness it is not me you are talking about as I would not want to be on the receiving end of that but you know what? This person that you are still calling your friend does not deserve to be called your friend and I don't know why you have not told her to hit the highway running !!! If these are the things she is saying to you and she is even talking behind your back is she a friend? Think about it, there is alot of anger in this post and do you really need this on top of what you are already going through? I understsnd perfectly what you are doing and why...so what is her problem? You and I both have learned some valuable although hurtful lessons these past few months and I think one of them needs to be not to take any crap from people, if they do not love us or understand us or in your friends case if she does not agree she should just keep her mouth shut and support you either way, they can move on with their own mixed up lives and leave us alone ! I myself understand all you are doing and I support you all the way, you are doing a fantastic job and we could all only wish we could do half as good as you if we were in your situation. You Go Girl !!!!!!!

Love Always,

Wendy

P.S. Maybe you should forward her this post !!!

Oh gosh I so much miss the normal routine that Steve and I had, I guess some people would think it was boring but we just loved being together and doing the simple things in life. I miss walking in the door at night and since he was on disability I would already smell dinner cooking and fresh coffee being made so we could sit together and talk about our day. Now with all that is going on in the world I too wonder what he would think about all of this. I too keep mental notes to tell him about things, and then soon realize he is not here to tell. It has been almost 2 years for me and I still do some of the things you guys mentioned, maybe we always will.

Love Always,

Wendy

Mossfire I too am so sorry for your loss and that you have to be here, but you have certainly come to the right place for understanding and love and support. We are all in different stages of our grief here but all agree on the same thing, we need one another to put our lives back together as best we can and to move on without the loved ones we have lost.

Love Always,

Wendy

Bdzack I am so sorry you had to join us, this is a hard road we all here must travel. I too lost my husband very suddenly and unexpectedly to a blood clot that went to his heart, he was only 51 years old. He was fine the night before and gone the next day. We will be here for you as much as you need us so please keep coming back.

Love Always,

Wendy