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DebFromLodi

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Posts posted by DebFromLodi

  1. I have not posted in awhile. I just had to write today because I cannot believe it has been 5 years today that my mom died. It was about 6 am when the hospital called saying she was non responsive. We four kids rushed to her side and sat with her until she died at 11:34 am. She was with us when we took our first breath...we were with her when she took her last. God, I miss her so much. We are going to the cemetery today to take her flowers. It is a sad day.

  2. We all totally understand what you are going though. I know that does not help right now but it will, in time. I am the baby of the family. I am 60 now and my mom has been gone since 2/2/08 at 11:34am. I miss her so very much, she was my life for so long. Now I wish she was here to talk to as my brother just found out his cancer is back for the 3rd time. I am so grateful that my mom is not here to feel the pain of a child so sick, but at the same time, I wish i had her here to talk to to. To make it all better. My brother started out with colon cancer, then it went to his liver. He was completely cancer free for a long time. He went for a blood test three months ago and the reading was a little high and they did a pet scan but nothing showed. They told him to come back in three months, and he did, but this time his blood count went from 7 (should be 5) way up to 33. Today he goes in for another pet scan then to find out on Wed. what is up. I need my mom but she is not here. I know my brother needs her too.

    Sorry for straying. Please know that I pray for you to get through this, and you will. Please come back here often, it does help.

  3. I am so sorry for your losses. We DO understand what you are going through. Just remember that when it seems everyone else has turned their backs on you, we are here for you. I lost my dad in 1979 and lost my mom on 2/2/08. That was the worst loss i have ever experienced. I miss her so very much and think of her every single day. I wish I could offer words of healing to you but am still going through the same that you are going through. I just wish I could have a dream of her or anything. My daughter has dreams of my mom where she realizes in the dream that my mom is dead and talks to her about it. It is like she is really having a conversation with her. I feel so left out since I have not experienced anything like that.

    Keep coming to this site, I am sure you will find the help you need. We do care.

  4. My daughter is so lucky. She has dreams about my mom (her grandma) where she knows in the dream that my mom is dead and is talking to her and asking her questions. I have not dreamed of her at all, at least not that i can remember. One dream my daughter had was she was talking to my mom and i was there sitting on the floor in front of her. My daughter turned and walked toward the hallway and she thought to herself "wait, grandma is dead" then my mom said to her "I love you Desiree" and she answered "I love you too, Grandma."

    I pray and pray, but no dreams come to me.

  5. My mom died on 2/2/08 at 11:34 am. I have been so lost without her. Yesterday a strange thing happened. I was sitting and thinking about nothing, when all of a sudden, something went through my head. I heard "I sure love you." it was only a thought in my head, it was not in her voice but it was definately my mom. I could hear her saying that years ago. She would look at me with love in her eyes and a smile on her face, then softly say "I sure love you." I know it was her, I just know it.

    I just wanted to share this with all of you. You have been here for me all these years since I lost her. Thanks.

  6. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom on 2/2/08 at 11:34 am. We were with her when she took her last breath. A large part of me died with her that day and i have never been the same since. There is not a day that goes by that i do not think of her and wish to talk to her one more time. There are days when i cry like a baby and other days when i am ok, but i never EVER stop loving and missing her. It does get a little easier with time, but it never gets better. I feel like an orphan...no mom and no dad to love me. My daughter is grown (38 yrs old next month) and we are very close, thank God.

    Anyway, you are not alone. You can come here and talk about anything you need to and at any time. No one will judge you, everyone will help you as best we can. Good luck on your journey. I find comfort talking to God and knowing someday I will be with my mom again, in Heaven.

  7. When my mom died, four years ago, i remember thinking: Thank God I have NO regrets and so not feel any guilt. But guess what? It creeps up on you. Now i look back and think I should have done more for her, visited her longer and more often, done this and that. Some days it is so bad it brings me to my knees in grief. I think it is normal but so hard to live with. Good luck to you.

  8. My dad has been gone for almost 33 years. My mom has only been gone for 4 years. Today I am having a day when I need her so much. I have been crying all morning for no real reason, I just can't stop. I read that poem and it was so nice, thanks for sharing it. I desperately needed it today. I am 60 years old, but still feel like a child inside, wanting and needing my mom. If only I could turn back time and had it all to do again. If I knew then what I know now.....I love you mom so much.

  9. My daughter and I will take flowers to her grave today. I just can't believe that life has gone on without her. I had her in my life for over 50 years. When her life ended, so should have ours. Doesn't that say that she was not very important? I just go on day to day. I laugh and just go about my business, though i do think of her every single day. I love and miss her more than i can say. She was my mom, my best friend. I am so sad without her.

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