D.

[PioneerUP]

Deleted.

[iPraiseHim]

Pioneer up,

Your S.O. gently explained his situation after his grandmother passed.  Death and significant grief is not something someone can just get over and move on.  It affects everyone differently.  He is doing well just to be able to function after such a devastating loss.  He is right.  Few people truly understand the depth of grief, pain, and the hole left inside. 

There will be others to come soon and help you with specific resources to help you deal with the change that happens when your S.O. has to face this grief.  Please give him grace and space to sort out what he needs and does to cope with this devastating loss.  I hope you can also find relief in your pain as you also deal with this change. - Shalom

[kayc]

13 hours ago, PioneerUP said:

A couple weeks ago I lost my patience. He wasn't giving me much time to be together (we are a freshly new relationship) and I was fed up for the first time and we got into an argument about how we never spend time together. I regret everyday instigating that argument. Later on that day we talked about it in person, and we both established some things we both could try to benefit the relationship. He opened up to me a little bit to which I replied that he needs to choose whether he wants to get past this funk he is in in order to feel relatively normal again. He seemed very angry by my response and stopped talking to me.

The next day, he wanted to talk and he ended up breaking up with me. 

I don't know that the situation can get past this.  Please read the other threads in this section, you will notice that out of the hundred or so that have gone through this, only one made it through with the relationship intact and they didn't start out with pressuring the person right out of the chute, nor were they brand new relationships.

You see, when someone loses someone they are close to, it is hard hitting, very difficult to navigate, we all handle our grief differently, our timelines are different.  Many grievers do not feel they can handle a relationship at the same time as they are grieving.   You told him you'd be there for him and then just two weeks later you lost patience and put pressure on him.  That's not showing understanding for the long haul, which is what you'd told him you'd do.  It taught him he can't count on you to do what you say.

If you are looking for a "how to get him back" set of instructions, forget that.  I'm afraid he will not give you a chance again.  That may not be what you want to hear but it's the truth in a nutshell, hard truth yes, but the truth nonetheless.  It's a long shot.  

Your best bet is to focus on working on yourself, spend time with your family and friends, it would be a good time to hit the gym or sign up for classes, keep yourself busy.  Don't look for or expect him to come back to you.  There isn't a magic button you can "make" him change his mind.  He is heavy in the throes of grief!  It's going to take him a very long time to figure out how to do his life without his grandma (mother figure) in it.  He isn't likely to forget your reaction.  The best you can do at this point would be to learn something from this.  Perhaps learn not to react so quickly in anger. 

You say you have anxiety, that would be a good thing to work on.  Talk to your doctor about it, maybe learn to meditate, invite calmness into your life.  I am someone who has anxiety, there are a lot of tricks for learning to bring it under control.  Get help for this, it's a hard thing to deal with.  If he understands you have anxiety he can understand your response, but that does not mean he wants or needs to deal with it right now.  He has his hands full.  This will have to be something you work through yourself.

Even though you are in a new relationship, you may have deep feelings for him already, that means you are newly grieving the loss of this relationship, and for that, I am truly sorry.  If you busy yourself, work on yourself, you will likely make your way through this within a relatively short time.  Been there, it's hard, let yourself cry, let yourself feel the pain, there's no way to circumvent it, but do what you can to help yourself through it.  Get professional help if need be, that's what they're there for.