Heartbroken

[TeasingGeorgia]

Easter is almost here, and I'm missing my mom and dad so much.  Mom died April 12 last year, and was buried on Good Friday.  She never had the chance to open the special Easter basket my brother and SIL fixed for her that had the sonogram of her new grandbaby, a beautiful, precious boy born on December 4.  We were supposed to spend Easter as a family at Oschner in New Orleans, but she passed away instead.  I hate cancer.  It has wrecked so many lives.  My dad was heartbroken and we think her sudden death contributed to his.  He had COPD, diabetes, and other health issues, but his heart was broken.  We tried to mend it, but couldn't.  I still feel so guilty for not forcing him to go to the doctor.  Maybe they could have saved him.  All the joy has been sucked out of my life, and I feel so alone right now. My sister and her husband live up in Selmer, Tennessee, and my brother and SIL live over in Hattiesburg.  With my parents gone, I feel like I don't have a family anymore.  We are getting together for Easter, but in a few days, everyone will go back home, and I will be alone again in an empty house.  I wish the pain would go away.  But what I really want is my parents back.  I know God isn't punishing me, but sometimes it feels like he is.  

Thanks for listening,

TeasingGeorgia

[kayc]

You are approaching the one year anniversary of her death, it can be poignant.  I will be alone on Easter, I was alone on Christmas, it's hard.  I don't think we ever stop missing our parents, I know just yesterday I was missing my mom...and she's been gone 3 1/2 years.  I'm sorry your mom missed getting to open her Easter basket and learning the good news.  It's hard feeling like we're leaving them behind, continuing with our lives that they don't get to be a part of anymore.  But in a way they are...I talk to her sometimes, I remember her, and in a way we carry them with us in our hearts.

Enjoy being with your family on Easter, I know it goes fast, but try to stay in the present moment so you can fully enjoy it and not miss what is looking back or ahead.