I Lost My Mama Recently

[dreamangel_49801]

Thanks For this site ,I am willing to try anything to get me through tthis sadness...

My mom died April 18th In Florida,She was 68 and had a lengthy illness with 1st breast cancer then it spread to her spine and lungs...

I miss her soo much altho we were never as close as we should have been cause my parents were divorced when I was 6 and my Mom gav eme to my gram to raise and kept my 2 younger brothers now46 ,and 44..

I wasnt sure I could make it to the funeral even cause funds were so tight,however my father came thru and paid my bus ticket down to Kentucky, along 32 hours by bus but thats where Mama wante dto be buried ..clos eto her mom ,My gram who raised me and passed 3 year agao...

I guess I am just wanting to know whats normal?? I cryy so much now and yet at the funeral home etc ,I was soo strong and seemingly uncaring and never left her side...I feel so drained now, so confused and even mad at God and for me thats not good cause I am Mulsim and I need to do my prayers...

How can I when I'm mad at Allah??

and why cant my boyfriend Scott who's 38 be ther for me like I need him to be?I have helped him through so much and now when I need him most ,It feels like he still expects me to be strong...THANK God I have my kids ...they are 28 ,27 ,21 and 14....2 of each...at least they are here for me when I need uplifted...

[amanda]

hi,

Im really sorry for your loss,When you lose your mum no matter who you grew up with it is still a major blow.

What ive learnt from this site is that there is no right or wrong way to grieve but there are common symptoms.

Your boyfriend doesnt understand and untill he has a major loss in his life im afraid he wont.

It is the first anniversary of my mums death today and my husband has no idea what it is like.

No matter what religon you follow i think everyone doubts or blames god/allah so dont feel bad about it , it doesnt make you a bad muslim,I think any god/allah would see that there is special circumstances and be forgiving.

If you want to cry and CRY,If you cant dont worry.Its very early days for you,this site is great and the people on here are wonderful.

So welcome and keep posting as it does help.

loads of love and hugs

amanda

[shell]

Dreamangel,

Welcome to the site. Everything you're feeling is normal. My mom said that when her mom died she couldn't cry, that she handled all the arrangements and tried to be strong for her father. In the middle of the funeral she started crying and couldn't quit. So tears have their own time and nothing you can do will stop them...or start them. I think one thing we all agree on here is that crying is good. So cry all you want to.

You need to scan the posts here and read some of them. People not understanding your grief and not being there for you is a VERY common topic! Most of us have had the same problem with people in our lives too.

Check out the list of suggested reading on this site. Read as much as you can on grieving and you will see that what you are experiencing is normal, so don't worry about your feelings.

My deepest sympathies to you. Just go easy on yourself and let your feelings flow. It will get easier down the road, so hang in there.

Hugs,

Shell