kell84 Posted May 24, 2006 Report Share Posted May 24, 2006 im really glad to have found this sight. my mother died over thanksgiving weekend from complications of alzheimers diesease. from diagnosis to her death was 3 years. 5 mos in assisted living and the last 2 1/2 years in a nursing home. initially i felt a tremendous amount of relief. she had deteriorated so much in the last few months of her life that her quality of life was nill. in the last three years it felt like i lost bits and pieces of her along the way. i still vividly feel the hurt & devistation i felt the day i walked into her room and she said "im sorry i dont know who you are". the other piece of my puzzle is that in the last year of her life i started to really address my past issues w/ her. both her and my father (who died 8 years ago from a heart attack) were alcoholics. while i am on my own road to recovery in terms of that it is still very much a struggle to work on grieving her death. when i feel sad im almost perplexed by my emotions. because of her alcoholism it really prevented her from being a present, connected parent to me. i essentially had no relationship w/ her. but on the flip side when i am numb, i feel guilty like i "should" feel more than i do. in addition to all of this, i have also been dealing w/ and accepting the fact that my 3 yo son has asthma. since feb hes had one illness after another (which is his major trigger) so ive had many a scary days/nights worrying about him. yesterday i was just an absolute mess. my husband suggested that i go to the cemetary and it really helped to bring up some feelings. it also helped me find this site. anyway, thats my story. thanks for reading. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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