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My boyfriend lost his father so sudden.

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MY BF lost his father in 12.2019 suddenly and he got heart attack. We broke up in 01.2020 and I moved back to my country in 02.2020 in asia. He is in USA Now. But we stay in touch with each other until now. I didn’t feel like we broke up because we will say miss you, love you to each other. He still calls me baby, honey, sweetheart etc and we have plan to see each other after COVID19. Maybe recently I pushed too much pressure on our relationship and I didn’t realise he was grieving until now. I felt so bad and I wanted to help. I mean he didn’t really open his heart before like talking his feeling, sadness etc. Now he asked me to move on , not wasting my time, he is not emotionally available, he is not happy and can’t bring me happiness either. 

I love him so much.... I don’t mind waiting for him or be there for him. Is it part of grieving behaviour? I am so confused sometime. I hope someone can tell me what to do that can help me Go through tall these hard times with him. Thank you!!!

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I am so sorry you find yourself in this unwelcome position, no easy way about it.  Grief has a beginning but not an ending, although it does evolve throughout the journey.  Yes he is still grieving.  A certain segment of people are unable to do a relationship while grieving and it's extremely rare they ever pick that relationship back up...when you read through all of these threads here, hundreds, there's only one I remember than made it through this.  And no update a couple years later to see how it came out.  In other words, my guess is this relationship as is/was is no longer.  Perhaps he'll stay in touch as friends but only if he senses you are accepting of that, not if you are secretly wanting/hoping for more.  The calling you terms of endearment are likely from habit, he is very confused, but he has made it clear he no longer wants this relationship and I think it's important to accept that and let him have the space he needs.

It's not healthy to wait in the wings as it's self-deluding, false hope.  Best to face the facts and begin the healing process.  Easier said than done, I know, it's not the happy ending we all want and hope for.  Not what you want to hear.  But I won't give you false words, it's how I've seen this played out time and time again.

Do spend time with family and friends and keep busy, it will help you.  You will shed buckets of tears, I know I did in the ensuing months.  But it will also gradually begin to lessen in pain.  Sending you hugs from around the world.

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