Jenster Posted July 4, 2020 Report Share Posted July 4, 2020 Hi folks - I just joined this forum this week, after I had to euthanize my beloved pug mix, Clarabelle, due to collapsed trachea and congestive heart failure. She had been sick for two years, but took a sudden turn for the worse on Sunday and started refusing food, which meant I couldn't get her medications down her throat. On Monday she began vomiting uncontrollably. I took her to the vet, who said that she could probably stay alive for a while with daily injections, but that she would never be cured of these diseases. She also had severe arthritis in three of her leg joints. She was over 11 years old, and had lived an awesome life with me, so I made the incredibly painful decision to let her go. I held her as she died. Now all I can think of is the moment when her body went limp and she left me. I feel so lonely, and my apartment is so quiet. She went nearly everywhere with me, because she was my emotional support dog, so I miss her everywhere. She was the best companion, so loving and accepting and always ready to go with me wherever I wanted. But she had gotten so sick lately that it was hard for her to even walk outside and she was becoming reluctant to try. I don't have children, and I live over 2000 miles from my nearest family members, and I'm divorced and not dating anyone right now, so the loneliness is acute. I never felt lonely when she was here. I also feel like no one in the world needs me or would care if I weren't here, although I have caring friends and family. And I keep feeling something like fear. I'm not sure why. I've started being unable to sleep at night. I have to wait until it's light outside. I know I need help, and there is a pet loss grief support group here that I can join next week. I would appreciate any tips you have for getting through this terrible time. And yes, I know getting another dog would help, but I'm not ready to do that yet. I need time to mourn my Clara. Thanks in advance! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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