Hello Nile!

[Novi]

October 28, 2021

Nile,

I'm so glad I took you for that checkup today. You hated the car ride but loved the visit with the kind veterinarian. Even when she took your temperature you were so relaxed. I don't know that I would stay as composed having something put in my butt! 

You liked the new office too - you immediately found that little cubby in the wall and made yourself comfortable. It is a nice office. I think it is a big improvement compared to the last one. But it wasn't all bad, the last clinic. They might have had greed in their hearts but they did save your life when you needed emergency surgery in 2016. You were well looked after. 

Today you weighed in at 3.6kg, so you had gained just a little bit of weight since your last checkup a year ago. Good job!!

Edited December 12, 2021 by Novi

[Novi]

November 3rd, 2021 

Hi Nile,

I really thought everything was fine but the doctor called today with some bad news; you have stage 2 kidney disease and a urinary tract infection. You've always been prone to those infections, this is your third. You didn't show any signs this time that you were in pain. Tough little guy. You don't need to hide it, you know. But I get it. It's in your nature to hide any weakness. Let's just focus on getting you healthy, my little man. 

I'm staying late at work today since I'm already half way to the vet clinic from here. I'm going to take a nap in the lunchroom while I wait for them to open, then I will pick up your antibiotics. See you in the morning. I will expect my hello kisses at the door!

[Novi]

December 8th, 2021

Hello my little man. You did well during your follow-up appointment. This time you didn't mind the car ride but seemed nervous when we got to the vet clinic. Do you know something I don't?

You weighed in at 3.6 kg again. I was relieved because I thought you had maybe lost some weight. We can't have that. You're already so little. 

The doctor says you might have some muscle deterioration in your hind end. I thought I noticed a bit of an arch in your walk. I wasn't sure and I sometimes don't trust my perception because of my anxiety. I need to start listening to myself a bit more because I can't just dismiss signs like this. 

I requested an appetite stimulant since you're so picky with your food. I can't let you cheat anymore, not with your kidney disease. For now you're on a strict diet of kidney care food but your weight needs to come up, or in the least it has to stay the same. We'll see if a medication will help with that.

The doctor wants to do x-rays on your hips and legs to confirm the muscle wasting. I declined the x-rays today, I wanted to try a pain medication first to see if that helps because I really haven't noticed you struggle with climbing up on things or getting to your usual lounging spots. We have to report back to the doctor in 4 to 5 days to let her know how the meds are working out.

[Novi]

December 9th, 2021

Hello my sweetest little Nile,

I regret having consumed edibles today. It's my day off and I wanted to relax a bit, and watch tv. I like days where you, Sylvester and I sit on the couch like a bunch of lazy potatoes! But when I went to clean the litter boxes, I noticed 2 little droplets of blood on the floor just outside one of the boxes. Are you still suffering from that urinary tract infection? 
I called the vet right away to see how quick I could book you in. Too quick, they had one opening (with a different doctor) in one hour. I had to decline because I wasn't in any condition to drive. The guilt burned through me, you saw me cry, I know you did. I'm so sorry about this Nile. I have a list of numbers for emergency vets should things get worse, but for the time being I have you booked for Monday, December 13th at 1400.

I'm frustrated too because I don't understand how the doctor didn't know your infection wasn't gone when we saw her yesterday. Why didn't she suggest a urinalysis instead of an x-ray? Why did she tell the doctor that would have seen me within the hour that you needed an x-ray when this wasn't about your hind legs, but your infection? 
Of course, I'm not a doctor so I won't pretend to be an expert. I'm just wary because of what our last vet put Beck through. He suffered until his very last day on earth because of her greed. 

I won't let that happen to you Nile, I promise.

But at least your appetite meds are helping, you were so ravenous today. I've never seen a cat go to town on a loaf of bread like that... bad kitty!!! Going forward I will hide any non-feline food items from you... at least until you are near the end of your life. I will let you eat anything you want for treats because at that point it won't matter anyways.

[Novi]

Hey Sweetpuff,

I've decided I will for sure get those x-rays on Monday because if there is an issue we should start treating it now. And if there isn't any issues I will stop giving you the pain medication because I feel like it isn't doing anything except make you very drowsy and it is changing your mood and personality. I don't like it. I doubt you do. If the x-rays show you need pain meds then so be it, we will cross that bridge when we get there. 

I love you bud. So much!!!

[Novi]

Nile, 

Your appointment is in less than 12 hours. It's going to be a long day for me because i will barely get any sleep before my next shift, but that's okay I will just drink a little more coffee tomorrow night. It'll be worth it because I'm doing it for you.

I'm scared about the x-ray, I don't want more bad news. I have a bad feeling in my gut tho, and I hope it's just a bit of paranoia. You seemed okay before I left for work last night. You ate lots, you jumped from the top of the dresser all the way to my bed when I woke up so you could lay beside me for a bit. That was a good start to my day.

Even Sylvester was being kind to you, I think he knows you aren't feeling your best. He loves you, even if he has a strange way of showing it. We both love you.

See you when I get home, I hope you eat all your breakfast and if not, the vet said it's okay to add a bit of tuna juice to it. That works every time, you sure love your tuna!

[Novi]

Awww Nile, this morning you were so playful and affectionate. I wish i could have stayed up later with you but i had to get some rest for your appointment. 

I'm writing you now as they are taking a urinalysis and xrays. This waiting room is nice, I've never been in this one. It has a couch so while i wait for you i can be comfortable and maybe sneak a nap since they said the tests might take 30 minutes.

You weighed in at 3.85kg today! Good job!!!

See you soon little man.

[Novi]

Good news Nile!!!

No more pain meds! Although the x-rays did show very early onset of muscle deterioration but nothing to worry about right now. And also there was no sign of urinary issues, which is why she requested the x-rays too, so that answers my question about why she asked the doctor that would have filled in for her at the last minute for xrays as well as the urinalysis. It was an expensive day but worth every penny to put my mind at ease and know that you are okay. 

You were SO nervous both in the car and at the clinic yesterday... the vet told me you had a little accident on her.  It's okay tho, these things happen. She wasn't mad or anything, but she did collect a bit of it in case we need a stool sample later on. And you made my eyes water on the drive home when you let one rip, but I was happy it was just a fart and that I didn't have to endure the smell for the whole drive home!

So far now, no more car rides, but the clinic did say I can take you in for a complimentary weigh-in every two to four weeks, which is very kind of them. I will certainly take advantage of their offer since getting your weight up is very important right now. You are doing so well with everything and I'm very proud of you.  Looks like we will still have many more months together!

Love you!!!

[Novi]

Hi baby,

Although your health seems stable I want to continue writing you. I feel that it helps me somehow. 

It's so nice to see you eating a healthy amount now. The appetite stimulant is working very well. The doctor gave me more and I have non-stop refills too. We will see if we can get you to a nice, healthy weight. 

You've been back to your normal affectionate self too, even tho you seemed fine prior to your checkup in October, I can see now you weren't 100% yourself. Now you are Mr Nile again. The kidney care food and the Aventi powder I mix into it must be working well. 

You and Sylvester also enjoyed your cheese snack this morning, except now instead of a full tube for each of you, I give you each half of one. I don't think Sylvester minds that he's only getting half. I have to limit what I give you that isn't kidney care but I still want you to have snacks and those are your favourite (other than the string lace treats you loved but they've discontinued those for some reason.)

But once things are beyond repair with your health I will give you anything you want to eat. I want you to enjoy the last bit of your life as much as possible. I learned from Beck, because he loved LOVED food and he died eating medicated stuff he hated. By the time I realized it didn't matter he could barely eat anything at all. I took that joy from him and I regret that but the least I can do is learn from it. I know in my heart he forgives me. I was just trying to do my best even if I made some mistakes. If I learn from them, then it isn't in vain. 

[Novi]

Nile,

Never more than now do I wish you could speak. I'm torn... My brother has invited me over for Christmas and because you need medication and also need to have your food intake monitored, I would have to bring you with me. It's a four hour drive one way, and we would stay for two to three days. I really want to go and hang out with others for Christmas because I spend most of my time alone and the thought of spending Christmas alone makes my stomach hurt. But the thought of hurting you with the stress of a four hours drive there and then another four on the drive back, spending upwards of three days somewhere strange with a cat and a dog...

I know you don't like car rides and you take days to recover when I move into a new apartment (which thankfully hasn't happened for a long time now.) I would never forgive myself if this made your kidney disease worse, or if you changed because of this. I feel like I have to choose between my mental health and your well being.

I have to decide before the morning because as a Christmas gift my brother will pay for a rental car since mine needs repairs and leaving town with it is just not safe.

I love you Nile.

[Novi]

Well Nile, 

When I was off of work yesterday I hung around and waited so that way I could go to our vet's office and get the rest of your meds. I figured while I was there I would ask the doctor for a sedative, so the long drive north would be easier on you... ultimately it was whether or not I could get the sedative that would have the final say with this trip. Getting there first thing as they opened, the receptionist caught the doctor before she was going in to do a surgery and we got you the sedatives. 

I had a bad feeling about going but I got everything ready for you, Sylvester and Orangey. I was worried about leaving those two alone for so long. And of course, worried about how you would handle the trip. So when the car rental place called and said they could no longer accommodate the booking, I was both sad and relieved. 

I don't think we were meant to take this trip, Nile. We will spend a nice quiet Christmas together at home with the rest of our little family. 

 

[Novi]

It would seem that Sylvester is trying to be just like his older brother... at least I hope that's all it is. I know you have always been picky with your food, but why isn't Sylvester eating now? I sit at work hours worried about both of you. 

He's booked to see the doctor Friday morning so I guess we'll find out soon why he's not eating. If he wasn't acting like his regular rambunctious self, I would certainly be more concerned. Maybe I'll bring you too and the three of us can have a little field trip. I can check your weight at the same time.

[Novi]

It was so funny to see you and Sylvester this morning... the way you both reacted to me when I arrived home from work. Yes, that was dog you smelled, I was hanging out with a beautiful pitbull/boxer mix at work. Even though you looked confused and sniffed my face when I picked you up, I still got my hello kisses from you. I was deemed "acceptable" even though I was hanging out with another companion animal.

And good news Nile! No car ride on Friday, Sylvester ate today and he ate well! He was just a little plugged up poor little guy. I will get you weighed at the doctor's once the weather warms up. Keep up the good work with eating all your food... both you and little brother! 

[Novi]

Nile,

I never expected to start having health issues with your little brother but I suppose I always knew the possibility was there especially since he's had similar issues such as coming from a not so stellar home from birth, to having cryptorchidism just like yourself. It's okay though, I trust my vet so we will ensure you are both looked after.

I'm very glad you are still eating well and when I pick you up I can feel you've put on more weight. Love you much!

[Novi]

Nile,

I apologize ahead of time for the car ride that will happen tonight. I decided that since I have to drive to the vet to get your med refill, I would take you with me to have you weighed while there. You've been eating pretty well so I hope the weigh in will show progress. I do suspect you may be showing signs of dementia, but at least it doesn't happen often. I learned there is no treatment for dementia in cats. There's barely any treatment available for dogs as it is, and the science for cats is always half a decade behind dogs, sadly. One day at a time, Nile. We'll make sure you're always safe and warm, and as pain free as possible. 

Sylvester on the other hand, he is doing okay. I think he will have issues with constipation for his entire life. I was happy the blood on the litter box wasn't yours but sad that Sylvester was in obvious pain. I've been looking online for remedies and I'm going to ask the vet tonight for advice as well. Maybe there is a special kind of food he should be on, just like yourself. 

[Novi]

You weighed in at 4.08kg, you've gained over a pound on this medicine. Keep up the good work little man!!! 

[Novi]

Hi Nile,

Tomorrow morning we're taking you for blood work, urinalysis and a weigh in. I'm hoping for good news! I know you won't be happy but I'll be sure to give you treats when it is all said and done. 

Love you much 

[Novi]

Nile,

Took a while to get your results back, the vet was sick with the flu. I hope she makes a complete recovery. But she finally called today and told me that your nearing the end of stage 2 kidney disease. You also have low potassium so she is going to prescribe a supplement. It's not great news but it could be worse. At least your weight is the same. I might need to make an effort to wake up mid-day to give you an extra meal to try and help you gain just a little more. 

Sylvester's 2nd birthday is in a week so I will have to come up with a creative way to make a cake you can both share. Or maybe this time I will make you each your own, I know you love tuna but you can't have too much of it. Maybe I will make him a cake with the tuna and drain the water and mix that in your cake. I'll come up with something that you will both enjoy. 

Love you! XOXO

[Novi]

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. I don't want to lose you. You're the last of my trio and once you are gone it will mark the end of an era. So much has changed since I got you 15 years ago and you are the last familiar thing in my life. I'm afraid that when I lose you I will also lose a part of myself. I'm sorry to both you and Sylvester for all the tears the last two days, I'm trying not to be sad because I know it will affect your health. 

I'm still waiting for the potassium supplement. I also ordered you a different kind of kidney care food that I'm confident you will enjoy. You now have 4 different kinds so there's no way you will get bored of your food!

I am forever grateful to the 26-year-old me that took you home in a spur of the moment decision. It turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. If I could I would hug her and thank her for bringing you into my life. 

I promise I will stay brave for you Nile. I'm very happy to see your little brother is being gentle with you too. I love you and I will be home in 7 hours. I will expect my hello kisses at the door!

[Novi]

Nile,

Thank you for making it easy for me to give you your meds. You are just like your big brother Beck, there was never any fight to give him pills or fluids either. I hate giving you that pill though because I know you hate it. I think that the potassium supplement is helping too, you seem to have more energy these days.

I'm proud to be your mum. 

Happy mother's day to any moms reading this. 

[Novi]

We got very lucky today that your follow up appointment was at 5 this afternoon, and even luckier that the wonderful vet could get us in sooner. This is now your fourth UTI and because you were sick and hid behind the door... I'm so sorry I hurt you when I opened the door Nile. You can't even begin to know how guilty I feel. I hope the pain meds help and aren't too hard on your kidneys. If I could have one wish it would be that you live until your next birthday this October. I would like to make you one last birthday cake.

I love you. 

[Novi]

You're a tough little man, Nile. I am SO glad to see you back to your normal self today. The antibiotics are working well. 

We need to work on your weight though, you lost half a pound since your last weigh-in. You're now at 3.88kg. Let's get that back over 4kg over the next few weeks.

Looks like the Feliway Friends is helping too. I know Sylvester just wants to play with you but you don't need that extra stress right now. 

[Novi]

It's the first time for as long as I can remember that you eat an entire can of food in a single sitting! Good job Nile! The fact you still have an appetite gives me hope.

We still need to get those potassium levels up though, the vet said. You're just a touch below the normal levels. Hopefully the increase from 0.25ml to 0.40ml will help. 

Love you to the moon and back!

[Novi]

Nile,

We have another follow-up appointment this Friday. I really hope your potassium levels are up and that your weight has at least maintained... although when I pick you up now I can feel how skinny your legs are. I know kidney disease usually comes with muscle deterioration of the legs; at least that's what the vet told me. Your belly is bigger than ever though and you still have a very good appetite. You still make it so easy for me to give you your two medications. 

Sometimes when you're not watching I cry because I'm so scared to lose you. It's hard to imagine my life without you there. You, Sphinx and Beck were a constant in my life for many many years and now that chapter is going to come to an end. I hope it isn't too soon. I'm just afraid I'll come home from work one day and you will have done a 180. The last time you and I saw the vet she told us that your disease had advanced to stage 3 so I need to be realistic about things. I try not to think of it too much but I also can't live in denial either. That will just make it worse for me I think.

I also think it's funny how I spend a little money on myself sometimes and I hesitate, but when it comes to you I don't even ask how much... you mean the world to me and it doesn't matter the cost as long as you are healthy enough to enjoy being with me still. 

Love you always and forever

[Novi]

Happy birthday Nile!!! I got my wish and you are still here with me. I'm so grateful and I can't wait to make you your birthday cake. I know you'll enjoy it because your appetite is still so good. You have to share with Sylvester though, but I know you won't mind. I always say you are soft both inside and out...

I'm going to put sardines on it this time too, I'm surprised I didn't think of that before. I wish I didn't have to work but we will have a tiny celebration this morning. 

You're such a tough little guy, maybe just maybe there will be a cake next year too!

Love you lots!