This has been (2021)

[Ztyu123]

This has been the worst year of my life...
So far.

As a mocking reminder 
A reminder to solidify 
That you're not 
That we're not
Together 
Right now
Currently 
I have to listen to the fireworks and be scared without you.
There won't be any new picture of us tonight to bring in this new year
We won't get to hold each other and fall asleep in each other's arms.
My arms are just constantly empty
I just don't care about much of anything anymore. 
I hate myself for wanting you here when you were soo sick. (I just wish that I could know that you were happy, loved, and okay now)
I hate myself for not being able to save you.
I hate myself for not being able to provide a better life for you

I hate myself  because I'm not with you now

I hate it all
Now
I hope that you have someone and/or something to hold you tonight and further on.

Since I can't anymore 
Since I cant anymore 
Since I can't anymore 

[My beautuful Tiger]

On 1/1/2022 at 5:09 AM, Ztyu123 said:

hate myself for wanting you here when you were soo sick.

I totally get it. Tiger gave me 12 years of selfless love. I am the selfish one. He was soo sick. But I wish he was here.

[My beautuful Tiger]

On 1/1/2022 at 5:09 AM, Ztyu123 said:

I just wish that I could know that you were happy, loved, and okay now)

I also wish.....