Difficult pet health situation

[zazomi76]

In December of 2021, after 7 years of living without a kitty, I decided to adopt a senior cat to come and live with me and my senior pup (12 year old chiweenie). About a week in to kitty being here, I noticed she was having potty issues. I took her to a vet who did some blood work to rule out thyroid and kidney issues (she has none) and gave me a low dose of lactulose to give her and sent us on our way. At this point I did not know about mixing it in with wet food and was trying to get it down her throat manually. This started a bit of mistrust between kitty and I when we should have been bonding. That dosage didn't wind up helping anyway and we wound up at an emergency clinic 5 days later because she was so constipated and had only been dropping tiny nuggets. They wound up sending us home because she was stable as opposed to the other pets there (totally understandable!).

So I made an appointment at my dog's vet the next day (thankful for vets open on Sundays!) and kitty got a much needed enema, a new meds structure (where I put the lactulose in her food 3x a day, give her cisapride in the morning), and a surgical consult referral (vet felt a stricture in her rectum).  Well, new meds structure doesn't really work for me (3x a day super stinky food with a food motivated dog at home gave me massive anxiety) or her (did not help move the poo out very well) and a week later she is back in for another enema. We adjust med structure again to fit my schedule and help her and wait until surgical consult day.

Surgical consult day arrives 2 weeks later, we go, and the specialist says she feels no stricture and that the cat has idiopathic megacolon. She adjusts the med structure again so I don't need to use the sticky lactulose (we are now on Miralax) and sends us on our way. At least we don't need surgery! Yet. This all happens in a span of 30 days. I continue with most updated meds structure and over the next two weeks take notice of what's happening with her. At the same time during these two weeks, I notice my dog starting demonstrating some odd behaviors for him. I find out last week that he is diabetic is now going to have to take insulin injections 2x a day for the rest of his life. And, I had called the vet about kitty not pooping like she should be (it was a mega poo every 4 days at that point with several small/medium turds daily in between) so we adjust her meds again and in one day she has now started literally oozing/leaking poop all over my house (they are mostly formed, but very soft and gross). She now also has an appointment this week to get an ultrasound so we can see what's actually going on in there. 

I am so frickin' stressed about what to do with this cat. She is so adorable and sweet and loving, but I cannot handle the poop everywhere and the cost is WAY more than I had even imagined for a new pet who wasn't flagged with any issues at the shelter. I'm stressing about whether I can handle all of this or should I rehome her? And now my sweet little boy has diabetes and he's not feeling well as we wait for the insulin to arrive so we can start that process of getting his dosage correct. I've started pre-grieving and it's just so much in such a short period of time...and this is just the pet related situation on top of other things going on in life (new boss, sister leaving alcoholic partner, aging mother, my own health...). I am crying nearly daily from guilt about maybe letting the cat go, guilt about wanting to kind of keep her because she is very sweet, guilt about not wanting to be this deep into caregiving for an animal I just met, fear about not being able to take care of my pup in his time of need, fear something will happen to me from the stress of trying to manage this all.

(Side note, I am going to therapy once a week right now to help me cope and manage some of this, just wanted a specific support group to hear from others about ideas or thoughts on what to do.)

Many thanks in advance.

[kayc]

I had a cat that was incontinent his last two years of life, he became an outdoor cat replete with 30 ft patio, heated house and bed, a porch swing to lay on where I'd go out and spend time with him.  Oddly enough, he didn't lose control on the patio, just in the house.  He lived 19 years, was a very sweet cat, I felt bad but it's hard to handle the smell in your house.  Dogs don't begin to have the cat's odor.  I've had them be incontinent and I just cleaned it up, but he'd go diarrhea all over the outside of the litter box and on the carpet and the pee smell is atrocious.  I hope you find a solution.  And I'm glad you've found therapy.  I live in tthe country, there is no help here.

[zazomi76]

@kayc Thank you for sharing your story about your kitty. What a lot to go through. =( It is difficult, especially since it's just me to clean and feed and care. I'm counting my blessings that this isn't pee related yet. That's the worst! 

Also, I've started online therapy at betterhelp.com, mainly because I could easily put in criteria and then they match me with a therapist instead of me having to hunt around to find one. They don't take insurance, but they do take HSA. Just thought I'd share!

[kayc]

He had a good life with us, even if he had physical issues at the end, I still miss him and he's been gone 15 1/2 years, a year after my husband.  He was a great family cat.  

What's HSA?

[zazomi76]

I hear you. I miss my big 22 lb kitty every day and he's been gone for 8 years now. 

I did make the decision this morning to surrender the cat. Have been crying all morning and will be leaving shortly to take her in.

 

HSA - health savings account

[kayc]

I am so sorry, I know you will be grieving the loss.  It would be my hope that someone would find help for this kitty, if the incontinence can't be controlled, perhaps a set up like I had with my King George.  (((hugs)))