Chocolate Posted October 19, 2022 Report Share Posted October 19, 2022 It's a doubly whammy when your best friend is your soulmate and suddenly they are gone. Suddenly doesn't have to mean they all at once died. Suddenly just means, no matter how long the death process took, all at once no one lives in that body anymore. I miss sharing my thoughts and ideas with my friend/husband/sweetheart. I was/am far closer to him than I ever was to any of my other friends. I have had other dear friends die, and with some of my friends who are still alive, I wonder if anyone will let me know they are gone. When it comes to handling the situation at the time of a death, often family members are so overwhelmed that "friends" get left out of the contact list. The older a person gets the more this is true. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 21, 2022 Report Share Posted October 21, 2022 So true, and I felt this way when my sister died, she was always in my life and we lived in the same town 45 years, she may have been disabled and had dementia (a challenge!) but she (in her lucid times) was my best friend. It's good for us to make a list of contacts with our will so people will be contacted when it's our time to go... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chocolate Posted October 21, 2022 Author Report Share Posted October 21, 2022 5 hours ago, kayc said: So true, and I felt this way when my sister died, she was always in my life and we lived in the same town 45 years, she may have been disabled and had dementia (a challenge!) but she (in her lucid times) was my best friend. It's good for us to make a list of contacts with our will so people will be contacted when it's our time to go... A lot of dementia is caused by the multiple medications we take in our older years. They can interact negatively with each other and leave us in a fog. I studied that in college. It's still the same. There's no way to let the family members of my friends know that I need to be contacted when they die. I have no access to them. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 22, 2022 Report Share Posted October 22, 2022 And I have articles on reversing it with diet...she wasn't interested. I didn't know about it when my mom had it. Peggy had a passive suicide wish, never took care of herself, retired at 49 and stayed in her easy chair and ate what she wanted...but all the more so after her husband passed. I miss her, so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 22, 2022 Report Share Posted October 22, 2022 7 hours ago, Chocolate said: There's no way to let the family members of my friends know that I need to be contacted when they die. I realize that, preaching to the choir...all we can control is our own will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chocolate Posted October 22, 2022 Author Report Share Posted October 22, 2022 16 hours ago, kayc said: And I have articles on reversing it with diet...she wasn't interested. I didn't know about it when my mom had it. Peggy had a passive suicide wish, never took care of herself, retired at 49 and stayed in her easy chair and ate what she wanted...but all the more so after her husband passed. I miss her, so much. 16 hours ago, kayc said: I miss my sister too. She needed to dump her husband and find someone else. She stayed and it took a hit on her health. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 22, 2022 Report Share Posted October 22, 2022 I'm sorry to hear that. Peggy didn't begin to appreciate her husband until he died, I'd tried to tell her but it fell on deaf ears...until it was too late. Alas that's the way many learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chocolate Posted October 22, 2022 Author Report Share Posted October 22, 2022 For my sister was a matter of having been raised that it was a sin to get a divorce. Her husband fooled around. He robbed her of her self-esteem and a number of other things. He did take good care of her as she was dying, but.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 23, 2022 Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 Except in such circumstances as cheating. I am sorry for your sister but thankful she's out of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chocolate Posted October 23, 2022 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 4 hours ago, kayc said: Except in such circumstances as cheating. I am sorry for your sister but thankful she's out of it. I'm telling you the way we were raised. I know what the Bible says about this. So many things get interpreted the way whoever is reading it reads. The person could get a divorce, but not remarry. I abandoned the beliefs. She did not. I won't get into a religious discussion here. She lost herself because of it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 24, 2022 Report Share Posted October 24, 2022 I couldn't agree with you more, I'm sorry she suffered because of it. It also says to let the unbelieving depart. I did. Not held hostage in such situations. Just don't want others getting the wrong idea about Christians, we aren't all the same. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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