My beautuful Tiger Posted January 14, 2023 Report Share Posted January 14, 2023 They say time heals...im not sure i truly believe that. It has been 1 year to date since you passed away. Winter is the same and I felt peacful visiting you today..I hate you being outside in the cold..I hate that I cant hold you..just..one more time. Sometimes I feel you was a test for me and I cant help wonder if im failing and if it was all for nothing....my heart hurts and have never felt or can compare anything to this heartbreak...like nothing can break me the way this has broken me...I pause sometimes when i open the door and in that moment my heart fills with hope that you will be there always looking at me through the glass. I always hoped you would outlive me. That I would be the one that would go first. Selfishly i wanted that so i always thought that i wouldnt then need to deal with this loss...but then now im living it..im kind of relieved that it was me who held you in your last moments and no one else. I think about how scared you must have felt...I blamed myself for not remembering every detail...Tiger...I miss you more than i can ever put into words....I miss everything we had..our bond...our cuddles...I love you Tiger..honestly forever. Xxxx 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 15, 2023 Report Share Posted January 15, 2023 I remember Marty saying time does nothing, it's what we do with it that counts. True, I've read articles, books, posted on forums and read other's responses, walked my neighbor's dog for ten months (until a hard yank and a severe bite did me in), got another puppy (and adore him) but in reality there is a lot of grief left to live with. I've already been to grief counseling (when my husband passed) and I've led grief support groups. I painted rocks for Arlie's grave, created a memorial place for him and attended his grave site. I have found it's me alone that lives with the memories and missing him... Thinking of you as you are going through this... 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Novi Posted January 16, 2023 Report Share Posted January 16, 2023 I was there until mine took their last breath too... I would never have it any other way. It hurts to be there but I just couldn't imagine leaving them there alone and afraid while they transitioned into the last and final phase of what is life. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
My beautuful Tiger Posted January 17, 2023 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2023 On 1/14/2023 at 6:47 PM, My beautuful Tiger said: They say time heals...im not sure i truly believe that. It has been 1 year to date since you passed away. Winter is the same and I felt peacful visiting you today..I hate you being outside in the cold..I hate that I cant hold you..just..one more time. Sometimes I feel you was a test for me and I cant help wonder if im failing and if it was all for nothing....my heart hurts and have never felt or can compare anything to this heartbreak...like nothing can break me the way this has broken me...I pause sometimes when i open the door and in that moment my heart fills with hope that you will be there always looking at me through the glass. I always hoped you would outlive me. That I would be the one that would go first. Selfishly i wanted that so i always thought that i wouldnt then need to deal with this loss...but then now im living it..im kind of relieved that it was me who held you in your last moments and no one else. I think about how scared you must have felt...I blamed myself for not remembering every detail...Tiger...I miss you more than i can ever put into words....I miss everything we had..our bond...our cuddles...I love you Tiger..honestly forever. Xxxx I looked out in the garden today and i filled with sadness. The flowers that I laid on your grave a few days ago have frosted over because of the weather. It makes my heart sad.I miss you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 17, 2023 Report Share Posted January 17, 2023 That's how I feel when it snows on Arlie and Kitty's graves. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
My beautuful Tiger Posted January 17, 2023 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2023 I hate the thought him being outside in the cold while im warm inside😔 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 19, 2023 Report Share Posted January 19, 2023 His body is there but his spirit is in that next place...I hope it helps you to know they are happy and at peace now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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