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I cancelled my  appointment today because it's right across the street from one of our favorite places to walk daily.

I got extremely triggered, riddled with anxiety, and broke down in pieces...melted in a puddle..

I lost you again when you escaped my eyes.

I would have had to be there without you...

I'll never be ready...

Life is nothing without you.

Please come and take me with you...or give me directions..

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I feel your pain for I'm going through the grieving process now. I don't know what kind of appointment you canceled, but if it is for grief recovery...GO!

YES, there will be pain and despair. Oh, I know about pain when it comes to the loss of close pets. I've seen my father cut one of my dog's throat when I was 21. I saw him stab to death another when I was 8. 

Yes, I am a different person after euthanizing my best friend, but I must continue. We cannot fall over dead physically because we wish too. We can die though mentally.

That is why I am fighting by writing my books and knowing, I WILL save and LOVE another soul as my Bambaloo would have wanted. She is NOT over a rainbow, but walks with me spiritually. She is in me. I realize I cannot bring her back physically. It's impossible no matter how much we cry, wish, and want to die. Promises to God or the Devil to make deals doesn't work either.

So, I hope I don't sound mean, because I know you are suffering. DON'T GIVE UP! Think of what YOUR pet wanted for YOU to do. Love another or suffer?

D ~

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