Loss Of A Child

[chip]

I lost my 29 year old daughter on the 11th of january this year.this is the first time I've been able to speak of this on any type forum as i had hoped id be able to deal with the loss by myself with the love and support of my wife and my faith in god but ive found that im not dealing with the loss as well as i had hoped and am now getting help for depression and had a councelor recommend going to a group but i am apprehensive about speaking of this in front of others. I feel as if this is probably the best mode for me to deal with my loss for now as I have been reading about the other's who have lost a loved one and are suffering as I am and hope this will in some way be theraputic for me.My daughter died of congestive heart failure in january leaving five beautiful children but unfortunately i have no influence on their welfare as thier fathers have custody now and all I can hope for is a chance to see them on occasion. I was divorced from my ex for about a year after thirty years of marriage, when this happened and was remarried exactly 1 month after her death.I have slowly been losing all energy and ability to focus and concentrate on most things outside my work and on the day she died I quit driving truck over the road and have been home ever since.I had no kind of closure as I didnt even get a chance to see her after she died as my ex had her cremated that day as per her wishes as I'm told.many things have happened but it is my relationship with my wonderful loving wife I am most concerned about. she has been so supportive but must be feeling so neglected by my lack of interest and affection in many cases that has me most concerned.I welcome any recommendations and assistance from all who read this.thanks[attachmentid=82]

[Laurie]

Chip, I'm so sorry about your beautiful daughter. It's good that you are here with us now. It helps to "talk" about things and we all understand eachother. We all have our own different stories, but they all hurt. Read what others have written and write whatever you feel. We all seem to be on a roller coaster, some days are OK some are very bad. But write either way. The only thing I can say about your wife is don't block her out. I'm sure she loves you and wants to comfort you, and I'm sure it's hard for her to see you in this pain. Just don't pull away from her to try to deal with it alone. I think if I were her, that's what I'd want--- to be there for you, comfort you, and let you lean on her. Laurie

[gabrielle_land]

Chip,

I'm very sorry you had to go through the lost of your beutiful daughter, my heart aches with yours, it is indeed a very tough thing to deal with and time means nothing to all the pain you've been deal with such a loss. As Laurie said, we all have different stories here, but we are here for the same reason, and so please feel free to express yourself and share your grief with us. We all know what losing a loved one is, and so we will understand you and try to help as we are able to. Just posting and sharing your feelings with others can help alot. It's good to know you have a loving wife who's there for you, try to share your grief with her too, I'm sure she wants to support you in every way, try not to block yourself to her, you are lucky to have her, having understanding people around while grieving is a very important thing. Take good care of yourself, and blessings to you and your wife,

Gaby

[Bev Jeanne]

I lost my son on the 15th of September and at first I thought that I could do it on my own but was very wrong. Someone gave me the local Hospice number and I called to speak to a grief counselor thinking nothing they could say could help me but I was wrong. This wonderful lady helped me to understand that there are no time limits on grieving, there are no mistakes because we all grieve in our own way and time.

My husband has always been my rock, the one who made things right but he is in no better shape than I am. We cry together, we hold on to one another trying to understand where our life is going. Our lives changed in an instant and although we are blessed with one son still on this earth and 5 grandchildren nothing will ever replace Daimon.

Daimon left us with 2 teenager and a wonderful daughter in law. I have discovered that there are now 2 types of people those of us who have lost children and those who cannot understand. Someone we know who lost a child insisted that we attend a group meeting for parents who have lost children and that has helped us to understand that many of the feelings we are experiencing are "normal", they understand that we cry at in approiate times, that we want to talk about our son.

[STARKISS]

Hi Chip,

I am so very sorry for your loss, What a beautiful daughter you had.. I wish I could tell you I knew how you felt but I can not all I can offer is a big hug and a good listening ear for you... I am also going to say a special prayer for you and your family to help you through this very difficult time.. Take care and God Bless You Shelley