Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups



Recommended Posts

January 11th and while I've gotten to the point where I have more good days than bad, I'm still so busted up. Malcolm was diagnosed with osteosarcoma May 2004 and we had to amputate his right front leg a month later. Chemotherapy followed but this cancer is a particularly nasty and aggressive type and metastisizes in 90% of the cases as his did August of last year.

He fought hard as was his spirit and I stayed with him day and night. When he lost his appetite for dog food, I became his personal chef. He was given a month to live but I was blessed with five good months and by the fact that he died peacefully in my arms.

I can't honestly say I've handled the loss well... it's been tough. Though he wasn't my blood, he was my boy and I believe everyone on this site understands that. At least I'm able to talk about it now and share his great spirit with others. I've published some movies about him on youtube and if you're interested, you can find them using the search terms, "hudson and murphy". Murphy's his brother and I finally got a new Pyrenees for him. They get along famously but I know Murphy, too, still misses Malcolm.

I'm on this site now because I believe I can be a friend to those who haven't passed through the eye of the storm yet and lend support to those who don't want to go through it alone. I did and I regret it. Thanks for reading this post and my very best wishes to you.




Link to comment
Share on other sites


I am so sorry for you loss. I know how hard this is. I wanted to tell you my dog story.

I lost my mom Dec.7th and that night I had to put my Bernese Mountain Dog to sleep..it was a total surprise and a horrible shock. Someone told me once they believe a person can own many dogs in their life-time ,love them all, but every once in a while a person is lucky enough to have a dog that is their soul-dog. Ripley was mine.He was my shadow and such a huge comfort to me,during my mom's illness. The part I wanted to tell you was, I have started looking at different breeds, maybe a puppy in the spring. I came across a Pyrenewf(sp) I love both those breeds and thought it would be fun to have a dog with 2 of my favorite breeds! Do you know anything about these? Was it hard for you to get another puppy? Especially the same breed? I don't think I could get another Bernese..Just wanted to tell you how sorry I am.

Malcolm was a beautiful dog.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for your kind reply, Annie, and I'm very sorry for your losses. I, too, believe a dog can be your soulmate as Malcolm was without doubt mine. I love Hudson and Murphy and there's nothing I wouldn't do for them but it's not the same. I think the man who wrote Marley and Me referred to it as a lifetime dog. Likewise, I wrestled with getting another Pyrenees after Malcolm passed away and researched the Bernese. I came across a startling site that said for some reason, the breed had become very prone to cancer and their lifespan had been reduced from 10-12 years for normal large breeds to 6-8 years. Truly tragic.

I'm not familiar with the Newfoundland mix and couldn't find anything on the Internet but since the breed came from a mix between Pyrenees and the English Black Lab, it sounds strange. It took me 8 months to get a new brother for Murphy but I'm glad I finally did. I love all shapes and kinds but for me, I'll never have another breed. The Pyrenees have such profound personalities and great spirits. If you do decide on a Pyr, find one that's been raises around farm animals since birth. Hope that helps and good luck to you. All my best....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you, Malcolm's Dad, for joining us here and for offering your loving service to those of us in the same boat. Yes, your relationship with your fur-son is more than understood here. I had a feline son and feline daughter as well, so well understand your sorrow over your own loss of Malcolm and offer my sincere condolences in his passing.

I, too, kept at least my daughter, Nissa, going longer than either of her docs thought...though I can't say the same for her brother...so I've had some of each scenario. But when that happens, it's a treasure to hang onto, that's for sure.

While I've gone through many losses in the last few years, it is the passing of my Little Nis' that's now my focus, and worst one to date, for many reasons, so your offer of friendship is very welcome. Just as I've heard it is with childbirth (never had kids, so don't know myself), with grief we tend to somewhat 'forget' the very hardest parts of intensity...until the next loss comes along to remind us. But even then, they're all somewhat, or a lot, different, and so we still need those who've come farther along to help remind us of how the first year's journey was. So thank you for being here now and I hope you'll share more of your story with us.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear Malcom's Dad,

Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. I am so sorry for your loss, and for the pain your suffered, and esp for having to go through it alone. But I am glad that you are here now.

And you are absolutely right-we all totally understand when you say he was your boy and your dogmate. I had to put down my female dog, Tawny, 6 months ago. She wasn't even 2 yet, but she had kidney failure. Her littermate, Tanner, is still with us and so far so good, but I do worry for him also, in case this is hereditary (We don't know the cause for sure and never will). We too got him a companion, also from the same parents. They are miniture-daschund/corgi mixes, and even though Sweet Pea (the puppy) is from the same parents (the possible hereditary link?), I got her because they are just the best dogs I've ever had. I didn't obviously wait as long as you (we are all different in that!),l but I believe it helped Tanner, and I know it also helped me! I also have more good days now than bad, but it was a devastating loss. As Maylissa was also sharing, I have had many (far too many) losses in the past year and a half-both of my parents died only 7 weeks apart-and yet Tawny's loss was by far the most devastating.

Anyway thanks again for sharing and jumping aboard. We welcome your imput on this very difficult, painful process.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...