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7 Year Anniversary


Maylissa

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Today marks 7 long years since my beloved boy had to go, back from whence he came. Over the last couple of years, I barely had time to devote much to his anniversaries, what with Nissa's continual care/needs. But this time, I've got all the time in the world :( ....to stop and pause, to remember my boy. His loss seems that much worse, without his dear sister here to keep me centered in the present, and with her loss still so fresh, adding to the loneliness. I can't believe it's been this long already! I recall a few particular lines from a poem (for dogs) we have hanging in a frame....

" ....The years went by so fast, somehow." (Nancy Brevak) Both our years together, and the ones since his departure.

So today I remember once again, my heart heavy, the first biggest loss of my life....my Boo-Boo, my Bud, my soulmate and greatest teacher...Sabin. If not for him, we all would have missed out on the best and most precious years of our lives. It was his earnest insistence to leap into my husband's arms that clinched the 'deal' for me, to welcome BOTH him and his sister into my heart and our home. How could I not? His presence was huge, from the very first day. He was the fearless leader, the caretaker of all of us, the wise old soul who made me grow, loved me so completely and boundlessly and awoke something in my soul that had been dormant for so long in my life. He never stopped giving of his heart, even up to the last moments of his life, when he chose to fight his terrible pain to come out of hiding and be with me, his Mom. I will never forget the last, deep gaze into each other's eyes, when I told him I loved him....there was nothing more needed, our hearts so full with our intense love for each other. Our eyes said it all.

7 long years.....and yet, wasn't it just yesterday?....

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Thanks, Lori. This Mom's bias notwithstanding, yes, Sabin was one beautiful boy, and in so many ways. I now walk around the house, not able to believe fully that it's completely cat-personless....that will never seem right at ALL. He and his sister are in my blood, but to not hear them calling me, or see their wondrous forms here now, or be able to touch them...I feel like I'm living on a completely different planet, one I never asked to travel to. I would have much preferred to stay in my REAL home. Sabin did manage to send me his number today though....as he so often does when I ask him to be with me. Our love is still there, even if not as tangibly felt.

It hasn't been very long for you, losing Spanky only about 4 months ago (soon after I lost Nissa), and I know it's so hard to accept, or even resign oneself to a fur-child's absence. At least they got to feel our parental love for them, though, while they were here. But for the Grace of God, they could have ended up with someone who didn't bond with them in the same ways we did...but we gave them that, and they gave us so much more in return.

Edited by Maylissa
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