I Just Can't Seem To Get A Grip

[Geri]

Roseanne

I know just how you feel, when I was caring for my friend Brenda that the hospice nurse took one look at me and sent me home in a cab. She made arrangements for someone else to come in for a couple of days. You just get to the point where you can't keep it together and by all rights. Caring for someone is very difficult and when you love them its even harder. You are not alone we all have our limits. The trick is to recognize when its getting to be to much. I hope you and your father are doing better.

Take good care

Geri

[Geri]

Well here I am again (Geri)

I have been wrestling with this delima all the while and never said anything because again I'm feeling kinda nuts. My friend who passed Brenda had a cat that was pregnant during the time of my caring for her. well when it came time for kitty to have her kittens she was having a very hard time. She is a small cat and was huge, so I called the humane society and they came and got her and helped her have her kittens.(5) usually when they come and get your animal like that you have to surrender that animal to them to fix and put up for adoption. Well I know a wonderful lady at the humane society and they let me foster the mom and kittens because of Brenda. Well they were a great distraction for Brenda and me since I am a cat person and have some of my own. Now I have this thing in my head that if I take these kittens back now they will be so betrayed and I won't have this distraction anymore or a purpose (caring for them) and I'm going to just fall apart even though I still have my owwn kitties I feel like I am detaching from Brenda. Is this wacked or what?? I love these kittens so muched they are so special in the way that its like they knew what brenda and I needed. I feel like I'm abandoning them. I can't imagine them there in cages wondering what happen to their home the only thing they know and I know they will miss me. We are all very close. This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Yes Wacked!!!

[shell]

Geri,

You are not wacked at all! Please keep the kittens and mama if you possibly can. I have ten cats inside that never go out. They were all strays and it takes some work, but you can manage it. Hardest part is introducing them to your own cats, but if you do it slowly, it will work out. I also have a ton of new strays outside that I am trying to catch and get to the vet for shots and to be fixed. They will have to stay outside kitties, which I really hate, and hope someday they may be able to come in. I just literally don't have the room for them inside! They are my whole life and give me a reason to go on. I have always loved animals and luckily our whole family did. So, please keep your kitties and the mom. Since you have your own cats, you probably don't need amy advice, but if you do, PM me if you have some problems you can't seem to work out. I'm so glad you love them so much!

Hugs,

Shell

[Geri]

Hi Shell

I would give anything to keep the momma and kittens but I am obligated to the humane society and my friend that volinteers there to to surrender them so they can get the money for their adoption and make sure they are all fixed. I can't afford to get them all fixed and it has to be done or I will have kitties coming out of my ears. Everyday I put it off one more day its going to kill me to do this but I don't know what else to do. I am going to miss them so bad I cry just thinking about it.

Besides all of this to deal with one of my very close friends was murdered the other night. He was shot down by some wacko he didn't have a chance to do anything but die. The more time that goes by the less I understand. It was such a senseless act. He was at my house the night before it happened. He and my what ever he is had had a faling out and he came to make amends. How weird is that, he and his girlfriend and us we had a very nice evening and then the next night gone, 3 blocks away from my house. I am more numb than I have ever been and I didn't thimk that was possible. It just keeps hitting me he's GONE. Iv'e experienced alot of death of friends and family in the last 2 years, but all have been from natural causes this is a whole new ballgame.

Its different when you see someone just fine and doing what they do and then their GONE. Its like stepping off a cliff. I just want to scresm or something I don't know. I just don't know !!

[shell]

Geri,

It's too bad you can't keep the kitties. I don't know what else to say about that.

Someone who is gone because of murder is a whole different ballgame, huh? I'm so sorry this happened! The more I see of the world we live in today, the more I just want to hide under my bed! Nothing seems to make sense anymore, and just when you think things are "settling", wham...something else happens. It gets harder and harder to hang in there, but I guess we don't really have any other choice! Sorry again for your most recent loss.

Hugs,

Shell