Reading About 40 Years Of Love)

[teny]

So much pain in this site so much sufering .I wish we gould all be closer and meet some day so tha we support eachother .Only people who suffer the same pain can understand. Im sorry for your loss 40 YEARS OF LOVE.I have been 40 years with my husband worked together so hard thinking that will have time to retire and be together in the age that children go away and you need your spouse more.What are gods plans ikeep asking no answer today is our engagement anniversary Im left behindto suffer alone.I also have agrandauter 14 but sometimes ifeel Idont careMy happines was Yianni and our love the whole wrld colapsed with him gone .Some of you say it will get easier >Reading what DEBORAH wrote I cant see any easiar pain I pray for him to help me Iknow he loved me and does not wany me to suffer. I also know that if i was first to go he would suffer great pain. i just dont want to thing of his beautiful blue eyes crying. THANK you for being there .............THIS site helps more than my doctor.DOCTORS seem to think that we should move and go on.IT IS SO HARD.

[AnnieO]

Teny,

I hesitate to post in this area(loss of a spouse) because I lost my mom in Dec.06, not my husband. But I wanted to share something with you that just happened to me a few weeks ago. I too , didn't see how the pain would ever be less or how I would go on..the other day I was sitting on my front steps, watching my horses in the pasture(my mom's favorite place to sit)I wasn't thinking about my mom but suddenly I had this overwhelming sense of her. Not that she was with me, I just felt how I did when I was with her, happy, safe and loved. I had not felt that feeling for months. I took a deep breath and for the first time in months, it didn't hurt to breathe. I had this thought go thru my head, again, not her voice, just a strong sense of what she would want me to do. She wants me to be happy, to live my life and be with my family. It was such a strange moment, but I felt more at peace than I had since she died. So, I do believe there will be a day when it doesn't hurt to breathe. How or when you get there is so hard to know...but your husband is with you thru this journey and you must go on for him.

p.s ..I agree, I wish we all lived closer too!

[kayc]

Teny,

I think Deborah would attest that it does get easier, none of us are in quite the intensity for the prolonged period of time that we were at first, a person does adjust...that doesn't mean we like it any more. We have what is referred to as "grief bursts", which come upon us inexplicably and with intense emotion, but even though we still go through pain and loneliness, it IS better than at first. The thing to remember is that there are ups and downs in this journey, and that is to be expected. It is a process and two years is nothing to measure anything by, personally, I feel it takes much more time. A coworker lost her fiancee when she was young and she said it took her at least three years to feel somewhat human again. Eventually we do see that we have to live, want to or not. Give yourself time, much time...