Tragic Loss

[Greg_P]

Im very new to this board but I need to get my feelings out and I am also typing from the top of my head so please excuss structure.

Two days ago the love of my life my true soulmate was taken from me in an armed robbery. Now Im crushed I feel so empty. I dont even know how to put this all into words. I have a large base of friends and coworkers who are all very supportive but I always seem to be just on the edge. My feelings of guilt, saddness, and anger or are overwelming. There are times I just want to quit. I think of all the small things im going to miss. Goint to the store with her, watching TV togeather, reaching out and just touching her, seeing her smile, calling me at work and telling me she called just to hear my voice, all the little cute things we did for each other. I really feel sometimes I cant take it. That first night at the hospital I thought about joining her so we chould be togeather agine. I wasn't even able to to say goodbye as the brain dammage left her body alive but takken her mind, she was only being supported by life support. As I said my final words over her I promised her I would join her when my time had come and I wouldn't cause that to happen. I take some solice in that my last words to her where "I love you". I no longer fear death.

I have have huge feelings of guilt everytime I try to make myself feel any better. I wonder for a second if there will ever be anyone else and then Im washed in guilt. I really dont know how to go on ..... I cant even see tomorow.

Greg

[Penny]

I am so sorry about your loss. I said a prayer for you to find peace in the midst of your despair. I recently lost both my mother and my brother. I know the unbearable pain.

I have a suggestion for you. I have found a great place with many caring people that will respond to your posts on their message boards. They also have chat rooms with moderators that will assist you and lift you up while you are grieving and feeling alone. Please visit there....it is called HALO. Here is the link....

HALO

[MartyT]

Dear Greg,

My heart aches for you as I read of the tragic death of your wife, and I can only imagine how horrible this must be for you.

I want to assure you that the guilt, sadness and anger you are feeling are normal reactions in grief, and most especially so when the death is sudden, violent and complicated by the circumstances you describe. Losing the one you love so dearly, and in such an unthinkable manner, is so very difficult to accept and to understand – and learning to live with it is a process that takes place not just over time, but over an entire lifetime. This is just too big to take in all at once and way too big for you to digest. You must let it in a little bit at a time over a very long period, as eventually your mind comes to accept what your heart cannot.

You will spend a lifetime struggling to come to terms with the "why" of this tragedy, and there will never be an answer that completely satisfies or makes sense to you – but as you travel the difficult journey ahead, there are some things you can do to help yourself. As a survivor of homicide, you can learn as much as you can about the subject. You can read what others have written about it (see, for example, the excellent book by Bill Jenkins, What to Do When the Police Leave; you can go to Amazon.com to order it or ask for it at your local library). See also Bill’s insightful Web site, Homicide: Resources for Death, Grief and Survivors of Homicide. You can visit other Web sites devoted to this subject as well, such as Gateway to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Information. See the links listed under the TRAUMATIC LOSS category on the Links page of my Grief Healing Web site for other helpful resources. Such sites will assure you that you are not alone in this tragedy, will offer you some ways to manage your grief, and will help you to recognize that if others can survive this most devastating of losses, then you can do it, too.

Please know that we all are thinking of you and holding you in our hearts, Greg. We cannot take away your pain, but we will not let you bear it all alone.

Wishing you peace and healing,

Marty T