Feeling Down

[Gail_R]

Well we are at another weekend. Sometimes I cann't believe that I have made another week without Bruce but I have. This is one of those weekends where it is going to be very hard to get throw. We are celebrating Thinkgiving in Canada. As always this is another first without Bruce. I told my kids that I just cann't hold Thanksginving this year it is to hard without him. So our daughter said that she would. She has called everyone and asked them to bring something for supper(smart girl we raised)God I HATE these first without Bruce. WHY WHY is it so hard to do things like this? I'm just sitting here typing and crying and feeling sorry for myself and in my heart I know that the kids are having a hard time with this but I am just not much help to then thses day's. Why is it you can have some good days and bam the littles thing will have you in tears? When or if ever will I feel like me again I know that it is only 8 months since he is gone but sometimes it feels like a life time ago that he was here with us. My daughter said something to me the other day that she cann't remebeer what her dads voice sounded like, so I said to her close your eyes and listen to your younger brother speech and you will here dadsvoice look at your olldest brother and we will see your dads built as he is built just like him and lastly look into the mirror and you will see dad as you look just like him and that made her feel better. So with that said I guess that we are all having a hrad time with this. Well we will get through Thanksgiving hard as it is but I will get through this. Thanks for being there for me. Gail

[Corinne]

Gail,

The firsts are sooo hard, but you will get through it. You have your children to help you and they have you to help them, even if it is just being there with them. What you told your daughter when she said she cannot remember what her Dad's voice sounded like was so beautiful, I am sitting here in tears. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers during yet another first for you.

Hugs & prayers,

Corinne

[karenb]

Hi Gail,

I, too, know what you're feeling even though it's been two years since Jack passed away. No matter what, I feel like a fifth wheel, even with family. We'll never know the "why" of this but I know God knows what's best in His grand plan. I also feel we won't be the same again but just get used to this different life. I hope your day will get better....thank God for our children, huh? I hope He blesses your day.

Your friend, Karen

[dpodesta]

I remember the 8 month mark very well, and it seemed to me that is when you are really coming out of the shock that your loved one is gone. Every little thing seems to set you off. I remember the first Thanksgiving, Karen is the only one in her family that knew how to make her Mama's stuffing. I had to find the reciepe and make it because I had helped her make it before and know what it tastes like before it is cooked. When I say helped her, it was mainly blending it all together. So I had to figure it out. It came out good and I know she would have been proud. Any way, you are doing fine and it sounds like your daughter is helping out a lot. God bless.

Love always

Derek

[Gail_R]

Thank you Corinne for your reply it helps to know that there are people who are out there that understand what it is like to lose the love of your life and still have to go about life without them. Thank you again for just being there for me it helps to just sit here and type out my feelings. Gail

[Mrcelloboy]

Hi Gail.

I really believe that loving and human relationship are the most important things in life. Our partners are the closest we ever get to not being alone in this world. My partner Kathy died just before Thanksgiving last year, and getting through that and Christmas, with her mom trying stay positive (which I'm sure Kathy would have wanted) was incredibly hard. I couldn't stop myself from crying. It's OK for us to feel sorry for ourselves at times. Eventually it won't hurt as much and we'll get to where we can focus on the love and goodness that made up our lost friends without as much pain.

[Gail_R]

Thanks to everyone who has replyed to my posting. As hard as it is to go forward it is a chose that we had to do. Because if Bruce was here he would say Gail come on you can do this I know that you can, the kids need you and that new grandbaby that is coming in the sprong you too. Sp thanks again to all of you. Gail