Signs

[shauna marie]

Since I lost both parents, I've had many, many signs that they are still with me.

Even one this morning.

I was at the doctor's and absentmindedly picked up a magazine and flipped to a story and started to read. All of a sudden two EMT's came in. At first I was sort of confused, then realized that they must be there for a patient who was too ill to make it to the hospital on his own.

I am triggered by ambulances. Towards the end of my mom's illness, she felt the doctor's weren't taking her seriously enough so she thought that if she got an ambulance, it would get her attention. She did it three times. First time was on my grandmother, my mother said that she collapsed from the heat and needed my grandmother to come up and call her an ambulance and go with her to the hospital. She was 81 at the time.

So I started to almost freak out. One EMT went back and got another bag and then I really almost started to freak out. Was thinking of leaving when I looked at the bottom of the page and seen my good friend, my bestest friend in the whole world--Winnie the Pooh.

I then calmed down. I talked to myself and reminded myself that this man needs attention. That he was going to go to the hospital and get taken care of and he'll be ok.

I have hundreds of other signs, but this is one that I wanted to share.

[DebFromLodi]

What are some of the other signs you have gotten? My mom has been gone for 3 months and i have not received any signs as of yet. i am so lonely without her and keep praying for anything, but nothing happens.

[leeann]

Thanks for sharing that Shauna.

Deb.. I've had many as well. Though I find they are little signs and ya have to be paying attention to see them. For instance..

Just one example..

The first time I had to enter my Mom's house by myself, just two days after burying her I was feeling pretty bad. I had found her dead on the floor in that house and was having flashbacks big time. The night I found her there was blood etc that I had to later clean up. So here I am about to enter the house for the first time alone. Of course my Mom was on my mind.

As I stuck my key in the door.. my cell phone rang. I looked at it and it was my sister. She had returned home, several states away, after the funeral the evening before. And here she was on my phone checking on me! So technically I didn't enter the house on my own. Sis was with me on the phone as I turned the key and went in. I think my Mom may have put a bug in my sis's ear to give me a call right then!

And if that wasn't enough... Mom must have wanted to make doubly sure I knew she also was with me.

Because after I went in and chatted with sis for a few minutes.. I hung up the phone and went to put my coat on the bed in her bedroom.

That's where everyone always put their coats when visiting, on Mom's bed.

And of course we had had many relatives and friends in that house the few days before because of the wake and funeral. But as I was about to lay my coat down, I glanced at her pillow and right in front of it was a Celtic Cross that had somehow fallen off my key ring over the course of the last few days. I hadn't even noticed it was missing off my key ring! But I had my keyes in pocket, pulled them out and yeah.. it wasn't there. It was right by Mom's pillow... kinda where she knew I would see it.

Also.. Mom was with me when I bought that key ring a year before.

Those are the types of signs I seem to get. They are small signs and usually there isn't any other explanation for the timing of certain things happening other than.. those that have passed having something to do with it.

I have learned.. there truly are no coincidences.

So keep your heart and mind open Deb and maybe you will see that you may have already had a sign or you will soon enough.

leeann

[shauna marie]

Deb,

The day my father died we had blizzard like conditions that lasted until after his funeral. I remember that night, it was clear as a bell and silent as could be.

The day my mother died it was sunshowers the whole day. I felt that she smiling because she was with my dad, but crying because she had to leave us.

So the weather has become a HUGE part. My brothers and I went on a mini vacation in 2006. We left our hotel room and walked to the restaurant that was only five mins away. There was hail that started just after we left the hotel and stopped as soon as we reached the restaurant. One of my brothers commented that it was like it was meant just for us. Then when I was in FL, it was sunny and beautiful the whole time we were there. The last day we were there, I went for a walk and was mad that it hadn't rained, it was supposed to for the last three days. I was thinking, maybe they left me? Not 20 minutes later the skies opened up and we got his with a major storm.

There was a time before my mother died that my brother, myself, and her were in the car. I was yelling about something and my brother prayed for my father to help. All of a sudden, the back window rolled down on its own. I didn't do it and my brother didn't do it.

My whole move to where I am living now was so perfectly orchestrated, there was another force behind it. In order for me to move here, I had to get a credit card. Well, I don't talk to telemarketers--ever. I also NEVER answer the phone when it's unknown name, unknown number. One night the phone rang. It was a telemarketer for me. I listened. Turned out I'd been approved for a credit card. With that cc, I was able to rent a car and my brother and I went to a city near here for a visit. He got the idea in his head that he wanted to move there. A month later, he was busy making plans and so I moved to a rooming house. That Sunday, my godfather called me. I hadn't heard from him in about six weeks or more. And as soon as he heard my plans, he sounded not happy about them. I was planning on driving my brother to the city for a job interview that following Tuesday. My godfather "just happened" to have a conference that he "didn't have to go to" in the city and met me for lunch and proposed I move here. Now, this is September.

Somehow I got the courage to come for a visit to see the area in October and fell in love with it. Now, my godfather owns three pharmacies, so I could work at one of his stores. He went to a fundraiser one evening and found out that a friend of theirs had an apartment that she hadn't had time to show because of the fundraiser. They also found me a bedroom set. The end of the October, I rented a car, packed it with not a whole lot, and got OUT.

It gets freakier though...

In October, I was talking to an online friend about another friend who had schizophrenia and bi-polar and she was on Zyprexa. My mom had been on that med, but she didn't have those illnesses...did she? I looked it up and found that it's usually only prescribed for those conditions. At that point, I started to wonder if she did, but soon forgot about it.

This past November I had plans to move back home. I was running away from money problems that I didn't want anyone to find out about and I was running away from mental health problems. Now, my godfather knew of someone who wanted to rent the apartment so he talked to my landlord to hold it over for the guy. I tried selling my furniture, but that didn't pan out. Thursday, November 16th, I had just decided I was going to put it in storage when my godfather told me about the guy that wanted the apartment, maybe he would want my furniture, too? That would have been great, would have paid for a rooming house for a month or two back home. So, on Saturday, I rented a small storage spot, didn't need a whole lot for my other stuff. After that was rented, my godfather got the call that the guy didn't want the apartment or the furniture. Great.

My godfather decided that he would be able to put it in storage at another time, for me not to worry about it. That night I went to their staff Christmas party. I ended up sitting at a table with my godfather, his wife, and a student pharmacist. (His wife is a pharmacist as well.) At some point during the evening, my godfather said to ask the student about any meds and he knows everything. All of a sudden I thought about the Zyprexa. I hadn't thought of it in a month, but just thought of it right then and there. I found out that medication is prescribed for those conditions. I also remembered that when my mom started on that med, she got "better". She got worse after she was under stress again. A lot started to hit that night and when I got back, I did my research.

I then realized that not only did my mom probably suffer from schizophrenia, but that I had a mental illness as well. And if I had went home, it would be throwing crap on my brother again and I wouldn't get better--I'd get worse.

My stuff stayed in storage for two months. I was able to keep my apartment--thanks to the fact that my landlord was holding it for the other guy who didn't want it. I still had my furniture--thanks to the other guy who didn't want it. Now, if that guy had never thought about the apartment, my landlord might have run an ad and may have found a new tenant. Or my furniture would have went in storage. Had I not sat with my godfather, his wife, and the student pharmacist, I would not have heard my godfather say that line and I would not have thought to ask about Zyprexa.

Coincidence?

There are times that I feel someone else taking over my body. I will do things that I normally wouldn't do, such as talk to the telemarketer. Or I'll all of a sudden get an idea or a thought that just came out of nowhere. I'll need money and get it. I'll feel so alone that I want to die--and my phone will ring. There's just ALWAYS something there.

I also felt taps on my shoulder after my father died. I never said anything to anyone about it. After my mother died, my brother felt the same taps. (So you know, my parents actually both died in the same bedroom.)

Oh, and my parents dog. We had to give her away, we couldn't keep her. She was nine years old at the time. We put ads in the local merchant, no one wanted her. Four weeks went by, we knew that we had to do something about her. Even if it meant putting her to sleep. Well, one day I screamed at my parents in the car and cursed them. It was bad enough that they were taken away from me, now I had to put their dog down. The next day, an angel called and wanted the dog. The dog loved her and her mother and she went very happily to their home.

Ok, I've rambled on enough. lol

Shauna

***Added***

I forgot the major one.

I listen to a radio station online. You may request up to two songs per hour, or whatever, depending on how busy it is. I had a habit of requesting songs to me by my Pooh Bear, Simon Moore. Just something hilarious about hearing the dj talk about him like he's real. Anyway, there was one day that I couldn't decide what I wanted to hear. I looked for one song, couldn't find it, no matter how hard I searched for it. Then I chose two songs. One was, "You're Still the One" by Shania Twain. Yes, my Pooh Bear dedicates that to me all the time. lol The other that I was going to choose was, "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt. I decided not to choose that one, since it isn't a happy love song. I chose another one, I forget which one.

Well, first I heard the other song I chose, then the one by Shania Twain. And then I heard, "You're Beautiful" and it was dedicated to me by Simon Moore. It IS possible that I did dedicate that one, but I'm almost positive that I didn't. I seriously started to shake when I heard it. The dedication, the whole thing. And no one that I knew online would have known that was my favorite song. And then the fourth song that I heard was the one that I had been looking for, but couldn't find.

The next day I was playing at a gaming site and this person came in the room. I checked their profile as I often do. I found out that he actually is a Pooh Bear. He dresses up in the suit and walks around Disneyworld. Now, I always visit that room and had NEVER seen him before. He wasn't in my age group, no reason for him to be there. I didn't see him again until the day before yesterday when he visited my room again. I had been able to see he was online playing other games, just not this particular one.

Edited May 7, 2008 by shauna marie

[DebFromLodi]

OK this is stupid but of course i am feeling really down in the dumps because of Mother's Day i guess. Anyway, i got my hands and knees in the living room and asked God to please let my mom send me a sign that she was ok, i asked for a sign that i could not miss, stood up and a car went by outside, sounded like the fender was off and hitting the tire. it loudly went "bam bam bam" as he drove down the street. Really loud. was that a sign? this all happneed seconds after i got up off my knees praying. i asked for one i could not miss and that was so loud i couldn't have missed the noise. Maybe i am not seeing the signs because i am expecting something "mysterious"?

[shauna marie]

Deb,

I would say that is definitely a sign.

I have had only two "mysterious" signs in my whole journey. All the rest are ones that I had to look for myself.

I also forgot to mention all the times that I felt so down, so alone, so everything--and the phone would ring and it would be my godfather. Or he'd be in the store when I was working and he wasn't supposed to be there.

Look around you. I'm sure that you will find there are more than one sign. Sometimes you just have to believe.

Shauna

[TimesRemembered]

My mom passed away a month ago and the day she passed and the few days following it was the most peaceful days outside I have ever experienced. No clouds in the sky no wind blowing it was beautiful. I knew she was telling me she was at peace.

My mom's favorite song was " Live like you were dying" being a terminally ill cancer patient it home for her, we also played it at her funeral. Well I always watch a country music station and watch the music videos, most of them are a very reppitisious(sp?) set. Well one day I was depressed and barely left the couch and "Live like you were dying" came on, it felt like she was hugging my heart. Also "I hope you dance" which my mom loved that song and she said it was about me and my sister. It was amazing.