allalone Posted July 17, 2008 Report Share Posted July 17, 2008 July 17 - one year.I can't believe I made it through. There were times I thought I was going to lose my mind but I've kept my sanity.I still miss my mom as much as I did a year ago - actually more. A year ago I just was thinking Mom wouldn't have to suffer anymore. I was numb. I bought similar flowers to what was on her funeral spray and wreath and made a bouquet - I got some oasis and a basket too. It turned out well. It was just that I wasn't able to make it earlier this week to the flower shop where I got her original flowers and the ladies there that were so nice are now no longer working there. The woman on the phone the other day was not very nice, so I decided I would put together an arrangement myself. It may not look quite as nice as what they make, but it does look ok. I know my Mom wouldn't like it if I spent way more for an arrangement to be done. She liked when I arranged flowers for her.God, I miss her so bad. It rips away at my soul. I know that the rest of my life I will have this hole that will never be filled. I've cried the whole time I've written this post. Just to be able to talk to my mom, to have her hug me. I've had some dreams of her. I always look forward to those dreams even if they are few and sometimes not the nicest dreams. But at least now I see her as she was in my dreams and not what she was like when she was sick.Tomorrow I'm bringing the flowers to her grave.a Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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