Help

[liberty]

please help me get thru this. I feel like i have been hit by a truck.

[DawnG]

Hi Liberty,

I'm not sure who it is you've lost but I know that I felt and sometimes still feel that way. It's the hardest thing anyone can go through, losing someone they love. I lost my mom to a nasty cancer, pancreatic, took care of her in her last days. If you want, tell me your story, I'm a good listener.

[leeann]

(((((Hugs)))))) We're here.. we'll help.

Yup. It definitely feels like that... awful, raw, shattering etc>>>

All normal.. unfortunately.

But..Hon please believe me it won't feel THIS intense forever.

This is incredibly new. You are in your first couple days here.

How about we focus on just the basics for a minute...

Are you eating?

Sleeping?

Resting whenever you can?

These are kinda critical in the beginning. If you are having trouble with any of these.. a call to your own Doc may serve you really well and help tremendously. Many of us here sought help from our Docs.

Have you told someone what has happened...the whole awful saga??

Because I learned that talking about the experience or different things that came to my mind during and after helped me. It helped me literally process what I witnessed and felt while I was witnessing it.

If you can't talk to someone... write it here. But getting it out helps.

What do you think are you having the most trouble with right now?

leeann

[liberty]

When do you regain your interest in "anything"

I just feel like someone has taken the wind right out of my sails.

[leeann]

Yup... that's a familiar feeling....

Not only windless sails.... but I believe someone has stolen my rudder.

At this point that feeling comes and goes. But it did take awhile for me to find anything worthwhile. Felt like I was just going through the motions with most of life for a bit there. Then slowly over time... I was able to get past all the sadness and have a decent time somewhere.

Having kids definitely helped me. They do not grieve like adults... They seem to get back on the horse of life a bit quicker and so... me being da Mom.. I gotta go with them.

At first it was a few moments when it wasn't on my mind. Then maybe a whole half hour went by when it wasn't on my mind. And that's the way it went for me.... in tiny increments.... a bit at a time.

Yes there are still days when I have to go through the motions. But not everyday anymore.

But with my rudder missing.. life seems to be a bit harder to navigate. I think I have it back and then... nope.... still feeling like I'm adrift sometimes. I guess that will go over time too. Well... I hope so.

But I hear ya.

leeann

[katy]

Hello,

Hang in there. The hit by a truck feeling does ease over time. Be sure to breath and take time to take care of your needs. Right now you may not know what you need. People would ask me what they could do...I would go blank. What I began saying was...thank you for the offer, I am not sure what I need right now. I will call you in a week or two and let you know. I felt weird putting it this way, but I think most people understood.

Know that we are all wishing you well, you are not alone. We don't know exactly how you are feeling and all grief is not the same, but writing here will help you work through how you feel.