The Hits Just Keep On Coming

[KathyG]

I had been doing pretty well lately, but now my sister's health problems have me reeling again. She is both bipolar and diabetic. When she visited me over the holidays, she missed her flight home because one of her manic episodes took over, and airport security had to call me to tell me to come and get her. I finally did get her home and she got her medications straightened out. I thought "OK, crisis over."

Then last night, my aunt called to tell me Alice had been rushed into intensive care because something is causing her kidneys to malfunction. We won't know why or how serious things are until the doctors complete a biopsy and some other tests. But I'm praying this isn't kidney failure and she won't have to start dialysis.

I was already upset when I heard about Alice because my dog was sick and was acting very listless, not at all like herself. After I hung up the phone, I starated screaming "Why, why? Hasn't she had enough?! Haven't I had enough?!" This is one of those times when I just feel like I've had all I can take. I know I've weathered such times before and have come through OK, and that gives me a little hope. But right now, I'm angry at God because my sister doesn't deserve this. (Not that being anger changes anything, but it feels better to vent.)

[WendyJ]

Kathy it is nice to see you back again as we have missed you. I am sorry you are going through a rough spell right now, I know all too well what that is like to have alot piled on you at once and believe me you will get through it somehow. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your sister right now and the rest of your family also. Please let us know how she is doing and the outcome of her tests. Please take care of yourself.

Love Always,

Wendy

[marsha]

Vent away, Kathy - I find screaming helps - good thing no one lives next door! It will change - and it will pass - Love, Marsha

[kayc]

Kathy,

Vent away, God can handle it. None of us know why things happen, they just do, I'm not even sure there is always a reason, I don't trouble myself too much with the whys because I usually don't get an answer, but sometimes we can't help crying out WHY!! anyway. We will pray for you and your sister both, please keep us posted on how things are going with her.

I love you,

Kay

[KathyG]

Everyone, thanks for your support and prayers. I called my sister yesterday to find out if her doctor gave her any news. She's a little depressed, not unusual under the circumstances, but is responding to treatment.

However - the doctor doesn't know what's causing her kidney problems. The biopsy and all the other tests they did have turned up negative. So we don't know if this was a one-time event, or if it might happen again. Thank God, though, at least the doctor doesn't think she needs dialysis.

I see this and other things happening around me (like some of my colleagues at work being laid off because there wasn't enough work for them), and often I still ache for Bill. And I wonder again if there'll ever come a time when I can get through a day without sadness. I won't give up and I know I've come forward a long way in my grief. But I still feel like I'm slightly disengaged from life; it's like watching TV with the sound turned down low and the colors are dimmed or the picture is full of static. I would love to be able to see life "in living color" again. But maybe I've lost the ability to do that. Even so, I just keep on truckin'.

[AnnC]

Keeping on trucking is the key. I remember well my "summer from hell". It began with being rear-ended, giving me a whiplash and totalling my car. Two weeks later, my ex-husband died within hours of getting the liver transplant he needed. When I got home from the funeral, I had to have a biopsy to see why I had some scary symptoms, and then learned that I had cancer and had to have a hysterectomy.

A few months later, my mother was diagnosed with the same exact cancer, and had to have the same surgery -- but being in her late 70's, it was dicier. Fortunately, she came through well, but a few months after that, my father was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer of the esophagus. He died ten months later. Then, my sweet kitty got into the antifreeze and his kidneys shut down and I had to have him put to sleep.

Sometimes it just keeps coming and coming, and all you can do is scream and then put your head down and just get through it. For the past year or two, things have quieted down a little and I have had a chance to try to heal a little. I hope it continues, though like you (and like many all over the country) there is the economy and layoffs and who knows what to come, that adds to our stress.

Take a deep breath, a hot bath, and pamper yourself -- we'll all get through it somehow.

Ann