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3 Years And 4 Months Today

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Another month without him. If I could only lay my head on his shoulder, just for a minute to let me rest. The grief makes me so tired. If I could only have one of his hugs it would give me strength to continue on surviving. It is still just surviving, not living. If only I could see his smile and touch his face, then maybe I could at last breathe again. Deborah

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Oh Deborah. I understand. I'm just 4 months ahead of you. I do talk to Gene every day and sometimes I tell him how much I need him here with me. But it's me and my little dog each day. Today I looked at the three bottles of aftershave/colonge and still yet I can't throw them away. I dust the bottles, open them up and smell and remember, and place them back where they have always been. We miss them every day, every moment. At the end of each day I stare at his picture and remember. And if I stare hard enough, long enough I can almost feel him with me. Is it enough? No....it will never be. Every day is all about getting up and taking another step forward just to get to the next day. It's so lonely without the ones we love and miss so terribly. Deborah, I know how you feel, what you are saying in your words and between each word. I've given up looking for answers.........it is surviving. I've accepted what I can not change and cherish the memories I hold on to. I would be content to be able to see through the veil and see Gene smiling......his beautiful smile would make my heart tremble with joy. My heart beats but feels nothing anymore. When you get up in the morning I'll take the first breathe of the day and think about you and when I take my first step I'll be taking it with you. So in the morning remember someone is thinking about you and walking along side of you my friend.

A wish for peace for all of us left behind.

Always Gene!


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Yes - this grief does make us tired, but we somehow continue to survive.

Nice people like you help us to remember our lost loved ones.

I feel sure that your Larry is smiling and wants to touch your face again and give you a big hug. Surely you can feel his presence. He wants you to be happy until you can be with him once again. :)


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Thank you my friends for your kinds words. Last night was one of those times where I just wanted him near. I know he is with me, sometimes you can't help but want to touch their face once more. I know you both, ustwo and Walt, understand. Thank you always for your kindness and support. Deborah

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